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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Want to homeschool, but...

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I started homeschooling my three year old last September. In January my DH contacted early education to evaluate him for some issues we were seeing in his behavior. The evaluation was to last two days, but he was so hyper and unfocused that it took four days instead.

Back in September I had realized that Monkey (3 year old) had too much energy to sit long enough for paper work. Still, I taught him while he played or was active. He surprised me at how quickly he grasped colors, letters, counting /numbers, shapes, vocabulary, and simple science. The evaluation revealed he is academically at a kindergarten level. His vocabulary astonished the speech teacher. Anyway, his social conversation speech, hyperactivity, and his inability to follow two step directions qualified him for services through the state. We had two options: home therapy or send him to preschool early (his birthday was behind the cut off date, so he had to be special needs to go this last year). Because his issues are mainly social, DH decided we should try preschool.

Monkey started in February. For the last month he has thrown huge fits before school. He has even asked me to be his teacher again. I want to bring him home, again. The school wants to extend his school hours to full days by sending him to two preschool, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.

DH and I had a pretty intense argument yesterday about it. I have continued Monkey's education at home. DH, though, thinks that Monkey needs public education. He says that he doesn't believe I can teach Monkey, because he saw me stop the formal schooling back in September. I told DH to test Monkey now and then again before preschool next year. If Monkey learns through the summer, then I want to homeschool. He won't budge, though. He says that homeschooled kids can't make it in society and I will make our kids stupid.

Someone help, please? How do you convince someone that public school isn't the only educational option that brings out well rounded adults?
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by on May. 20, 2011 at 6:37 PM
Replies (11-18):
06-07mom
by on May. 21, 2011 at 1:15 AM

I can't believe your husband danced around and said he's glad monkey is out of his hair. I personally would be packing my bags and leaving if my husband said that. For us personally we don't want our children to leave us and go be "taught" from people we know nothing about!

 

Your son is 3 and he's a boy. He sounds pretty normal to be. I have 2 boys a 3.5 yr old and a 5 year old and they both sound like your son! I hope you can convince your husband to see your side of the story!

acornmama
by on May. 21, 2011 at 2:06 AM


Quoting Kenre:

I don't know what is going on. Monkey's teacher called a few weeks ago to say he should attend Headstart next year along with his special education school (learning together). They have DH convinced that Monkey needs more time there to stop his tantrums, sit still longer, and is gone out of the house for hours... DH literally danced around the house Monkey's first day of school and said the best thing is that Monkey was gone out of his hair.

I have tried to explain exactly what you said to DH. He just says that public school does it, so it can be done.


Quoting hailnbray:

 first off more 3 yr olds have social issues. they spend there life with mommy and learning to interact with other children takes time. also my 8 yr old doesnt even do sit down book work. its crazy to think a 3 yr old would. We also have a child with special needs and they have never pushed extra preschool because of social issues. are you sure there isnt something more going on.

Public school could NOT contain my 8 year old. They pushed for medication hard, My 8 year old went to public school from 18 months old until 6 years old, socially, hyperactively and educationally he was doing WORSE. We pulled him out because THE SCHOOL PUSHED for it because we would not medicate (read the side effects and warnings) and now that he is homeschooled I take him in for testing every year, he is a 2nd grader reading and doing math at a 4th grade level. He can now sit still for a decent amount of time. His energy has been chanald well, and anyone who knew him will tell you they don't recognize him, because he is such a good and smart kid. There are alternative learning groups through the schools that will moniiter your homeschooling progress. I'm sorry this is happening for you, I'll be praying your husband comes around, understands, and desires a parent led education in your sons life. Good luck

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acornmama
by on May. 21, 2011 at 2:10 AM


Quoting acornmama:


Quoting Kenre:

I don't know what is going on. Monkey's teacher called a few weeks ago to say he should attend Headstart next year along with his special education school (learning together). They have DH convinced that Monkey needs more time there to stop his tantrums, sit still longer, and is gone out of the house for hours... DH literally danced around the house Monkey's first day of school and said the best thing is that Monkey was gone out of his hair.

I have tried to explain exactly what you said to DH. He just says that public school does it, so it can be done.


Quoting hailnbray:

 first off more 3 yr olds have social issues. they spend there life with mommy and learning to interact with other children takes time. also my 8 yr old doesnt even do sit down book work. its crazy to think a 3 yr old would. We also have a child with special needs and they have never pushed extra preschool because of social issues. are you sure there isnt something more going on.

