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Not TTCing anymore :'( PIOG

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 12:35 PM
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So last night DH kinda hinted to me (in not so many words) that if I don't stop freaking out over all this TTC stuff he's potentially considering divorce. He was just about in tears and said that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him and he doesn't want things to change between us but that he doesn't know how to console me anymore over this TTC stuff and doesn't want "us" to have to change. DH is my entire world and I seriously don't think I could go on with my life if he ever left me. So I'm making the decision that we're not going to TTC anymore. I hope you will allow me to stay here and cheer you guys on in your TTC journeys but I can't do it anymore. It's too hard on my marriage and I'm pretty convinced at this point that if I were meant to be a mom, it would have happened by now. I just recently reconnected with a friend from high school who just got divorced because of their fertility issues (they tried for 3 years, which is the timeframe DH and I are headed towards in just a couple months from now) and I'm so afraid of that happening to DH and me. I would love to stay if you're ok with it but if you want me to go, I'll totally understand. I just don't know what to do anymore and could really use a hug.
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by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 12:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mrs_nielson
by Member on Jan. 4, 2012 at 1:28 PM
2 moms liked this
{Big hugs} I'm so sorry hunny! I am here anytime you want to talk. I think that you are meant to be a mom, just not now. And I totally understand, my dh is my entire life as well. Lots of love & of course you can stay around! We love you darling!
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Shatina242003
by New Member on Jan. 4, 2012 at 9:03 PM

 Sending hugs and prayers your way. 

wannababy01
by New Member on Jan. 5, 2012 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this

sorry to hear that your going thru that right now hugs I sure don't mind you sticking around TTC is such a hard journey I just hit my two year mark this month.... and it has surely put a strain on my marriage as well so I can understand where your coming from. Maybe all you guys need is a little break then you can try again. What has helped my marriage out is that I stopped telling my DH about my temps or when I was ovulating...he wants to have a baby but he says that  timing  BD and telling him honey we need to BD tonight took the fun out for him... so what I do is just seduce him.. sending sexy texts... or emails..wear sexy lingerae you know... massages.. and all...just spice things up I try to time BD but don't tell him that I'm ovulating...for him it has taken the stress out of TTC.. I now look at forums.. and sites.. where I can talk to other Ladies.. and I can obscess with them about symtoms and just vent when I need to and share...and just took that part out of my marriage...I guess sometimes sharing too much with your husband is not that good.. and thats what happend to me.. I kept telling him about every dip I had and it was just too much for him to handle...so we are TTC but he no longer knows all the details... he sometimes ask me... so honey what stage are you on? and are you close to ovulation and I share with him when he asks..but only when he asks me do I tell him.. and that has helped us out a lot!!! hope everything works out for you and your DH. 

HopefulMommy89
by Bronze Member on Jan. 5, 2012 at 12:33 PM
We've technically been on a TTC break since the end of October/beginning of November when our last IUI failed. It's taken some of the stress out of it but it's still bubbling just under the surface for both of us, especially since we've had a whole new group of friends become pregnant with their second ones just recently, after having just had their first babies within the last 12-24 months. So we're at the beginning of baby boom #2 for all of our friends and we're both still getting pressure from everyone asking when we're going to have a baby (we've been TTC for almost 3 years now, so it's not like we're avoiding it!!). I would give anything to be able to not think about it at all anymore but I don't know how to do that. I guess I'm just perpetually frustrated. But I'm glad that others understand where I'm coming from and can relate! (((hugs)))

Quoting wannababy01:

sorry to hear that your going thru that right now hugs I sure don't mind you sticking around TTC is such a hard journey I just hit my two year mark this month.... and it has surely put a strain on my marriage as well so I can understand where your coming from. Maybe all you guys need is a little break then you can try again. What has helped my marriage out is that I stopped telling my DH about my temps or when I was ovulating...he wants to have a baby but he says that  timing  BD and telling him honey we need to BD tonight took the fun out for him... so what I do is just seduce him.. sending sexy texts... or emails..wear sexy lingerae you know... massages.. and all...just spice things up I try to time BD but don't tell him that I'm ovulating...for him it has taken the stress out of TTC.. I now look at forums.. and sites.. where I can talk to other Ladies.. and I can obscess with them about symtoms and just vent when I need to and share...and just took that part out of my marriage...I guess sometimes sharing too much with your husband is not that good.. and thats what happend to me.. I kept telling him about every dip I had and it was just too much for him to handle...so we are TTC but he no longer knows all the details... he sometimes ask me... so honey what stage are you on? and are you close to ovulation and I share with him when he asks..but only when he asks me do I tell him.. and that has helped us out a lot!!! hope everything works out for you and your DH. 

