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Help! New to homeschool and need HELP!

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:55 AM
  • 13 Replies

My son is 10, pulled him out of public school long story short he begged and begged me to, and have been trying to homeschool for two months(he has been in public school k-3rd). He is impossible! Today for example....I asked him to read Isaiah 55:3, he complained that he was somewhere else and didn't want to do what I asked, I suggested he do as I asked and we will make time to explore what he was reading. Eyes rolling, sighing, he takes 10 min to find the verse, then mumbles through it, so I ask him to repeat it again and again until I can finally understand what he was saying...finally we get through the verse... I asked two questions to provoke some thought "why does God allow deafness"? and "Why don't we live in a perfect world"? All I got back was "I dunno I'm not God".  At this point we are 45 min into something that should have take maybe 10 min and his attitude is only getting worse.  I can't get through, we are doing Konos curriculum and it's like pulling teeth to get him to do ANYTHING! Today we were supposed to take apart a telephone and label the parts then read about Alexander Graham Bell and write a paper.... He doesn't want to do ANYTHING "it's stupid" "that's retarded"or my personal favorite after he has been given an assignment "WHAT! I HAVE TO DO ALL THAT" I feel like everything I get out of him is like pulling teeth all day I find myself dragging him through every lesson, experiment or anything we do, nothing is "easy" he fights me every stepof the way and contributes nothing to a discussion. He argues every point I try to make. Any work he does "complete" is crap, barely legible and far below his ability, so we have to re-do every assignment over and over....I can't keep battling this kid every day!

We have had talks about going back to public school and him needing to participate to make homeschooling work, he will be great the day after a "talk" then rapidly goes down hill, then comes the weekend and we recharge and begin the downward spiral and be wednesday are having the "talk"again

Somebody please put this into perspective for me!!!!!!


by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:55 AM
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by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:55 AM


by Bronze Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 12:30 PM

Frankly, it sounds fairly typical for a 10-year-old boy -- especially one who has struggled.  Most boys are simply not interested in discussing or thinking about the nature of good and evil -- or why G-d allows bad things to happen, etc.  At least not if Mom is asking the question as a formal "school work" question.  I'd suggest working on reenforcing the things he can do, and then, gradually increase.  If you want to discuss theology (which is important to discuss -- I'm not questioning that, just the approach) look for "teachable moments."  Wait until he notices something or is interested and THEN, casually, ask a leading question and then LISTEN.  Socratic method is all about listening, IMO.

You might try getting a copy of Andrew Pudewa's Teaching Boys and Other People Who Would Rather Be Building Forts All Day.  Boys need a different "touch".  Hang in there!  I got one up to college (U.C. Merced), two more boys to go, and one girl.  If I can do it, you can, too.

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 12:38 PM

I have the same problem, some days.  When that happens, I take a step back and see what she is interested in doing, and do that first, going back to do what needs to be done afterwards.  Some days nothing helps, other days we have no arguments about what we are doing.  I've been reworking our schedule every day to try and find something we can work with.

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 12:42 PM

Have you tried a praise chart with him? We use to have a chart for each child and every day they complete all necessary assignments, they get a sticker. Once the chart is complete, they get extra TV time, computer time and such. Now we use a program called Accountable Kids which handles everything from chores, school work, allowances, behavior. Its awesome!

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 12:43 PM

Thanks for the reply!

The example I gave was just an example, it doesn't matter what the topic it's like pulling teeth. I could take the kid to six flags and tell him we have to ride every ride and write down what he liked best about it and he would complain the whole time and make the trip miserable! I know you think I'm exaggerating but I'm not, he has no interest in ANYTHING!

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 12:55 PM

Tried everything there is no reward on this earth worth striving towards and there is no discipline he won't choose over minding me(he could care less if his TV, Xbox and anything else he likes is taken away). (ps its probably important to note that he doesn't have any "behavior problems" he is an intelligent, well spoken, sweet boy)

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:06 PM

 Did you allow a transition period (deschooling)  from public school to homeschool? 

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 3:49 PM

Quoting usmom3:

 Did you allow a transition period (deschooling)  from public school to homeschool? 

I believe so, for the first month we really didn't do anything besides reading and a little math (memorizing multiplication) then added more and more to our day, or at least tried to, we can't get through anything so as far as I'm concerned we are still "deschooling"

I dunno what I'm going to do with him, I'm giving it until Christmas but I have to see some sign by then to keep going. I'm emotionally drained and its leaving little left over for my other two children. Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply.

by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 8:31 AM
I was having issues with our dd with defience and attitude lately so started looking for a book to help me parent better. Found a great book called Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, How to Say No; its wonderful! Its help me understand why I parent the way I do and why she acts the way she does. Hope this helps!
by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 8:42 AM

 Have you considered going the computer-tutor route? (Time4Learning--all 4 subjects or Switched On Schoolhouse--4-5 subjects or Teaching Textbooks (math only) or ALEKS math, etc) I know some parents don't like teaching that way, but there are days (for me anyway with my DD who's 9 in Jan.) that if I'm removed from the situation as the "teacher", the learning goes much smoother.

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