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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Pulling my son out of public school soon; parent teacher conference coming up (crossposted with other groups)

Posted by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 2:21 PM
  • 21 Replies

I want to hear advice and opinion.... I'm currently homeschooling my Kindergartner. She's not yet 5, so I haven't yet had to deal with Letters of Intent and such for her. However, my 2nd grade son is still in public school. My husband and I had originally decided that he would continue attending until Christmas break. But I really just want to pull him out ASAP. My husband is worried that I'm not ready to start homeschooling him too. I technically have enough materials for us to start...and I'm in the process of searching for and buying the curriculum materials I want for him. So, I want to go ahead and pull him out really soon. Like, part of me wants to show up at Parent/Teacher Conference on Friday and let them know that he won't be back the following week. Does that sound like a recipe for disaster? Or like a good idea? Technically, this is also an IEP meeting. My son has had an IEP for speech, but the things they are focusing on in speech right now are ridiculous. (For example, the 'th' sound when he has one missing and one loose front tooth...) I don't plan on keeping him in any of their services after this point, even if we weren't going to be homeschooling. So at this meeting will be his regular teacher, his speech teacher, and the principle.

Do people typically tell the teacher? Or just the Superintendent? If I do this, I will plan to submit the necessary materials at the Superintendent's office prior to the meeting.

Of course, I have to convince my husband that I'm ready, and get him on board with this happening so suddenly.

Please, any tips or advice would be really appreciated. Thanks in advance!

by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 2:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mem82
by Platinum Member on Nov. 2, 2011 at 3:00 PM
2 moms liked this

You usually just tell the Super but it would be common courtesy to tell the teacher, I guess, since you will be seeing her. LOL

He need some time to deschool before diving right into homeschooling so make sure to work that into your schedule. Plus that would give you plenty of time to get a game plan together, also. Good luck!

oredeb
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 5:05 PM
1 mom liked this

 i dont know who you  tell that your taking your child out of school, but i would keep it low key, and not tell the teacher at the iep meeting, only reason i can give is would be safer not to let anyone else know if you dont have to. i know im way to cautious!

noraa21
by Member on Nov. 2, 2011 at 7:05 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting oredeb:

 i dont know who you  tell that your taking your child out of school, but i would keep it low key, and not tell the teacher at the iep meeting, only reason i can give is would be safer not to let anyone else know if you dont have to. i know im way to cautious!

 I agree, I told my DS IEP team, and they all got mad at me, gave me the big socialization lecture, how is he going to improve, etc.  The only thing he was getting as far as services went was social skills, and I just took him to Easter Seals for that, after I pulled him out of school. lf later you son needs therapy, you can always find help that doesn't have to come from the school. 

Venanya
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 7:52 PM
3 moms liked this


Quoting noraa21:

 

Quoting oredeb:

 i dont know who you  tell that your taking your child out of school, but i would keep it low key, and not tell the teacher at the iep meeting, only reason i can give is would be safer not to let anyone else know if you dont have to. i know im way to cautious!

 I agree, I told my DS IEP team, and they all got mad at me, gave me the big socialization lecture, how is he going to improve, etc.  The only thing he was getting as far as services went was social skills, and I just took him to Easter Seals for that, after I pulled him out of school. lf later you son needs therapy, you can always find help that doesn't have to come from the school. 

The first time I wanted to pull my son out, the teacher, principal, etc. convinced me he needed therapy instead and why homeschooling him would be a bad idea. They made me feel inferior in every way possible. I ended up waiting five LONG years before I actually did what my gut told me was right because I didn't have enough confidence in myself. Keeping him in school was a disservice to him. I would avoid telling them until after you have the paperwork in. Otherwise, you are just asking for a headache.

amy_dawn
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 9:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you for the warnings. Our paperwork is fairly straightforward and simple. I plan to drop everything off at the Super.'s office prior to the start of this meeting. So it will be done. However, me telling them will be a courtesy to them. And it will allow us to remove all of Kaleb's belongings from the classroom and not have to make a trip back there another day to do so.

My husband and I spoke about this tonight and he agreed that we should pull him out as soon as possible. He was on board when I said that I wanted Friday to be his last day.

I will have my "talking points" down before I go anywhere on Friday. I do appreciate that you guys have let me know about your trouble, so that I can be better prepared. My son is a Cub Scout, and therefore receives plenty of socialization with boys his own age. We will also be involved with local homeschooling groups. I understand that won't satisfy their definition of 'socialization', and that's perfectly fine. In regards to the speech issue, if they still honestly believe he needs services, I will take him for an evaluation at the private speech therapist we used before. They are the ones who truly helped my son when he needed it anyway...they are the ones who taught him how to make his sounds correctly so that he could be understood, and who eventually graduated him because he was so close to being on par with his peers that they thought the small amount of time he was getting through the school would be plenty. If he's not on par with his peers well enough, then we'll take care of it (our insurance covers it, so the cost is of no concern).

