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New to life it would seem

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 10:45 AM
  • 6 Replies

hello, my name is Tonya nd Im 44 and seems like I may just have been born because I have no idea what to do at htis point in my life. See my daughter who is 8 has recently been expelled from from school for two days for physically assaulting 3 teachers and her princeiple. this being the first time over ever showing aggression  i feel completely and utterly lost. Davie is her name and she was born 3 mo premature. she has over come all learning issues but we just cant get a handle on the social ones. She still struggles with seperations anx from me. clinginess with others bathroom issues and the like. she has recently displayed phyisical outbursts at school by assaulting three teachers and the principle. to the point that they expelled her for two days. she made up all kinds of lies about why. and I dont think Ive yet to get a real reason but now what. I personally think that she is overwhelmed for some reason or other with the mere obstacle of human interactions. But what do I do. Anybody anywhere, Got anything to offer?

by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 10:45 AM
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by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 11:28 AM

 I am so sorry to here that your daughter is having a hard time. Are you wanting to homeschool her for just the 2 days or are you thinking about homeschooling from this point on?

You need to learn what are the laws for your state (you can find that here) . I strongly suggest & encourage all new homeschoolers that are pulling their children out of any school system to deschool (you can learn about that here) . It will be in yours & your daughters best interest to figure out her learning style & then decide from that how you are going to homeschool & what you are going to use a a curriculum or if you are going to use one at all.

Good luck!

by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 1:30 PM

 I'm sorry your DD (and you) are having problems. Was your DD being bullied at the school by the other kids?  Are you asking about homeschooling or are you asking what to do about your DD's behavior? Sorry, I think we need more info, so we can be on the same page. (My DD was bullied and could never find any friends at the school)

by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 4:27 PM
I know it sounds wierd, but how does she do with clothes? Food textures, lights sounds etc? If she is still having bathroom issues and is still very clingy to you, it almost makes me wonder if she has problems sorting her world out? My son has a mild form of sensory disorder and had become violent with his teacher because she touched his back when he was mad (she was trying to comfort him and get him to express himself.) He gets really agitated when he is in buildings that have the old tubular fluorescent lighting because he can hear them, and too much kid interaction really gets him scared and out of control feeling (so he poops). I am so sorry that you are going through this. It does not make you a bad mom, if you were feeling that way. Take these two days to really nurture your baby, and find out how you can help her. If she needs any therapies offered at the school, see if you can enroll her part time. So, then she gets what she needs from the school district, but then if you decide to homeschool, you can help her learn to process things easier in a safe environment. Poor gals the pair of you are! You have this mama!
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by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 11:13 PM

 Same here, more info. Does she have any other dx of any conditions besides premature? Anyone tested her for actual developmental delays (like the potty and social things you mentioned)? Is the school aware of these issues and have they ever written an IEP for her?

I ask these since it seems she could possibly have a dx of some sort of developmental delays. This would be a good thing since the school has to provide an IEP. This is a big deal because if her dx says social outburst is due to disability they could never again punish her for it, no detention or anything-ever! They would HAVE to create behavior modification plans.

BUT are you considering homeschooling, how does DD feel?

by on Jan. 1, 2012 at 9:15 AM

Hotmama42 makes some very good points.  I am a tutor, and find there are many things that can effect children's behavior. You can research some solutions here.  It is a site that gives many good ideas on how to help children with behavior problems.

by on Jan. 1, 2012 at 11:58 AM

Great advice given by above responders.  I would highly recommend  having her seen by a professional.. My son had some issues - was diagnosed with several minor problems all " clustered" together:   anxiety, mild depression, ADHD, sensory defensive  etc.   The calm advice of a wonderful child psychiatrist - who recommended homeschooling - got us all through a difficult time.   All problems were overcome!!

P.S.  Use a private counselor rather than having  her evaluated by the school!!!!!!!

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