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Hard Decisions

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 10:35 PM
  • 6 Replies
I have been dealing with a pretty severe bout of depression for the past month. My husband is in the military and away, but in a month we will be moving to be with him. I am seriously considering enrolling our oldest (she's 5) in public school. I know that I haven't kept up with her academic needs (she is gifted, so she's beyond the usual kindergarten stuff, otherwise keeping her challenged and engaged wouldn't be an issue). The area we will be in has good public schools and a great program for advanced kids with lots of flexibility. This has not been easy for me- I have always intended to homeschool, even before having kids. I feel guilty, but I don't want her to fall behind because of my issues (due to dh's job he isn't really able to help contribute much). Any advice would be appreciated.
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by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 10:35 PM
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by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 11:12 PM

 well what about putting her in the next grade level work?

what is your state law for school age ? if its 6 you dont really need to do anything right now.

also just do a bit of unschooling while your in the moving mode, let her learn about wht she'd like to do,

can she read? get her a bunch of books and let her read till your all moved and settled

packing and moving is educational also! so your still schooling!

or just take a break till after you get settled

remember you homeschool! no time schedule, you decide what to do!

by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 11:39 PM

Do what you can for the next month. I've been in a similar place (depressed, husband away for the military--I hadn't planned on moving and decided to quit my job and move). If homeschooling is really what you have always wanted to do, then stick with it at least until after you move. This will do two things. First, it will keep her from being introduced to a classroom right before she moves, and second, it will give you a chance to see how things change with you after you are close to your husband again. I know from experience how excellent that sort of medicine can be! As was pointed out the process of packing (or getting ready for packers), moving, traveling, and exploring new places is educational. Don't worry about doing formal work with her at this point, especially if she's already reading on her own. Have her read books to you while you do other things, or even read to a pet, if you have one. If you can get her to read about various non-fiction subjects, she'll be schooling herself. For math, you can give her oral problems and have her answer. This can be done any time of day, anywhere. Even if formal 'sit-down' lessons are what you're more comfortable with, it sounds as though that needs to wait until after the move. Once you move, and you give some time to settle in (remember that if you guys have been separated for a while, it will take a bit of time for all of you to get used to each other seems like something that ought to be easy, but I know, also from experience, that it is not always very easy). In addition, depending upon what your husband is doing and how much free time he has, he may also be able to step in and help some with the homeschooling while you help sort through what's making you depressed). Good luck, and stay positive. The move will change a lot, so save decisions like this for after it happens.

Another thing I nearly forgot...when you do start to make that decision, think about how enrolling her into a school will affect her and her educational progress/level. Will she be allowed to test into a higher grade if she is ready for that. If she is not ready in some areas for a higher grade, but has learned the majority of everything, she will have to repeat things she knows already and will likely be bored. Instead of being able to move at her own pace, with one-on-one teaching, and the ability to learn more advanced topics in specific areas, she will be confined to the speed that her school allows. Even in a private school, unless they focus heavily on teaching a child at their individual level instead of age-grouped grade level, she will be able to move only as quickly as her teacher is able to move (which depends upon other students in her class). If she is advanced, public school may not be the place for her, and it may be hard to find an appropriate and affordable private school.

by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2011 at 11:00 AM

*hugs* I hope you feel better. I agree with everything stated above, give it sometime. Kids her age will bounce back academically extremely fast.

by on Oct. 4, 2011 at 11:29 AM
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No matter what type of education you choose for your daughter you can still be a part of it.  If you feel sticking with homeschool is what you want then do so but work slowly in a higher level of work, but remember it's not like there's a shame in you choosing something other them homeschooling.

So if you choose public school enroll her in that and be the involved parent that volunteers, helps with her homework, talks about what she did and read with her every evening.

The most important thing in any family unit is what's best for everybody that includes momma too.  If you feel public school is best go with that and don't beat yourself up, if you decide to stick with homeschool try to get into groups maybe to help and find your own tricks to push both of you along.

I wish both you and your eldest a happy year no matter what you choose :-)

by on Oct. 4, 2011 at 1:40 PM

First of all, if she's only 5 and advanced for her age, you can comfortably unschool her for the time being.  We blew off Kindergarten for our oldest because he was advanced and we had preemie twins in the house who needed constant monitoring (feeding every 40 min, etc).  It was just too much to homeschool the oldest.  He already could read (loved MAGIC TREEHOUSE books) and could add and subtract.  Get some computer games such as Reader Rabbit Reading, Math, and Clifford Phonics, etc  (on and let her homeschool herself.  Easy!  Moving, reuniting with Daddy, and going to a new school all at the same time might do more harm than good.  Ease into your new situation slowly at a pace comfortable for all!

by on Oct. 4, 2011 at 1:47 PM

Secondly (LOL) , take care of yourself!!!  See a dr.  Get some anti-depressants!!  Exercise to lift your mood!!  Eat healthy!! Fast foods and junk foods weigh you down physically and emotionally!   Treat yourself to a new hairdo - , maybe some pretty lingerie.  Work at thinking positive thoughts - count your blessings!  Turn to God!!!  I've been where you are.  This too shall pass!! Big HUG!!

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