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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

nay sayers?

Posted by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 7:41 PM
  • 15 Replies

I am homeschooling this year, and this may be my only year :( My husband said the kids must attend the public school district. We have talkjed and talked about it He attended a homeschooling conference with me. Most of my friends homeschool their children, and still he says absolutely NOT. His parents don't think we should homeschool either. Now, I was wondering should I just leave it between my husband and I and not even show his inlaws about homeschooling, or should I give them more information and let them know what homeschooling really is about? There are several books I want to read, and there are many recourses out there as well. The problem is that I don't like confrontation. I'm horrible at it, and my inlaws are very set in their ways and stubborn (as am i, I guess). The only thing I hope for is that they may possible see the benefits in doing so, and be supportive (although it seems like a long shot).


<3 Julia: wife of Drew, mom of Damien and Gavin, baby Harley 2/09-3/09, Mason 9-19-2010  Isaiah 66:10-13

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 7:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
usmom3
by BJ on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:09 PM

Let me tell you my hubby was not all for homeschooling when I 1st told him about it but I showed him all the information that I gathered & he agreed to try! We have been at it now for over 5 years & over that time we have become unschoolers & see everyday that our children are bright, imaginative & inquisitive. You need to show him why it is the right thing for them show him how much happier they are & how they are different then school children! & if he says anything about socialisation tell him to go watch kids that go to public school & then come back & tell you what if anything he sees that he wants your children to emulate, because they will learn it all & it is all bad.

Precious333
by Silver Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:15 PM


Quoting usmom3:

Let me tell you my hubby was not all for homeschooling when I 1st told him about it but I showed him all the information that I gathered & he agreed to try! We have been at it now for over 5 years & over that time we have become unschoolers & see everyday that our children are bright, imaginative & inquisitive. You need to show him why it is the right thing for them show him how much happier they are & how they are different then school children! & if he says anything about socialisation tell him to go watch kids that go to public school & then come back & tell you what if anything he sees that he wants your children to emulate, because they will learn it all & it is all bad.

yay, ist so frustrating! My husband and I both went to public schools. He did horrible in school (he said that was because he chose to). He gave into peer pressure etc. (said thats because he chose to as well). And yet he still wants that for our kids! I have some books I plan on getting. I feel desperate but I feel like nothing is working, not even all the information I can accumulate I feel like he will never say ok.  NMy husband is a stubborn one!


<3 Julia: wife of Drew, mom of Damien and Gavin, baby Harley 2/09-3/09, Mason 9-19-2010  Isaiah 66:10-13

oredeb
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:24 PM

 well it should be between you and your husband, no inlaw or even your parents. does he listen and do what they say?? if so maybe then you should show them. will be praying for you

Precious333
by Silver Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:27 PM


Quoting oredeb:

 well it should be between you and your husband, no inlaw or even your parents. does he listen and do what they say?? if so maybe then you should show them. will be praying for you


yeah, its definitely NOT their decision, but he does respect their opinion and seems to listen to them more than me.


<3 Julia: wife of Drew, mom of Damien and Gavin, baby Harley 2/09-3/09, Mason 9-19-2010  Isaiah 66:10-13

usmom3
by BJ on Sep. 15, 2011 at 9:50 PM

 

Quoting Precious333:

 

Quoting usmom3:

Let me tell you my hubby was not all for homeschooling when I 1st told him about it but I showed him all the information that I gathered & he agreed to try! We have been at it now for over 5 years & over that time we have become unschoolers & see everyday that our children are bright, imaginative & inquisitive. You need to show him why it is the right thing for them show him how much happier they are & how they are different then school children! & if he says anything about socialisation tell him to go watch kids that go to public school & then come back & tell you what if anything he sees that he wants your children to emulate, because they will learn it all & it is all bad.

yay, ist so frustrating! My husband and I both went to public schools. He did horrible in school (he said that was because he chose to). He gave into peer pressure etc. (said thats because he chose to as well). And yet he still wants that for our kids! I have some books I plan on getting. I feel desperate but I feel like nothing is working, not even all the information I can accumulate I feel like he will never say ok.  NMy husband is a stubborn one!