I really do appreciate your responses. I guess my only question left is, how do I approach the topic in the meeting? They will have no idea whatsoever that it's coming, and throwing it out at the beginning is probably going to make them more defensive. However, I don't want to let the meeting go on and get bogged down in stuff that won't matter anymore. If I remember the way these things go from past meetings, it typically starts off with them asking me if I have any concerns. This seems like an opportune time to introduce to them the idea that he will be homeschooled. I need to figure out how to do this gently, I think, because I am interested in what his teachers have to say about him, where he needs improvement, etc.., because, ultimately, it will be of help to me at home. I think, anyway...if for no other reason than to understand "where" he was at prior to this to make sure there is no big issue that we need to work on. And, if he truly does still need speech, then understanding why they believe so will help the private speech therapist. I do hope that I can do this without them feeling the need to get defensive; but I will make sure I am prepared for the liklihood that they will.

jakesgal88
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 11:12 PM

I think I would mention it towards the end of the meeting. Listen to their advice, ask questions and then thank them and tell them that you feel that it will be best for your child to be homeschooled. Although, if you can approach it towards the beginning maybe they can give you even more incite from a teacher's point of view. Do not worry about hurting feelings or anything like that. I felt that way right before pulling my boys out of school (we just did it this week. We were at a new public school for one week, it was a city school and we had previously been at a country school. The k-5 kids behaved like highschoolers it was terrible.). Anyways, I eventually started thinking that they were my children and mothers usually know best and as long as you are an educated person why not teach your children? The public schools make it seem as if they own your children, it's kind of ridiculous. Hope you find the best way to approach it and do not meet a lot of resistance. There will always be naysayers in everything that we do, but its always nice to prove them wrong. Good luck!

Liamoondancer
by Member on Nov. 3, 2011 at 8:29 AM
1 mom liked this

Keep in mind that you do NOT need to defend or explain your decision!  He is your child.   Thank them for all that they have done for the child and cut the meeting short before it turns negative and allows them to gang up on you(!!!) and criticize your decision and your competence!!  Don't let them shake you !  Frankly, I would cancel the meeting and send them a note informing them of your decision  and , again, thanking them!!      I don't think anything good can come of going to face the 3 of them!!!!

mem82
by Platinum Member on Nov. 3, 2011 at 9:28 AM

I agree, don't let them gang up on you. Their job is teaching and you are basically 'firing' them teaching your son, so of course, they are going to be a little offended by it. Don't waste the meeting doing that. Try the honey and sugar route. Tell them how good of job you think they did and you'd like some insight into your son's strengths and weaknesses. They might be able to give you a place to start with him. 8)

Quoting Liamoondancer:

Keep in mind that you do NOT need to defend or explain your decision!  He is your child.   Thank them for all that they have done for the child and cut the meeting short before it turns negative and allows them to gang up on you(!!!) and criticize your decision and your competence!!  Don't let them shake you !  Frankly, I would cancel the meeting and send them a note informing them of your decision  and , again, thanking them!!      I don't think anything good can come of going to face the 3 of them!!!!


Danielle163
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 9:34 AM

 

Quoting Liamoondancer:

Keep in mind that you do NOT need to defend or explain your decision!  He is your child.   Thank them for all that they have done for the child and cut the meeting short before it turns negative and allows them to gang up on you(!!!) and criticize your decision and your competence!!  Don't let them shake you !  Frankly, I would cancel the meeting and send them a note informing them of your decision  and , again, thanking them!!      I don't think anything good can come of going to face the 3 of them!!!!

 I agree with Liamoondancer. I would just cancel the meeting. If you have already made the decision to hs, why waste your time going to a meeting when your son could be home playing and you could be scoping out curriculum--LOL Good luck to you.

oredeb
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 10:33 AM

 if its a one on one thing, (ive never been to one) you could thank the teacher for telling you how your son is doing and that it will be helpful since your going to be homeschooling him starting now.

Quoting amy_dawn:

Thank you for the warnings. Our paperwork is fairly straightforward and simple. I plan to drop everything off at the Super.'s office prior to the start of this meeting. So it will be done. However, me telling them will be a courtesy to them. And it will allow us to remove all of Kaleb's belongings from the classroom and not have to make a trip back there another day to do so.

My husband and I spoke about this tonight and he agreed that we should pull him out as soon as possible. He was on board when I said that I wanted Friday to be his last day.

I will have my "talking points" down before I go anywhere on Friday. I do appreciate that you guys have let me know about your trouble, so that I can be better prepared. My son is a Cub Scout, and therefore receives plenty of socialization with boys his own age. We will also be involved with local homeschooling groups. I understand that won't satisfy their definition of 'socialization', and that's perfectly fine. In regards to the speech issue, if they still honestly believe he needs services, I will take him for an evaluation at the private speech therapist we used before. They are the ones who truly helped my son when he needed it anyway...they are the ones who taught him how to make his sounds correctly so that he could be understood, and who eventually graduated him because he was so close to being on par with his peers that they thought the small amount of time he was getting through the school would be plenty. If he's not on par with his peers well enough, then we'll take care of it (our insurance covers it, so the cost is of no concern).

I really do appreciate your responses. I guess my only question left is, how do I approach the topic in the meeting? They will have no idea whatsoever that it's coming, and throwing it out at the beginning is probably going to make them more defensive. However, I don't want to let the meeting go on and get bogged down in stuff that won't matter anymore. If I remember the way these things go from past meetings, it typically starts off with them asking me if I have any concerns. This seems like an opportune time to introduce to them the idea that he will be homeschooled. I need to figure out how to do this gently, I think, because I am interested in what his teachers have to say about him, where he needs improvement, etc.., because, ultimately, it will be of help to me at home. I think, anyway...if for no other reason than to understand "where" he was at prior to this to make sure there is no big issue that we need to work on. And, if he truly does still need speech, then understanding why they believe so will help the private speech therapist. I do hope that I can do this without them feeling the need to get defensive; but I will make sure I am prepared for the liklihood that they will.

 

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