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Frustrated and disapointed in my self.

Posted by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 4:25 PM
  • 19 Replies

I am so frustrated with not only myself but my 5yo. She does not seem to be learning . No matter what I do she just does not seem to get it . That is where I am frustrated with my self, I feel I am failing her. I am frustrated with her becuase she does not seem to want to listen , and then when I ask her something she just makes stuff up . Today we did not start school untill late because no one was feeling well and hubby's schedule changed for the day . Well we sat down and I was having her work on a "Cat" lap book I had put together. There was a page for her to trace the alphabet letter by letter. I asked her to tell me what letter she was writing and what sound it made, she again just started making stuff up so I yelled, she cried and now I feel like CRAP!

I took her aside and told her I was sorry and that I should never yell at her then took the girls outside to blow bubbles and scribble on the sidewalk with chalk.

I think I need to re-evaluate everything now. I honestly do not feel she is learning and I do not know what to do ! UGGGGGGG I feel like a failure and a horrible mom !

by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 4:25 PM
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by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 5:03 PM

Perhaps she just is not ready.

When my dd was 4-1/2, we started school. She had no ability to sit for any amount of time, so everything we did had to be fast and short or active. However, gradually, over the schoolyear, I was able to get her to listen to more than one picture book being read at a time, learn the sounds of the letters (one per week then a review), count to10, count and sort objects. We hardly did any seatwork, except some scissor and crayon work (which she did not seem to like). However, when I looked back over the whole year, I see just how much she did learn and absorb. It seemed like just a small amount at the time.

I try to challenge my dd but not frustrate her--it can be a delicate balance. Sometimes she has to try something she says she does not like. So, I have her do a little of it.

BTW, neither I nor my dd could ever stand doing a lapbook. 90% of what we did in Pre-K, K, 1st, and 2nd grades involved reading or discussion only. This year, in 3rd, she is doing a bit of notebooking, which includes copywork, drawing, and some original writing but not much. She does a few workbooks now (Greek, cursive, math) as well.

by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 5:18 PM
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Does she enjoy sidewalk chalk a lot? Maybe head outside a bit early and write the alphabet for her, and have her trace those?
No time for flash cards has TONS of famtastic letter (of the week) crafts to help with recognition. Play dough letters are lot of fun, so is tracing in whipped cream- tasty too!:)

For early phonics, I cannot say enough good things about Leapfrog! My 3 yo son has known his entire alphabet, the sounds the letters make, and at least one word that starts with each letter for quite some time now. He feels like he's getting a big treat with some extra screen time, and I'm rewarded by hearing him sing phonics songs to his cars!

Don't be too hard on yourself, it sounds like you guys simply haven't found the right fit yet :)
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by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 5:32 PM

Thanks ladies

by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 5:36 PM

1) Take a BIG breath
2) take a week off, and evaluate all you are doing.  Look up some new ideas and approaches.
3) FInd an online test (I will see if I can find it for you mama) that will help you figure out your child's learning style
4) Ask her what she's interested in.  Remember, at that age games and play can still REALLy be effective learning tools.

5) I'm still very new to Homeschool myself, but even with my two and a half year olds, it's trial and error to find what helps them learn, and what toys they like best.  You'll figure it out mama! 

by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 5:40 PM
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She is only 5, there is a reason that the law says a child does not have to be enrolled until 7, b/c even they know that 5 is just too early.  Take a step back and just read with her, and reinforce the letters and keep trying.  Don't push it she has plenty of time, my son didn't learn his letters until he was 7 and in second grade.

by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 5:45 PM
Big breath. I feel like a failure of a mom most days! But, she's only 5! Let her play. Answer her questions as they come. Ask her what she wants to do. Move forward. Amazing job apologizing to her! Most people let their egos get in the way. I am very proud of how you handled that!
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by Member on Jan. 11, 2012 at 6:04 PM
We all lose our tempers.
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by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 6:17 PM

Try using different curriculum. I have the same issue with my dd.

She makes things up, sounds out individual letters but them blends random letters together when "reading". She doesn't pay attention/listen unless she wants to.

The only thing I have found is I have to do short lessons, or one subject at a time. I also start with her weak point first and go from there. She loves math, so we start with reading.. I make math more "fun" by doing the "yucky" work first. I also do not tolerate fits of any sort during school. She MUST take her attitude to her room and leave it on her bed. When her attitude can stay on her bed, she may come back and finish her lesson.

For the ABCs (since you used that example).. It may seem dumb to you or her.. but use pipe cleaners or play dough to form letters. You can print the ABCs on 1 sheet of paper per letter and laminate (save for later kids if you have younger ones). Then you have a template and using dough or pipe cleaner over will help with letter formation. A cookie sheet with flour/salt/sugar/sand and writing letters in that. When going to the store ask her to find certain letters. You can have her help count number boxes you need of cereal when grocery shopping. Learning is NOT just book work or classroom time. There is ALWAYS a learning/teaching experience!!

If it makes you feel any better, we took 2-3 MONTHS off because neither of us were getting anywhere. I have work samples due Friday and barely have anything to show for this last quarter. I needed to reevaluate why I was homeschooling and it gave dd time to realize how much she does like her school and that she misses it when we take a break.

You're not alone!

by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 6:26 PM

She may not be ready for school yet. I do not believe we need to push our children. I tried with my 3rd son because I wanted to keep up to the "standards". What it did was frustrate us and make him not like school. One day though a couple years later, it just clicked. By that time I had stopped pushing him and let him go. If we got a lot done one day, yay! If not, I tried not to let it bother me. Now as a 5th grader he reads a couple grades ahead and is a few years ahead in math. These were our hardest subjects. Try to do fun "school" things with her. Like writing the alphabet with the the sidewalk chalk. Make large pictures of the letters of the alphabet and glue items inside the letters, like feathers inside a letter f. If you want to use food products to glue, you can use caro syrup instead of regular school glue. Choose an educational video to watch a few days a week. I am a huge fan of the leap frog videos. My son I spoke of earlier loves watching educational videos and documentaries. Its amazing the difference I saw in him when I stopped "forcing" school on him. Your dd is young, it is not necessary to do bookwork or have a full structured day. HUgs momma, we have all had those days.

by Silver Member on Jan. 11, 2012 at 6:31 PM

 if you don't mind a mess - I could NOT get my daughter interested in learning her letters until a neighbor kid who was quite a bit younger could read and she couldn't. (she was 5 at the time) We would coat the table with either shaving cream or whipped cream (depending what we had at the house), smear it around, and then she would write out the letters the best she could .  A box full of sand works too and at least then the mess is contained a little better.  It just made it a little more fun and interesting.  We are using the shaving cream method to teach our 2 year old to write his letters now since he can't grip a pencil well enough for actual writing and my daughter who is now 7 is jealous because "he gets to have all the fun" lol.  We occasionally let her practice her spelling words that way.

You are doing a great job. We all get frustrated at some point or another. As much as we want things to go the way we plan and plan and plan for...we have to remember we have to be flexible to the one that is learning even if it means more planning on our parts ;)

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