Public school could NOT contain my 8 year old. They pushed for medication hard, My 8 year old went to public school from 18 months old until 6 years old, socially, hyperactively and educationally he was doing WORSE. We pulled him out because THE SCHOOL PUSHED for it because we would not medicate (read the side effects and warnings) and now that he is homeschooled I take him in for testing every year, he is a 2nd grader reading and doing math at a 4th grade level. He can now sit still for a decent amount of time. His energy has been chanald well, and anyone who knew him will tell you they don't recognize him, because he is such a good and smart kid. There are alternative learning groups through the schools that will monitor your homeschooling progress. I'm sorry this is happening for you, I'll be praying your husband comes around, understands, and desires a parent led education in your sons life. Good luck

chanald = channeled

Sorry, long day I'm tired

Xakana
by on May. 21, 2011 at 11:23 PM

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this. DH and I both agreed to homeschool becuase I was almost one of those schools-cause-kid-to-commit-suicide statistics... repeatedly... and school was a horrid thing for him. For both of us, it started because the schools couldn't keep up with our high IQs and ADHD, we burned out, lost our love of learning and it destroyed our social skills.

He was forced to stay in his age grade to get him 'socialized,' but he had so little in common with kids his own age, he never did. He suffered in social situations and most of it was due to being forced through public schools.

For me, I made friends with someone who another girl hated and as such, she started a nasty rumor that got me ostracized and bullied... starting in 7th grade through the entire rest of my school career. She got to know me in 10th grade and told me and apologized, but the damage was done. I'd already been hospitalized once at that point for attempted suicide.

The kind of 'socialization' that goes on in public school is one of the main reasons that we ARE homeschooling. We don't want our children exposed to that garbage.

But, of course, that's just anecdotal. Just because two very intelligent hyperactive kids had such a horrid time, doesn't mean that they all will, obviously. But I've seen it happen enough (not just DH and I).

Xakana
by on May. 21, 2011 at 11:27 PM


Quoting acornmama:


Quoting acornmama:


Quoting Kenre:

DH literally danced around the house Monkey's first day of school and said the best thing is that Monkey was gone out of his hair.

Whoa. Red flag there, it sounds like your DH has issues running far deeper than wanting Monkey socialized (funny, that was my mom's nickname for me as a kid, lol). It doesn't sound like he has Monkey's best interests at heart, but only his own 'freedom.'

katzmeow726
by on May. 21, 2011 at 11:33 PM
Truthfully, it's the personal stories like yours that are among our many reasons for home schooling. Dh and I bothe faced bullying. And the schools here, public AND private are seeing a huge rise in violence. We aren't going to shelter our kids by any means, but we are going to filter out as much of the undesireable parts of education as we can.

Quoting Xakana:

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this. DH and I both agreed to homeschool becuase I was almost one of those schools-cause-kid-to-commit-suicide statistics... repeatedly... and school was a horrid thing for him. For both of us, it started because the schools couldn't keep up with our high IQs and ADHD, we burned out, lost our love of learning and it destroyed our social skills.


He was forced to stay in his age grade to get him 'socialized,' but he had so little in common with kids his own age, he never did. He suffered in social situations and most of it was due to being forced through public schools.


For me, I made friends with someone who another girl hated and as such, she started a nasty rumor that got me ostracized and bullied... starting in 7th grade through the entire rest of my school career. She got to know me in 10th grade and told me and apologized, but the damage was done. I'd already been hospitalized once at that point for attempted suicide.


The kind of 'socialization' that goes on in public school is one of the main reasons that we ARE homeschooling. We don't want our children exposed to that garbage.


But, of course, that's just anecdotal. Just because two very intelligent hyperactive kids had such a horrid time, doesn't mean that they all will, obviously. But I've seen it happen enough (not just DH and I).

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Kenre
by on May. 24, 2011 at 1:24 PM
I want to thank everyone for their answers. DH is still against it. His reasons are: DH likes the break during the day, it's free child care, it will make our kids stronger (said that kids need to be bullied so they can make it in the real world), homeschooling will make the kids socially inept and stupid, and I don't have the qualifications like the teachers to teach our special needs kids. He said that he doesn't like the education of public school, but he hates homeschool even more.

I pointed out that those "qualified and smarter than me" teachers didn't even realize cream couldn't be given to a child who has a milk allergy. That Monkey refuses to do academics with these teachers and they now think his testing was a fluke. I also noted that we don't have a clue what he does all day.

Anyway, I am going to work on Monkey's schooling this summer. I will show DH that I am more than qualified to teach my own kids.
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SimplySonita
by on May. 24, 2011 at 1:45 PM

Does your husband let people bully him?

I can tell you, as I am being bullied right now as an adult (stlaked and threatened) I'm not just sitting back and taking it, PS did nothing to prepare me for this!

http://www.nheri.org/ has lots of stats you can share with him.

Also, maybe find a local homeschool group and have some homeschooled kids over, is there a local co-op you could join for 'socialization' if hubby is concerned with that? There are bullies in co-ops (Read kickbuttmamas thread on co-ops!)

Good luck.

Sonita-Homeschooling mama to Ephram (7) & Malachi (4)


 



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