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The importance of being a little selfish....

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It is so easy for HS mom's (and most mom's for that matter) to get stressed out. It's so easy to forget our sanity is important too. I mean think about it - we spend 99% of our days thinking of our families and providing everything they need. But if I've learned one thing in the last 10 years, it's that it's important for us to not forget about ourselves. No matter how busy our day, or how tired/overwhelmed we get, we need to be a little selfish once in a while or we'll end up completely burnt out - then we're no good for anyone. It doesn't have to be complex or expensive, just take a few minutes to do something you enjoy for yourself.

What do you do for your YOU time?

I read in the evenings. Once the kids are in bed - at about 8 pm, my DH settles in to watch all those competition tv shows (Idol, DWTS, Voice, etc) so I go outside - no matter the weather - and read. I don't care if the house looks like it was invaded by crazed elves, I think I'd go a little crazy without that short time to read a brainless book (my guilty pleasure are paranormal romance novels....cheezy I know!).

by on May. 18, 2011 at 8:02 AM
Replies (11-16):
by on May. 19, 2011 at 1:32 PM
1 mom liked this

GREAT LADIES!!! When I was writing the post I was agonizing over the title....Me Time isn't Selfish time it's more like Therapy or Sanity time!! I'm a much more sane and happy person for having those few minutes each evening....and to those who haven't been able to work in a little 'me' time as of yet, my advice is to keep it simple. Me time doesn't have to last a long time, nor does it have to cost money:

*Start a ME JOURNAL! This is really important for every-one's happiness, and a great thing for our teenagers to start. Essentially you can treat a me journal like a regular journal - writing about all the flotsam and jetsam of your day - but you MUST also include 1 thing you liked about yourself that can be something as silly as how you didn't burn dinner, or something profound like paying it forward. Finding 1 thing to feel good about ourselves (not about Anyone else but Us) is a way of finding pride and contentment within our own skin. We are more productive and content when our self-esteem and self-worth is healthy, and we can better teach these important traits to our children.

*Ask someone (spouce, friends, whatever!) to take the kids outside for a little while, LOCK the bathroom door and turn on some music. Allow yourself a long shower or bath..I sometimes joke that I haven't pee'd by myself since I had kids, I'm usually interrupted, but if the kids are distracted with someone else supervising, then you should be guilt free in a 20 min ME time!

*Go shopping alone. Seriously, it doesn't have to be meaningless money spending, you could even go grocery shopping - as long as you aren't the type to get stressed out. If it's Not Enjoyable then it's NOT me time!

*After the kids are in bed, lock yourself in your room for 20 minutes - then you can read, listen to some music, watch a chick-flick, etc....turn off the phone, put a sticky note on the door saying "come back in 20!" Don't think about the chores needing to be done, or anything but something enjoyable to you.

*Give yourself a manicure! Seriously, I think back to my teenage years and I was so happy for having something pretty, like nicely painted nails/toe nails (and I'm SOOOO NOT a girly-girl). That is even more true now that I sometimes forget to change into real clothes and outta my PJ's for days on end. So it's nice to take 10 minutes to file, clean and paint my nails once in a while.

I think its important to point out there is a HUGE difference between Narcissism/Self-centered and having a healthy self-worth and contentment. I love spending time with my kids, and its sometimes hard to find time for one-on-one time with them...but I'm no use to ANYONE if i'm stressed or bummed out. That's when even I entertain the thought that I am not capable of doing this important job. But having a few minutes each day to write in my journal and read a book is very important to me. I can look back and be proud of this job I'm doing - just as I'm (hopefully) teaching my boys to take pride in what they do.

by on May. 19, 2011 at 1:54 PM

For my me time I read in my comfy spots in the house or sit in my zero gravity chair outside while I read, or go to the foot spa or go to  the mall or play my Wii or dance with my WII MJ exsperiance lol ,,, use my computer. Go for a walk or work out. I love to plant flowers or garden. Sometimes I will go to a friends house and do a craft. Some times for my me time I play my guitar or write a song.

by on May. 19, 2011 at 5:11 PM

 yes i agree very important for moms to have some time to do something they want, if your not you might get grumpy, and tired of hsing all the time, less patient, etc!


by on May. 20, 2011 at 3:59 PM

Cafemom is my time out. I also have a daily workout that it too important to miss.

by on May. 20, 2011 at 9:39 PM
I had the most wonderful relaxing day with my mom today. It was unexpected too! We started off just planning to go to the chiro and pick up a shirt order. Well we needed to wait 2 hours for it to be done so we went to ikea real quick and then had lunch at a nice italian place, stopped in barnes and noble, got some ice cream at a local shop. Then we picked up some flowers to plant before heading home! It was awesome!
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by on May. 22, 2011 at 7:41 PM

Reading here too.  I bought the whole set of Anne Bishops Black Jewels series for Christmas and enjoyed every last one of them.  I also go out and take walks several times a week.  My older kids can watch their younger brother for a little bit and I get my walk in the morning before it gets too hot.  It's my downtime.

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