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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Need some advice

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 8:54 PM
  • 12 Replies

We just pulled ds from ps, they did evals on him due to the IEP that he has, but what I need some help on is do we relook at what he can actually do or do we just go off of what he is willing to show the teachers he can do? We know that he can do more but we don't want to overwhelm him but I want to get caught up to his grade so that he isn't behind any more. I'm just not sure how to go about it! My thoughts are to help him through the work and see how hard it is and what he is struggling with and then go from there, but I don't really know how well this will work. Also is it necessary to 'deschool' a kid before starting into everything? I still have 2 kids in ps and that would be hard, I plan on giving him tomorrow and then the weekend, and then starting into it slowly on Monday next week. Please help, I'm so new at this and overwhelmed!

by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 8:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mem82
by Platinum Member on Feb. 23, 2012 at 10:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Deschooling is a good thing but it does throw some kids off.

Depending on the child, you could ask him one thing a day, that you *think* he can do but wouldn't, and see if he will perform it.

A few questions just so I can tailor my responses. How old is he? Is he happy to homeschool? Are you wanting to put him back in public once he is caught up?

Good luck!

Sariah747
by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 10:57 PM
1 mom liked this

DS is 8, he is thrilled to be homeschooled and loves it when i work with him he learns things so quickly! and no we don't plan on putting him back in any time soon. maybe in high school but not now

Quoting mem82:

Deschooling is a good thing but it does throw some kids off.

Depending on the child, you could ask him one thing a day, that you *think* he can do but wouldn't, and see if he will perform it.

A few questions just so I can tailor my responses. How old is he? Is he happy to homeschool? Are you wanting to put him back in public once he is caught up?

Good luck!


Jinx-Troublex3
by Jinx on Feb. 24, 2012 at 12:34 AM
Sariah ~ It seems you are on th right track :)

Deschooling also depends on your school style. I tend to be more "school at home" than many homeschoolers. This means I use curriculum, we have a schedule, and I do grades, etc. This worked because that's what my kids were used to but we noow do it in a more rlaxed and encouraging, fun way with much less pressure.

EtA~Next week I would start withmaybe two topics, than add another every other day until you are up to where you want to be.
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wright1212
by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 8:18 AM

 Either way it will take a bit to get your groove started. But with our IEP for our son..we chose both paths. Work on what he is good at, but also what he showed others. Think of this.. If you have seen him do something that is great..but is it truly mastered skill until he does it on a regular basis for all. I like to think of a young child reciting their phone number for you- great safety skill, but until they can tell anyone who ask it doesnt really matter..right? For my son I have a few therapist and friends that help us to ensure he is doing social mastery. So for him he needs to answer 'what is your name', so others are helping by asking and I prompt moving towards minimal prompts. For my DD (no IEP) she is great at telling me stuff, but I noticed she is not testing well. She is only 7 now, but as she gets older she will have to learn to show knowledge on tests, so I found apps and do basic paper based. Just to ensure they show what they know in a variety of ways.

Sariah747
by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 9:52 AM

The 'school at home' sounds more like what we are wanting to do. DH wants to still have some sort of curriculum and some way to push ds instead of just letting him coast by. We were thinking that we would start with a topic and work on it for  week and then if he isn't getting it, the flexibility of being at home would mean that we would be able to spend more time on it. I don't know about grades but we do plan on giving him tests to show that he knows the work. Would you start with a topic or 2 that he knows really well? Or something that he enjoys?? He loves to learn about nature, as well as writing short stories. Would that work, or one topic that he likes and something that he isn't to fond of, like nature and math?

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

Sariah ~ It seems you are on th right track :)

Deschooling also depends on your school style. I tend to be more "school at home" than many homeschoolers. This means I use curriculum, we have a schedule, and I do grades, etc. This worked because that's what my kids were used to but we noow do it in a more rlaxed and encouraging, fun way with much less pressure.

EtA~Next week I would start withmaybe two topics, than add another every other day until you are up to where you want to be.


Sariah747
by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 9:57 AM

I want him to still keep up on the social like phone number and things like that, he tells everyone his name; ie Hi my name is Jacob, whats your name? He is extremely outgoing and social, I'm more worried about school stuff. Like simple math, he doesn't know his addition hardly at all, things like 2+2=4, he can't recall those. He can't remember how to form a sentence, or how to add puncuation to a sentence that is missing it. We plan on doing tests during that year, we were thinking something like 1 a week, I'm just not sure if thats a good idea, or to do it on the material we have been working on or on the new stuff about to be introduced. He still has speech at the school, so he is still doing the social stuff there, that will keep up with the IEP.

