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What do you do with a constant rebellious child?

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ok...I have 3 kids..the girls are ok but my son is so mouthy..he thinks curse words are stupid and shut up..he has such a hot temper...He is ALWAYS pushing the boundaries..He is fearless and 9.  He whines all  the time.  Yet, when we go out in public they always say he is so polite.  I've been grieving with this process..he just seems like a bully..and then the other times he is so soft and sweet like mom let me message your feet...I'm struggling.

 

I'm not making any light of his behaivor but I do have a direct link that I can see with his bowel movements..I had a lot of radiation when he was in my stomach ..so I think of cancer alot and the possibility with him..He takes sometimes a week to make a bowel moment or more..I have gone to the doctors and they have just given him a laxative..I have loaded him up on veggies but he just won't go/..he has MASSIVE bowel moments literally the size of softballs..they call it something....after he goes to the bathroom..he really is nice for the first 3 days after he goes..then he is in a sour mood..still it is unacceptable.  I have read the book have a newkid by Friday.  I don't beat my child ..I have given him a quick swat on the but however it doesn't really do anything..I think positive peer pressure helps..he seems to be HIGHLY sensitive with me sharing his story with others..so that is something I use..I appreciate all the feed back..but some children are bend in different directions..we can't put kids in a box and say this is the way they are...they are not cookie cutter kids however I do like hearing others experiences and gleaning from them..thanks so much for your feedback.

by on Jul. 18, 2011 at 7:47 PM
Replies (31-36):
SuprMom12042702
by on Jul. 30, 2011 at 1:52 PM

 Why is it that a post asking about parental advice turns straight to religion. The question wasn't WHAT CHURCH SHOULD I ATTEND? It was How do I help my hyper active 9 year old?
I have a 7 year old that is hilariously funny. He has a nack for sarcasm and can throw it with the best of them. But sometimes he takes it a little too far and I have to tell him that sometimes he just needs to shutup. And since Daddy started back to work, he has tried to step up and help out, but instead its driving me crazy. LOL So what I have done is sat down with him and talked to him about everything. He is smart and understands exactly what I am saying and he also knows that if he acts out or does something that he isn't suppose to do, he will get a spanking.
Oh and just for the record, spankings aren't abuse. Spankings are a swat or two across the butt. Abuse is beating your child until they can't walk.
Back to the issue at hand. For your son, I think an elimination diet would work wonders. I am  not sure what your average daily meals consist of, but cutting out fast food, sodas and sweets will probably start helping. It usually takes two to three weeks for chemicals to completely leave the body. Also look at the stuff you are eating/drinking and if anything contains red dye 40 try cutting back on that. Also try mapping out your days with him. He gets up at 8am, eats breakfast at 830, bath at 915, etc. Maybe knowing what is going to happen every day will help him feel more secure. He is going through a lot mentally and phsyically and is probably having difficulties dealing with it and not knowing how to voice it.
If daddy is present {I am not saying that he isn't, but you never know these days lol} maybe your son needs some father son time. Go watch a ball game or something and let daddy listen to everything son is saying. Son is more than likely going to open up to a man, before he would you, so if anything is bothering him, he might tell daddy.
If all else fails, just stick to whatever bullshit average the previous poster put on here and beat your kid. It seems like 99%of all parents do that anyway. So maybe you need to also {j/k heavy sarcasm here lol}

DrJChappell
by on Jul. 31, 2011 at 7:41 PM

I agree with previous posters. You have to demand respect. They WILL treat you respectfully or they will get in trouble for it. How you let him treat you now mirrors how he will treat the women in his future. I ask for courtesy. Please, thank you, excuse me, may I be excused from the table, holding doors for women, the elderly and veterans. Giving them these boundaries helps them feel secure. I have to remind them sometimes, but they get it most of time.

SimplySonita
by on Aug. 1, 2011 at 12:23 AM

If you are religious, whatever your religion, your religious views will color and shape your opinions and views and how you handle situations and what advice you give others.

However, this can be done respectfully. Even if the religious views of the 2 people differ.

