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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

how do you explain?

Posted by on May. 18, 2011 at 5:43 PM
  • 18 Replies

your decision to home-school to your not so supportive in-laws?

all of my in-laws have done the "have baby, at 2 wks pp go back to work put baby in daycare, school age toss them in public school ect" I'm the first sahm/wahm in their family....I'm also the firs to breastfeed, cloth diaper, non vax ect. they all think I'm crazy already. but its hard having no support :/ id at least like the acknowledgement that they wont criticise my every move kwim?


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by on May. 18, 2011 at 5:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hailnbray
by on May. 18, 2011 at 6:15 PM

 its not something we really talk about.

Christine0813
by on May. 18, 2011 at 6:23 PM

So far, two of six in laws have been supportive. That has shocked me, but I still have four more, lol. I'm sure they've heard by now. I don't have to justify my reasons. If they don't like it, they can lump it. One of them had a son kicked out of a private Catholic school. So I dare them to say anything negative to my face.

BetcCarter
by on May. 18, 2011 at 6:27 PM

I don't make a big deal out of it but if they ever mention it I just say something along the lines of: This is what is best for our family. I leave it at that...but if they put you in a position where you feel you have to explain further just be honest about your reasons.

oredeb
by on May. 18, 2011 at 8:48 PM

 mine are very supportive, the whole family  homeschools

well i guess you've gotta just tell them this is your dh and your choice to do , this is what you want for your family and leave it at that. if their gona argue with you  dont go around them till they stop

debbie

ziff130
by on May. 18, 2011 at 9:28 PM

My in-laws think I'm crazy for similar reasons. I am "too hippy" for them. LOL! I don't care though. I'm mom and it's my decision and dh is very supportive of our decisions and always stands up for me. If they say anything then he steps in. I'm so grateful for that. :)

reneawesley
by on May. 18, 2011 at 10:08 PM
Both sides of the family have people who homeschool and are supportive.
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jeng1980
by Member on May. 18, 2011 at 10:19 PM

I'm the first to homeschool in our immediate in law family.  Cousins were never homeschooled either.  We informed them when we were asked about how they were doing in school mid year that we homeschooled and they were doing wonderful.  Of course I discussed it with my mom before we started.  I had a big battle in my little mind about it for about 3 months and really needed others to lift me up in prayer on me making the right decision for my family.  I also prayed before I approached DH about it.  I prayed he iether would be totally against it or totally supportive.  That would be my confirmation either way.  He was and is totally supportive.  He thinks its awesome and loves to do what he can to help me.  He is gone from Sunday afternoons until Thursday evenings and sometimes Friday nights so he really doesn't engage in a whole lot of the homeschool but when I'm having a hard time explaining something to our almost 2nd grader sometimes he can come in and explain it totally different and DS will get it.  DH has nothing but good things to say about it to his family.  My MIL who is usually very negative about things has come out and admitted that she noticed that Noah seems much more happier at home.  I didn't say anything in response because I really donm't understand why she was shocked that he would be happier being with mom instead of a stranger all day in the classroom.  I think my FIL thinks it's unconventional but he sees the good in it.  I really don't care what my SILs and BILs think.  They are younger than me and totally not on my list of people who I want to approve of what I do.

peanut06
by on May. 18, 2011 at 11:30 PM

My in-laws live in Georgia and we're in western Kentucky, so what we do up here doesn't really affect them down there.  It's my family, which happens to be local, that was more unsupportive, particularly my grandmother, who taught in a one-room school house for about 3 years.  Funny thing is, her main objection isn't even school-related; it's that old dead horse everyone loves to beat, socialization.  I told her, "Think how little my cousin D and I did socially in public schools and we both turned out great academically." 

I asked her one day to note all her concerns and I'd try to answer them.  I also calmly explained our reasons for choosing this.  Then, we agreed not to discuss homescholing again unless she brought it up in a supportive manner.  She may be finally coming around, though.  A few weeks ago, she started a discussion with, "You might be able to do this thing, but I..."  I'm starting to think her socialization fears are more about the mom missing time with peers than the kids missing it LOL

You could try the "get your fears out then we won't talk about it anymore" method.  After that, if tey start negatively, you AND SO jointly shut them down with a simple statement, such as "This is OUR choice for OUR children."  Or, if it has to be even firmer, "If you want to spend time with our children, you will be supportive of our decision or keep your ideas to yourselves."



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Happy momma and natural birth, homeschooling, and ERF advocate!
misselphaba
by Bronze Member on May. 18, 2011 at 11:51 PM

My MIL wasn't for it right away.  She saw that it is something that is wonderful and now she brags about it to her friends. 

Until then, I just ignored her.  I had nothing to prove to her.  I didn't feel that I needed her permission or acceptance on the subject. 

So_Blessed7
by on May. 19, 2011 at 12:15 AM

Wow, you are so lucky!

Quoting oredeb:

 mine are very supportive, the whole family  homeschools


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