Quoting wright1212:

 Either way it will take a bit to get your groove started. But with our IEP for our son..we chose both paths. Work on what he is good at, but also what he showed others. Think of this.. If you have seen him do something that is great..but is it truly mastered skill until he does it on a regular basis for all. I like to think of a young child reciting their phone number for you- great safety skill, but until they can tell anyone who ask it doesnt really matter..right? For my son I have a few therapist and friends that help us to ensure he is doing social mastery. So for him he needs to answer 'what is your name', so others are helping by asking and I prompt moving towards minimal prompts. For my DD (no IEP) she is great at telling me stuff, but I noticed she is not testing well. She is only 7 now, but as she gets older she will have to learn to show knowledge on tests, so I found apps and do basic paper based. Just to ensure they show what they know in a variety of ways.


romacox
by Silver Member on Feb. 24, 2012 at 10:03 AM

deschooling is sometimes necessary. But because your 8 year old is responding to home school so well, I doubt he needs it. 

You are absolutely correct about finding out what he is missing...what is the cause of him not doing as well in school as you know he is capable of. Filling in missing links can make a big difference.  My children are now all grown, but I still tutor children, and often see kids who experience what you are describing.  I find that many do much better at home than at school for various reasons. 

  • For active children, school can be very stressful.  When I was a child, we were given 3 recesses, and the teacher could give us more if needed. But today many schools only allow 30 minutes.  When we are under stress, our bodies produce cortisol, which effects our ability to learn.  This has an even more profound effect on children.  So many of my students preform much better at home than at school simply because I mix activity into their learning.
  • Sometimes very bright children (especially true with hands on learners and active children) get the idea that they are not as smart as the other kids.  That idea can become a self fulfilling prophecy.  I have found helping them overcome this self image is sometimes all that is needed...no missing chains there.
  • This is rare: Occasionally the fluorescent lighting at school causes some people to have eye problems.  The words on pages appear to move.  It is called Sotopic Syndrome.  Conditions that  Can Mimic Or Cause Learning Problems.
Sariah747
by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 10:12 AM

He was getting all of his recesses taken away, the teacher wouldn't let him outside for some reason or another. She made him think that he was stupid and so he acted like it. She was giving him to much work, he wasn't able to complete it all, and so he would think im a failure why try? And then he would get home and do it just fine in 20 minutes. It's just more relaxed here and with mom being able to be right there one on one I think that made a difference. I pretty much know where he is struggling, and kinda where he needs help, like simple addition, 2+2=4. And reading comprehnsion, he can't recall simple facts out of a story, even after reading it multiple times he just can't! Believe me we have tried. We found out this year that the glasses he was wearing weren't the right script, when we fixed that problem it made a huge difference!! His reading jumped so quickly, but hes still on a 1st grade level. We are working through it and as problems are coming up we are fixing them.

Quoting romacox:

deschooling is sometimes necessary. But because your 8 year old is responding to home school so well, I doubt he needs it. 

You are absolutely correct about finding out what he is missing...what is the cause of him not doing as well in school as you know he is capable of. Filling in missing links can make a big difference.  My children are now all grown, but I still tutor children, and often see kids who experience what you are describing.  I find that many do much better at home than at school for various reasons. 

  • For active children, school can be very stressful.  When I was a child, we were given 3 recesses, and the teacher could give us more if needed. But today many schools only allow 30 minutes.  When we are under stress, our bodies produce cortisol, which effects our ability to learn.  This has an even more profound effect on children.  So many of my students preform much better at home than at school simply because I mix activity into their learning.
  • Sometimes very bright children (especially true with hands on learners and active children) get the idea that they are not as smart as the other kids.  That idea can become a self fulfilling prophecy.  I have found helping them overcome this self image is sometimes all that is needed...no missing chains there.
  • This is rare: Occasionally the fluorescent lighting at school causes some people to have eye problems.  The words on pages appear to move.  It is called Sotopic Syndrome.  Conditions that  Can Mimic Or Cause Learning Problems.


mem82
by Platinum Member on Feb. 24, 2012 at 10:22 AM
1 mom liked this

That drives me nuts! Why would you take an energy release from the chils? It's shooting you both in the foot!