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Blue-PinkDream
by Head Admin on Jan. 5, 2012 at 11:00 PM
2 moms liked this

i sure dnt mind!!! and im sorry to hear u r in that situation....ull c...many women become pregnant once they stop trying..i hope this happens to u!  u deserve it! =) prayers your way!!

KaitlinC87
by Group Mod on Jan. 12, 2012 at 11:49 AM

We don't mind if you stay! I know how you feel, TTC caused a major strain in my marriage and we decided to take a break.

Ladysigma07
by Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:51 PM
Same here!


Quoting KaitlinC87:

We don't mind if you stay! I know how you feel, TTC caused a major strain in my marriage and we decided to take a break.


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Tals27
by on Jan. 19, 2012 at 7:05 AM
I bet as soon as you stop trying it will happen! We all deserve to be Moms! Sending prayers and huge hugs to you
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HopefulMommy89
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2012 at 9:12 AM
We haven't been that lucky so far (we technically stopped trying a couple months ago), and I don't think it will happen like that for us since I don't typically ovulate on my own without meds :( But I guess miracles happen all the time for other people; why not us, right?

Quoting Tals27:

I bet as soon as you stop trying it will happen! We all deserve to be Moms! Sending prayers and huge hugs to you
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kjoarcik
by on Jan. 28, 2012 at 11:15 AM

Sometimes people don't realize that those words "when are you going to have a baby" can hurt so much.

Have you thought about being honest and telling people that you are struggling to conceive? It's hard to not stress about it when people are constantly asking questions.

Me and my hubby have been TTC for 2 years now and we've pretty much told all our family and friends the story and honestly, no one really mentions us having kids anymore. They are there to support us if needed, but they don't unintentionally say hurtful things anymore.

Quoting HopefulMommy89:

We've technically been on a TTC break since the end of October/beginning of November when our last IUI failed. It's taken some of the stress out of it but it's still bubbling just under the surface for both of us, especially since we've had a whole new group of friends become pregnant with their second ones just recently, after having just had their first babies within the last 12-24 months. So we're at the beginning of baby boom #2 for all of our friends and we're both still getting pressure from everyone asking when we're going to have a baby (we've been TTC for almost 3 years now, so it's not like we're avoiding it!!). I would give anything to be able to not think about it at all anymore but I don't know how to do that. I guess I'm just perpetually frustrated. But I'm glad that others understand where I'm coming from and can relate! (((hugs)))

Quoting wannababy01:

sorry to hear that your going thru that right now hugs I sure don't mind you sticking around TTC is such a hard journey I just hit my two year mark this month.... and it has surely put a strain on my marriage as well so I can understand where your coming from. Maybe all you guys need is a little break then you can try again. What has helped my marriage out is that I stopped telling my DH about my temps or when I was ovulating...he wants to have a baby but he says that  timing  BD and telling him honey we need to BD tonight took the fun out for him... so what I do is just seduce him.. sending sexy texts... or emails..wear sexy lingerae you know... massages.. and all...just spice things up I try to time BD but don't tell him that I'm ovulating...for him it has taken the stress out of TTC.. I now look at forums.. and sites.. where I can talk to other Ladies.. and I can obscess with them about symtoms and just vent when I need to and share...and just took that part out of my marriage...I guess sometimes sharing too much with your husband is not that good.. and thats what happend to me.. I kept telling him about every dip I had and it was just too much for him to handle...so we are TTC but he no longer knows all the details... he sometimes ask me... so honey what stage are you on? and are you close to ovulation and I share with him when he asks..but only when he asks me do I tell him.. and that has helped us out a lot!!! hope everything works out for you and your DH. 


TTC our first. 

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