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Trying to decide what to do about....

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2012 at 10:31 PM
  • 5 Replies

making the decision to continue homeschooling my 14 year old son and 10 year old daughter.  We have been homeschooling for close to four years now.  Here's the scenario: they give me a hard time about getting up in the morning, going to bed, doing their studies, and also fight with their older brother(whom has Aspergers and for whom I transport to college 3x a week).  I am pretty much burned out from this scenario.  I had a straight talk with them the other day, stating I was fed up with their uncooperative ways, the fighting, etc.  I also told them that I am considering signing them up for school(which part of me wants to avoid, but on the other hand, I don't know how many more chances I can give them) They complain when I take them with us to college, saying they don't want to go into the college library because it's 'too noisy' then we are stuck doing studies in the car, and that has its moments too, especially if one or both of them fights about doing their studies.  I mention this to my husband, who basically leaves it on my shoulders or says' send 'em to school.  Advice???

by on Jan. 28, 2012 at 10:31 PM
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by Jinx on Jan. 28, 2012 at 11:30 PM
3 moms liked this

I've given the power to my kids. The deal is, they need to be happy with their schooling. If they aren't happy homeschooling and they want to havea negative attitude, I will enroll them in Public School tomorrow.  This has really helped. My kids know this isn't an iidle threat but a promise.

School is going to happen whether it be athome or at school. So either way they study. I give them some flexability in the subjects they choose and how they do them. This makes them more cooperative in doing their assignments.

You really need to get to the root of their attitude. WHY are they unhappy?

Also, when you take ODS to college, why can't the 14yo stay home? He's old enough to be home for an afternoon. That may be the incentive to do his work.if you can trust him to get his work done on his own, he can havethe freedom to stay home and then play games or do whatever when he's done with his schoolwork. This would also give you more one on one time with your DD.

by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 10:10 AM

I was going to give the same advice as Jinx about your 14 year old. At that age, they really crave independance. My 14 year old son does about 90% of his work on his own. He is done in much less time, he feels more in control of his studies, and argues with his younger brother much less.

Each of my boys have a planner for school. I write everything they need to get done, for every day, for every subject, for 2 weeks at a time. So, he has the freedom to look ahead and, for example, get a week's worth of reading done in one day if he chooses.

So, I would look at 3 important things if I were in your shoes: 1. How I am handling the situation-my stress level or frustration is usually a catalyst for bad behavior from my entire family(mom usually sets the tone). 2. How we "do" school-if they always feel rushed and there is not a regular routine that can leave most kids very frustrated and ready to act out, also some people(not just kids) can't concentrate in certain environments, their brain just fogs over 3. Is the curriculum working for us-maybe there are better tools we can be using to fit our lifestyle, like online or DVD type classes, that would enable the kids to be more independant

Just my 2 cents : ) Godd luck with whatever you choose.

by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 10:43 AM

Thank you for your input.  I'm reassessing the whole scenario, hoping to find the best fit for us.

by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 1:55 PM

I would try negotiating freedoms and responsibilities - with school work just being one of them. 

Maybe give them a talk about how they're "becoming adults" and "preparing to move out and do things for themselves." Help them make a plan that they feel like they have control over. Even if ACTUALLY moving out is 5+ years away it may still help them to take ownership over their attitudes and schedules. I think for some children, around middle school, they begin to have a feeling of "Where is this even going? What is the point of alllll these papers and scores? I know what I know. I don't need this crap."They feel like school is a hoop or a ploy to keep them just "doing something" until college.

Maybe have them set some education or career goals and then do something (arrange a shadow day, pay for specialty day camp) to show that you are committed to helping them meet their goals - if they are. Let them get a feel for the idea that this (school) IS really going somewhere. 

by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2012 at 9:55 PM

Good luck! My kids haven't reached this age but I agree with the other ladies. 8)

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