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your decision to home-school to your not so supportive in-laws?

all of my in-laws have done the "have baby, at 2 wks pp go back to work put baby in daycare, school age toss them in public school ect" I'm the first sahm/wahm in their family....I'm also the firs to breastfeed, cloth diaper, non vax ect. they all think I'm crazy already. but its hard having no support :/ id at least like the acknowledgement that they wont criticise my every move kwim?

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by on May. 18, 2011 at 5:43 PM
Replies (11-18):
by on May. 19, 2011 at 12:17 AM

I haven't had too much resistance to our decision to homeschool, but people sure are opinionated in how we do certain things. They want to know how I will make sure they are learning everything they need to know, and I've had a lot of questions about socialization. Fortunately, our area has a homeschooling enrichment hub where kids can take classes and be with other homeschooled kids. When I explain that, they seem to feel better about it. 

by on May. 19, 2011 at 1:32 AM

Just explain that you apperciate their concern and they they love your child enough to care, but that you are the parents and it's your child and it's your decision.

Did you ask them about breastfeeding? The cloth diapers? The vaccines? Bedtime? Rules? What your kids can watch on TV?

Then why homeschool should they get a say in homeschool or PS???

You'll be fine-I wouldn't bring it up until it's time...

Sonita - Homeschooling Mom to Ephram (7) and Malachi (4) 

Mod for CafeMom-run Homeschooling Moms Group

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by on May. 19, 2011 at 1:30 PM

I'm the first ever to homeschool, you would think from the way they looked at me when I mentioned it.  But I gave my MIL the reasons why and told her that even if my own parents weren't supportive I would still do it, and she didn't like it but hasn't brought it up since.  I asked her to help with teaching sewing (she taught home ec for years in ps) and I think that helped thaw her out some.  I don't talk about much of anything with the rest of them, so doesn't matter to me. :)

by on May. 19, 2011 at 1:35 PM

My inlaws thought I was a strange bird. I was the only one to ever nurse in that family, and for a long time I think they thought I was just waaay over-protective - that I was HS'ing in order to 'shelter' the boys from the big, bad world. (which must be a terrible thing?) Anyway we never discussed it - I do NOT feel the need to seek their approval. I was always willing to answer questions, and would tell them to cut it out when they would try to quiz my boys (who were really young at the time)...but over time they stopped thinking it was stupid, and now brag like it was something that had a hand in....don't give up hope!

by on May. 19, 2011 at 3:06 PM

Whether it's in-laws or anyone else, I've always told people who ask "why we would homeschool" that it was a personal decision and felt right for us.  I've had friends who were actually defensive about traditionally schooling their children.  I've said to them that my decision to homeschool wasn't a judgement on their choice to send their children to school.  Many people (maybe subconsciously) think that you are criticizing their decisions by making the choice to homeschool.  

I have asked people who are adamant that homeschooling is not a good choice why they decided to send their children to school.  "Because that's what everyone does," doesn't make a real strong argument they quickly realize.

Hang in there...our daughter (16) and son (13) are happy, well socialized, confident kids...and those who once doubted our decision are now taking notice that we may have made the right one ;)

by on May. 19, 2011 at 3:39 PM

It's barely come up, thankfully! And DH gets to deal with it ;) My in-laws are almost 2000 miles away.

by on May. 20, 2011 at 4:01 PM

I get to decide what is best for my kid. It's simple. They don't agree and don't like it but it works and that's scoreboard.

by on May. 20, 2011 at 11:04 PM

my mil was against ti at first because the kids would get no social interaction. she is fine with it now and even brags to others how well they are doing. i think for her she needed to see that they had friends and were learning. for me...i could care less what others thought about my choice to homeschool my kids. they are my kids, i care about their education. i think their education is more important than social interaction or being able to experience going to PS and riding a bus. to each their own - sorry mama but they will probably never like what you do - it will never be right or good enough.

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