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It's been QUITE a ride and I'm feeling SO discouraged...

Posted by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 10:41 AM
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The abridged version of my story is this: My partner is 27, and is going to carry our child. I am 28. We tried from 2010-2011 with a longtime friend as our known donor, via the instead cup method, for about 9 months. His schedule got difficult to keep up with, so we switched to a new known donor. On the very first attempt with the new donor, we got pregnant. All went well for four months, when my wife developed chorioamnionitis last September, and I won't go into details, but our son was born too premature, and we lost him a couple days before my wife's birthday. It has taken an unspeakable toll on us, but after doctor's orders to wait 6 months to ttc, we have been trying with the same donor since April... so next onth will be our 8th month to try again.

I know technically we are "ttc after a loss" or whatever [those groups are terribly inactive] but I guess I'm posting here for positive words -- after losing our son Levi, and trying again for so long, we are DISCOURAGED. The doctors say we have no reason to think we won't get pregnant again, that Chorioamnionitis is very, very rare and not caused by anything to do with my wife or the donor or anything we did. She just contracted an infection that found its way into the amniotic fluid, and his lungs weren't strong enough to take the early labor which the infection caused...

I guess I just want someone to tell me it WILL happen again - that all these hour long trips to see the donor, all the weekends he stays in our guest room to allow for trying, all the icky semen and cups and opks and disappointment will add up to us actually getting to be parents.

We've found ourselves at a stalemate where there's nothing more we can try that we haven't already. I think our next ideas, if we don't get pregnant by the end of the year, is to beg the doc for clomid or maybe try a combination of syringe and cup... I don't know. I feel like we're running out of time, or that it will never happen.

I know I sound crazy, so if you took the time to read this, I appreciate it...just needed to get that off my chest.

by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 10:41 AM
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Replies (1-4):
Blue-PinkDream
by Head Admin on Oct. 19, 2012 at 12:14 PM

im so sorry to hear about your baby levi. I may have not lost a born baby, but i had two miscarriages in less than a year ,in both i only got to about tree and a half months. so i can relate to your pain in some way.discouragement would only be natural in our situations, but you both have to try and be very very positive. <3 after two miscarriages we decided we would be as positive as we could, we had two angel babies, but we were going to try for a third that could hopefully make it here with us on earth =)..after three years of endlessly trying we are now  23 weeks pregnant with our baby boy =) everything is going perfectly fine . so my only advice to you is to be optimistic and dnt try to hurry things too much... God will give you your baby soon, you;ll see...all u need is patience and to RELAX. we conceived on a break we had tsken from opk and temping. ... so fingers crossed for you and ur wife and you guys will be in my prayers. <3 dnt stress <3fingers crossed

Dani1009
by Member on Oct. 20, 2012 at 9:34 PM
2 moms liked this
Don't give up! I know it feels hopeless to start over again, but it will be worth every minute of effort you put into making a family. Of course it will happen again, there is no reason to question that. Just hold your head up, stand tall, & march on.
We've been ttc our first baby for 2.5 years, with 2 early miscarriages. I'm exhausted from trying, but giving up isn't an option.
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HopefulMommy89
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 12:33 AM
((((hugs)))) Sorry for your loss. Keep your head up; it will happen. Trust me, I know how hard it is; we've been TTC, including fertility treatments, acupuncture, personal training, etc, for over 3 1/2 years and I've never been pregnant. We're starting our 9th round of fertility treatments, including our 1st round of injectibles, tomorrow. I know it may feel like it but you're not alone in this!!
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mrs_nielson
by Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:47 AM
Good luck!! I pray for you every night!!! <3


Quoting HopefulMommy89:

((((hugs)))) Sorry for your loss. Keep your head up; it will happen. Trust me, I know how hard it is; we've been TTC, including fertility treatments, acupuncture, personal training, etc, for over 3 1/2 years and I've never been pregnant. We're starting our 9th round of fertility treatments, including our 1st round of injectibles, tomorrow. I know it may feel like it but you're not alone in this!!

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