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Kids' Sports & Activities Kids' Sports & Activities

Giddyup! Would you let your child?

Posted by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 1:06 PM
  • 16 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Would you keep your child out of a camp they want to do if your ex (child's ex-step dad) didn't think it was safe enough? / How much weight would you give his opinion?

Options:

He's her "dad", he gets veto power

He gets an equal vote

Listen to his opinion, but mom gets the final say

None of his business, unless he's paying

Other, please explain


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 14

View Results

   My DD9 and our neighbor, 12, are in horseback riding camp four days a week, half days, for a month.  Camp is held at the ranch where they both have been taking weekly lessons for several months.  My DD has been in lessons for two years, with some time taken off in the summer, since it's really hot here.  Our neighbor was a complete beginner until my DD's horseback riding birthday party in Jan., then she signed up for lessons.

   All sports have a risk of injury, of course, but these are big, strong animals that can potentially hurt their young riders.  My sisters and I owned horses when we were teenagers, and my mom hired a trainer, since we were beginners.  We all fell off a few times, with no injuries.  My DD has seen a few incidents of a teenager falling off her own horse, one kicked another one and made her leg bleed yesterday, and a couple of kids have fallen off (not hurt).

   Another neighbor, a single dad (his DD12 spends time with my kids on his weekends) came over last night and said (jokingly!) that it's my fault that his ex signed his DD up for a weeklong residential riding camp, and he's worried she'll get hurt.  This girl is about 5' 5" tall, and weighs 125 pounds (she told me), so she is very big for her age.  He's crazy overprotective, and I've told him so many times.  I worry about my DD getting hurt, too, but she absolutely loves to ride, and I will let her for as long an she wants to continue.  Neither of these girls is "athletic", and I'm thrilled that my DD is interested in a sport.  (She also swims competetively, but horses are her passion).

      My neighbor was upset that his ex didn't talk to him about this riding camp before she signed her up.  (He's actually her ex step-dad, but she calls him "Dad."  Her real dad is in another state, and not involved.)  Do you think she should have talked to him or asked his opinion before signing her up?  (I knew about it, from her FB post).  I don't know if she didn't think it concerned him, or if she knew he wouldn't like the idea, and didn't want to listen to his concerns.

   Would you keep your child out of a camp she wants to do if your ex (not her real dad, but very involved) wasn't comfortable with it?  (I offered to let her come with us, but she'll be with her mom all summer).

   This is a picture of my DD and her favorite horse that she's been riding in camp this week.  After riding, the kids have been doing crafts, painting the horses, then washing them off.

This is from her birthday party, in Jan. The girl on the left is the one who is riding camp with her.

by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 1:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Barabell
by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 1:30 PM

If the mom has main or sole custody, I think she should have the final say. But it would be nice if she talked to the dad about his concerns.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Silver Member on Jun. 6, 2013 at 4:10 PM
Any sport can be dangerous. If you know the stable and the trainers, then it wouldn't he an issue for me.

I refuse to let my DD go to Girl Scout horse camp. They are staffed mainly but older girl volunteers who I don't feel have the training needed.
my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 9:24 PM
1 mom liked this

That is sooooo not true about Girl Scout camp!!!  The counselors are all over 18 and Girl Scouts are beyond well trained!!!!!  That is National standard for GS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   My dd LOVED Girl Scout camp and went to several different ones in a few states!

my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 9:25 PM

I think she should have consulted with him first, though if they communicated well, then they probably would have still been married. 

nymom13
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:30 AM
I have physical custody of my daughter who's 8. I don't run her schedule by my ex who is her father. It doesn't affect his visitation time and he never even offers to pay for any of her activities. If the stepdad is paying for his stepdaughter to ride, then he should have some say, but since it sounds like that's not the case, he can go on being crazy overprotective, but Mom is the one that gets the final say.
Jinx-Troublex3
by Silver Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 5:40 PM
That wasn't the case at the camp I looked into. We went with my bride's Troop before my DD was old enough and I was not impressed at all. Maybe standards have changed but I don't care for the GS program since the new journey/book updates so she will not be going.

She does go to a week long church camp. I wish they had a horse program.
my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:40 AM

 


Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

That wasn't the case at the camp I looked into. We went with my bride's Troop before my DD was old enough and I was not impressed at all. Maybe standards have changed but I don't care for the GS program since the new journey/book updates so she will not be going.

She does go to a week long church camp. I wish they had a horse program.

We have found them to be well trained. Yes they have a lot of CIT, counselors in traininng 16 and 17 year olds.  But, the staff is well trained and paid.  There are some adult volunteers too, but the counselors are paid.  The horse areas are under very strict rules, GS rules are by tougher than any other group I have ever worked!   My girls are in college, but we were involved from 1999 to 2012.  I will agree with the journey thing though.  We hated that change. 

 

Lynn750
by Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 10:32 AM
2 moms liked this
In the camp that my DD is attending right now, there are one or two adults, and several teenage assistants. Her regular coach is probably only about 19. I care far more that the coaches are experienced riders and good with kids, than I care about their age. Several of these girls are only 13-14, but they help the kids get the horses from the stalls, saddle and bridle them, and walk the little kids' horses on lead lines. I think the best way to tell if they know what they're doing, is to stick around and watch. I have to get back to work, but I stayed as long as I could, and the kids did a really good job. I do worry about injury, but that is a possibility in any sport, and I don't want to deprive my DD of something she loves.

When I started driving a van to pick up after school kids, I had just turned 19 and had only recently gotten my driver's license. I was 21 when I started driving a 65 passenger school bus on field trips, and supervising 50 kids and staff. No parent ever questioned my age or whether I should be doing any of that. I was very responsible and cautious.

I just think that experience, responsibility, knowledge about what they're teaching is more important than their age. I would rather have a 16 year old that has been around horses all their lives, than a 30 year old who went to the post office and decided on a whim to buy a horse (my mom). None of us knew anything about horses before we owned our first! She hired an experienced trainer to help, but we had no idea what to do! We learned fast.
VSBRivera
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 10:38 AM
1 mom liked this

Now I am child that my step dad was my father even after they split up he would still come and get me and take me out. He helped me make my choice on what college I decided to go to. but that was because he was in my life since i was 4 years old. Now if the little girls see this men as her father then he should have a say because he loves her as if she was his child. Now I understand why he is worried about her but all camps are dangerous. So I understand where he is coming from.

countrymomma81
by soccermom on Jun. 21, 2013 at 9:57 PM

I don't know what I'd do. Well, yeah I do. Because I'm head strong I'd sign the kid up if that's what she wanted. But I also know my husband is a push over when it came to the kids and if something happened to our marriage I would hope he'd trust me to know what's best for them. 

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