 Then I would use everything I could find to show him that it was the school & not him that failed him! If I where you I would not stop until I convinced him! As far as the in-laws if you think convincing them is going to help convince him then show them the same things you show him, tell them the same things you tell him & let them see that the children are growing , learning & thriving in a way that will never be in the school system. (Can you tell I am passionate about this)

FlyHippie
by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 11:22 AM

With my husband, who was also against it, what I said was "ok, give me 6 weeks. If he is the same or worse than he was in public school...yes, even THE SAME....then we'll send him back. But if regards to social, educational, confidence, etc...if I beat them, let me do it." My husband was ok with that, although he was sad DS would miss six weeks of school...LOL

After two weeks, he came to me and said "I had NO IDEA what you could do with him...no clue...as far as I'm concerned, I never want him to go back to public school..." It took two weeks.

So....i know yours is little, but call the school, get the schedule, curriculum, what they're doing and teaching and hoping for...how much they'll be testing, etc. And then lay out YOUR plans for first grade, etc. Be on the same side. You're both trying to do what's best for the child...so literally FIND OUT. And then present your evidence!

mem82
by Platinum Member on Sep. 16, 2011 at 11:48 AM

Ask your hubby why exactly he doesn't want you to homeschool. Make sure he gives you specifics and then set about proving him wrong. lol Join clubs, keep up with the local district, whatever he is worried about. Then stay quiet until after Christmas and then start mentioning how much fun the kids are having, how much they are learning and let the proof be in the pudding. 8)

tuffymama
by Bronze Member on Sep. 16, 2011 at 11:48 AM

I don't think you're going to change your ILs' minds, and frankly, it is none of their business how you raise YOUR children. I'm lucky that DP defers to me AS THE MOTHER for major childrearing decisions like HSing. That is how it should be. He earns the major wage, he determines where we ultimately live, and we make our basic schedule around his work. However, I make medical, education, feeding and clothing decisions for LO. Don't get me wrong; DP and I have differences of opinion and we occasionally need to compromise. If I decided to put LO in public school, DP would have a problem with that, and were I to refuse to HS, private school would be his choice.

I don't care for confrontation, but when it comes to my children, I will take on anyone.

tuffymama
by Bronze Member on Sep. 16, 2011 at 11:51 AM

This is great advice!

Quoting FlyHippie:

With my husband, who was also against it, what I said was "ok, give me 6 weeks. If he is the same or worse than he was in public school...yes, even THE SAME....then we'll send him back. But if regards to social, educational, confidence, etc...if I beat them, let me do it." My husband was ok with that, although he was sad DS would miss six weeks of school...LOL

After two weeks, he came to me and said "I had NO IDEA what you could do with him...no clue...as far as I'm concerned, I never want him to go back to public school..." It took two weeks.

So....i know yours is little, but call the school, get the schedule, curriculum, what they're doing and teaching and hoping for...how much they'll be testing, etc. And then lay out YOUR plans for first grade, etc. Be on the same side. You're both trying to do what's best for the child...so literally FIND OUT. And then present your evidence!


Precious333
by Silver Member on Sep. 16, 2011 at 12:56 PM


Quoting FlyHippie:

With my husband, who was also against it, what I said was "ok, give me 6 weeks. If he is the same or worse than he was in public school...yes, even THE SAME....then we'll send him back. But if regards to social, educational, confidence, etc...if I beat them, let me do it." My husband was ok with that, although he was sad DS would miss six weeks of school...LOL

After two weeks, he came to me and said "I had NO IDEA what you could do with him...no clue...as far as I'm concerned, I never want him to go back to public school..." It took two weeks.

So....i know yours is little, but call the school, get the schedule, curriculum, what they're doing and teaching and hoping for...how much they'll be testing, etc. And then lay out YOUR plans for first grade, etc. Be on the same side. You're both trying to do what's best for the child...so literally FIND OUT. And then present your evidence!

thanks :) He is giving me this year to homeschool (kindergarten year). I'm hoping by the end of it he will see, but I'm struggling because he is so stubborn.


<3 Julia: wife of Drew, mom of Damien and Gavin, baby Harley 2/09-3/09, Mason 9-19-2010  Isaiah 66:10-13

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