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What do you do with a constant rebellious child?

Posted by on Jul. 18, 2011 at 7:47 PM
  • 36 Replies

ok...I have 3 kids..the girls are ok but my son is so mouthy..he thinks curse words are stupid and shut up..he has such a hot temper...He is ALWAYS pushing the boundaries..He is fearless and 9.  He whines all  the time.  Yet, when we go out in public they always say he is so polite.  I've been grieving with this process..he just seems like a bully..and then the other times he is so soft and sweet like mom let me message your feet...I'm struggling.

 

I'm not making any light of his behaivor but I do have a direct link that I can see with his bowel movements..I had a lot of radiation when he was in my stomach ..so I think of cancer alot and the possibility with him..He takes sometimes a week to make a bowel moment or more..I have gone to the doctors and they have just given him a laxative..I have loaded him up on veggies but he just won't go/..he has MASSIVE bowel moments literally the size of softballs..they call it something....after he goes to the bathroom..he really is nice for the first 3 days after he goes..then he is in a sour mood..still it is unacceptable.  I have read the book have a newkid by Friday.  I don't beat my child ..I have given him a quick swat on the but however it doesn't really do anything..I think positive peer pressure helps..he seems to be HIGHLY sensitive with me sharing his story with others..so that is something I use..I appreciate all the feed back..but some children are bend in different directions..we can't put kids in a box and say this is the way they are...they are not cookie cutter kids however I do like hearing others experiences and gleaning from them..thanks so much for your feedback.

by on Jul. 18, 2011 at 7:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyto2gr8ones
by on Jul. 18, 2011 at 8:03 PM

 I'll be interested in the reponses as well.  My boy has some attitude problems too, mostly being disrespectful though I'm sure he don't see it that way.  Maybe it has something to do w/the fact they are male?

__Heather__
by on Jul. 18, 2011 at 8:31 PM

You HAVE to make them respect you.  If they are bad at this age, imagine what will happen as teenagers.  You should set boundaries and impose them.  When they step over the acceptable line, there are consequences.  The consequences are different for each child.  Mine will have time out to think about his behavior and apologize.  If this is not effective I take away privileges.  If none of this works I would take everything he owns out of his bedroom except a mattress and pillow and he could earn back his belongings and privileges by being obedient.  I'm kind of mean (strict)...but then again my little man has a healthy fear/respect for me.

Wife to Nick - May 7. 2000

Homeschooling Noah (7) 2nd Grade

BJU Bible Truths, Reading, English, Spelling, Math, Handwriting, Heritage Studies, Apologia Astronomy, Teaching Art to Children, Ready to Read Music, reading mounds of books and classical literature

Plans for this year: Swimming, Soccer, Cub Scouts

Boobah
by Nikki :) on Jul. 19, 2011 at 8:58 AM
I wish I knew. How do you make them respect you? I have tried... Lol
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Boobah
by Nikki :) on Jul. 19, 2011 at 8:59 AM
I have to say mine aren't seriously rebellious. Maybe just distracted easily. Idk.
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romacox
by Silver Member on Jul. 19, 2011 at 9:10 AM

There can be many reasons for this.  My grandson was very kind and compationate until he ate sugar which caused uncontrolable temper tantrums.  For some children it is red food coloring,  others gluten found in wheat producte...the list of alergies goes on.

However the most likely cause is that he is of a different personality type than yous. Understanding the different personalities  helped me tremendiously in the way I deal with  children, spouse, co-workers, ext.. Not understanding different personality types was found to be one of the major causes of conflict in families.

The NF and SJ personalities are more likely to co-operate with parents.  However, the SP and the NT have other priorities.  The SP is said to be the most difficult one to raise for most parents.  However if we help them retain and learn to manage their personality traits, they are among the most successful in adult hood.  Patton and Churchill were SPs.  The following video talks about the this personality.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-rdH59bVTY&feature=player_embedded

bren_darlene
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2011 at 9:15 AM

 Totally agree with Heather.  My boys are all grown now (ages 31 down to 17) but I cannot remember one time that they treated me with anything but respect. Even now I love how since they are grown they want to take care of me and how they show me how much they love me.  When they were growing up I was a "strict" mom in the fact that when I said something that was how it was. They were never allowed to try and talk me out of something, beg whatever. Being that they were home educated helped as I was able to keep them from all the negative peer influences.  We spent all our time together as a family and I believe that helps too. But always stick to your guns no matter what. They will respect that. They don't respect someone that doesn't always do what she/he says. They may be happy for awhile that they got their way but in the long run they care more if you do what you believe is best.

MedicMommy
by on Jul. 19, 2011 at 10:06 AM

I'm just kinda sitting this one out, but insanely curious in responses

One thing I want to say, we are really pushing for DS to behave out of respect and not fear. Beyond that, I have nothing. Since I've been home and less stressed (HA!) it's been a little easier,but we have days

One thing...I don't want him to yell. So the new rule is no yelling in the house...and that includes me. If he yells, he gets time out. If I yell, I get time out (and I usualyl need it)

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http://mommatoafireboy.blogspot.com/

Feel free to throw coffee at me if I'm grumpy :)

Melissa6705
by on Jul. 19, 2011 at 10:24 AM
My brother had anger issues and when he would start getting mad, my parents made him sit on his bed. He could yell hit his pillow whatever and then had to get up but any so called curse words got soap in his mouth
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luvthesoap
by on Jul. 19, 2011 at 6:04 PM

If he can be good out in public, and not at home, he's trying to push your buttons. I'm old school. I would spank him.

Betty in KY

bren_darlene
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2011 at 6:33 PM

 Me too.  My children knew that if they misbehaved they would get punished so they just hardly ever did. They knew Mom was good to her word. lol


Quoting luvthesoap:

If he can be good out in public, and not at home, he's trying to push your buttons. I'm old school. I would spank him.

Betty in KY


 I am a stay at home,  home educating, non-vaxingmother to many children :)  And a very happy wife to a wonderful man!!!

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