Some kids are harder to handle than others. What works for one child, won't work for another. Not just my child and your child, but even 2 children from the same family. I know I handle my 2 sons differently becasue they are different!

Kids LOVE to test their boundries. Kids off all ages, even adults! LOL

When they are 2 it's just tellign you no or trying again to pull your CDs off the shelf after they have been toldnot to touch them 400 times already. Older kids do it too. They are trying to find thier place int eh world, trying to grow up and trying to find a way to do so.

Take the curse words for example, some kids, if you ignore them, will say them no more, others if you ignore it, will use them all the more.

The 9one thing I do know, despiteany age or behavior is consistancy and consequences are key to curbing bad behavior. What those conswquences are with vary for each child, but consistancyis my problem. I'm a busy homeschool mom, sometimes I'm too tired to be consistant! LOL And that's my fault, I know. I find it is the main problem for a lot of parents (by their own addmission)


 

misselphaba
by Bronze Member on Aug. 1, 2011 at 2:24 AM

My 7 year old is like that too.  BUT, his timing is often not good.  We tell him that his timing is/was inappropriate.  It's so hard for him to understand when it's okay to be sarcastic and when it's not.  lol  Poor guy. 

Quoting SuprMom12042702:

 Why is it that a post asking about parental advice turns straight to religion. The question wasn't WHAT CHURCH SHOULD I ATTEND? It was How do I help my hyper active 9 year old?
I have a 7 year old that is hilariously funny. He has a nack for sarcasm and can throw it with the best of them. But sometimes he takes it a little too far and I have to tell him that sometimes he just needs to shutup. And since Daddy started back to work, he has tried to step up and help out, but instead its driving me crazy. LOL So what I have done is sat down with him and talked to him about everything. He is smart and understands exactly what I am saying and he also knows that if he acts out or does something that he isn't suppose to do, he will get a spanking.
Oh and just for the record, spankings aren't abuse. Spankings are a swat or two across the butt. Abuse is beating your child until they can't walk.
Back to the issue at hand. For your son, I think an elimination diet would work wonders. I am  not sure what your average daily meals consist of, but cutting out fast food, sodas and sweets will probably start helping. It usually takes two to three weeks for chemicals to completely leave the body. Also look at the stuff you are eating/drinking and if anything contains red dye 40 try cutting back on that. Also try mapping out your days with him. He gets up at 8am, eats breakfast at 830, bath at 915, etc. Maybe knowing what is going to happen every day will help him feel more secure. He is going through a lot mentally and phsyically and is probably having difficulties dealing with it and not knowing how to voice it.
If daddy is present {I am not saying that he isn't, but you never know these days lol} maybe your son needs some father son time. Go watch a ball game or something and let daddy listen to everything son is saying. Son is more than likely going to open up to a man, before he would you, so if anything is bothering him, he might tell daddy.
If all else fails, just stick to whatever bullshit average the previous poster put on here and beat your kid. It seems like 99%of all parents do that anyway. So maybe you need to also {j/k heavy sarcasm here lol}


biblewomen
by on Aug. 2, 2011 at 2:38 PM

I have that book..it simply following through with what you say..he is stubborn.

biblewomen
by on Aug. 2, 2011 at 2:55 PM

I'm not making any light of his behaivor but I do have a direct link that I can see with his bowel movements..I had a lot of radiation when he was in my stomach ..so I think of cancer alot and the possibility with him..He takes sometimes a week to make a bowel moment or more..I have gone to the doctors and they have just given him a laxative..I have loaded him up on veggies but he just won't go/..he has MASSIVE bowel moments literally the size of softballs..they call it something....after he goes to the bathroom..he really is nice for the first 3 days after he goes..then he is in a sour mood..still it is unacceptable.  I have read the book have a newkid by Friday.  I don't beat my child ..I have given him a quick swat on the but however it doesn't really do anything..I think positive peer pressure helps..he seems to be HIGHLY sensitive with me sharing his story with others..so that is something I use..I appreciate all the feed back..but some children are bend in different directions..we can't put kids in a box and say this is the way they are...they are not cookie cutter kids however I do like hearing others experiences and gleaning from them..thanks so much for your feedback.

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