Funny Thanksgiving Jokes and Sayings

[MistressMinerva]

How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
One, but you really have to squeeze him in!

[MistressMinerva]

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy answered, "No ma'am, they're dead."

[MistressMinerva]

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

[MistressMinerva]

How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
He was very thinkful.

[MistressMinerva]

What does a Pilgrim call his best friend?
A palgrim.

[MistressMinerva]

Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language.

[MistressMinerva]

Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To try to hatchet!

[MistressMinerva]

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?

[MistressMinerva]

Teacher: "What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?"
Student: "Baseballs."
Teacher: "Baseballs?"
Student: "Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!"

[MistressMinerva]

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

[MistressMinerva]

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes - a building can't jump at all.