Quoting Sariah747:

He was getting all of his recesses taken away, the teacher wouldn't let him outside for some reason or another. She made him think that he was stupid and so he acted like it. She was giving him to much work, he wasn't able to complete it all, and so he would think im a failure why try? And then he would get home and do it just fine in 20 minutes. It's just more relaxed here and with mom being able to be right there one on one I think that made a difference. I pretty much know where he is struggling, and kinda where he needs help, like simple addition, 2+2=4. And reading comprehnsion, he can't recall simple facts out of a story, even after reading it multiple times he just can't! Believe me we have tried. We found out this year that the glasses he was wearing weren't the right script, when we fixed that problem it made a huge difference!! His reading jumped so quickly, but hes still on a 1st grade level. We are working through it and as problems are coming up we are fixing them.

Quoting romacox:

deschooling is sometimes necessary. But because your 8 year old is responding to home school so well, I doubt he needs it. 

You are absolutely correct about finding out what he is missing...what is the cause of him not doing as well in school as you know he is capable of. Filling in missing links can make a big difference.  My children are now all grown, but I still tutor children, and often see kids who experience what you are describing.  I find that many do much better at home than at school for various reasons. 

  • For active children, school can be very stressful.  When I was a child, we were given 3 recesses, and the teacher could give us more if needed. But today many schools only allow 30 minutes.  When we are under stress, our bodies produce cortisol, which effects our ability to learn.  This has an even more profound effect on children.  So many of my students preform much better at home than at school simply because I mix activity into their learning.
  • Sometimes very bright children (especially true with hands on learners and active children) get the idea that they are not as smart as the other kids.  That idea can become a self fulfilling prophecy.  I have found helping them overcome this self image is sometimes all that is needed...no missing chains there.
  • This is rare: Occasionally the fluorescent lighting at school causes some people to have eye problems.  The words on pages appear to move.  It is called Sotopic Syndrome.  Conditions that  Can Mimic Or Cause Learning Problems.





Sariah747
by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 10:25 AM

Between no recess and the box around his desk (that I took down) and belittling him it's just been awful this year!

Quoting mem82:

That drives me nuts! Why would you take an energy release from the chils? It's shooting you both in the foot!

Quoting Sariah747:

He was getting all of his recesses taken away, the teacher wouldn't let him outside for some reason or another. She made him think that he was stupid and so he acted like it. She was giving him to much work, he wasn't able to complete it all, and so he would think im a failure why try? And then he would get home and do it just fine in 20 minutes. It's just more relaxed here and with mom being able to be right there one on one I think that made a difference. I pretty much know where he is struggling, and kinda where he needs help, like simple addition, 2+2=4. And reading comprehnsion, he can't recall simple facts out of a story, even after reading it multiple times he just can't! Believe me we have tried. We found out this year that the glasses he was wearing weren't the right script, when we fixed that problem it made a huge difference!! His reading jumped so quickly, but hes still on a 1st grade level. We are working through it and as problems are coming up we are fixing them.

Quoting romacox:

deschooling is sometimes necessary. But because your 8 year old is responding to home school so well, I doubt he needs it. 

You are absolutely correct about finding out what he is missing...what is the cause of him not doing as well in school as you know he is capable of. Filling in missing links can make a big difference.  My children are now all grown, but I still tutor children, and often see kids who experience what you are describing.  I find that many do much better at home than at school for various reasons. 

  • For active children, school can be very stressful.  When I was a child, we were given 3 recesses, and the teacher could give us more if needed. But today many schools only allow 30 minutes.  When we are under stress, our bodies produce cortisol, which effects our ability to learn.  This has an even more profound effect on children.  So many of my students preform much better at home than at school simply because I mix activity into their learning.
  • Sometimes very bright children (especially true with hands on learners and active children) get the idea that they are not as smart as the other kids.  That idea can become a self fulfilling prophecy.  I have found helping them overcome this self image is sometimes all that is needed...no missing chains there.
  • This is rare: Occasionally the fluorescent lighting at school causes some people to have eye problems.  The words on pages appear to move.  It is called Sotopic Syndrome.  Conditions that  Can Mimic Or Cause Learning Problems.




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