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Can you share other ways to build your teen daughter's self-esteem?

Posted by on Mar. 12, 2012 at 4:39 AM
  • 13 Replies

How to Raise a Teenage Daughter With Self-Esteem

Posted by Michele Zipp on March 10, 2012 

teen girls huddleBack when I found out I was having a baby girl I couldn't help but get excited about braiding her hair and buying her little tutus. Then I got scared. I remembered all my teenage insecurities and how challenging those years can be, particularly for a girl who doesn't have high self-esteem. So yes, I did get her a tutu and I try to braid her hair if she sits still (she just 2 years-old now) but I do realize one of the most important things I can help her with is self-esteem.

Cindy Breilh from the humanitarian organization World Vision offered some great ideas on how to empower women and girls, and many of those tips can be useful parents as their teens enter those very influential years. 

Teach your teen the value of volunteering and donating, particularly to help other women and teen girls.

Breilh shares that in countries like Afghanistan, Sierra Leone, and Bolivia, having a baby is one of the most dangerous things a woman can do. You and your daughter can visit StrongWomenStrongWorld.org for details to help train local midwives in remote communities -- essentially giving other kids the best shot at life. I love this idea. You can also talk about how in poor communities worldwide many girls do not attend school and instead have to fetch clean water for their village. By helping them get clean water, it's helping those girls get an education. These are just two examples -- there are so many causes you can choose with your teen. Empowering women and teens who have less than you can empower your teen (and your family) as well.

Mentor a girl close to home.

There are many kids right in your hometown who could really grow from help from other kids. Show your teenager that she can be a mentor to other teens in her community (or perhaps she would even benefit from having a mentor other than you). Big Brothers Big Sisters is one organization that helps pair mentors, but there also may be other options in your area.

Encourage your daughter to surround herself with like-minded women.

Whatever her passion is -- soccer, knitting, music, fashion, art -- help her find the right programs to further explore and it could help her build strong friendships with other teens with similar goals and interests. This is a great way to keep any teen out of trouble, and helps them really explore positive interests.

Make sure your daughter knows you care and are proud of her accomplishments, big and small.

Everyone in the family should take part in this -- celebrate the good your teen does (sometimes we get caught up in the negative). Encourage her to do the same to her peers, as many kids get too wrapped up in competition. Make sure she knows it's not about who is better at something, but how each person should strive to be their best selves.

I know this all makes it sound easy. I'm fearing those teen years! But I'm filing these ideas away and pulling them out when it's time. 

Can you share other ways to build your teen daughter's self-esteem?

by on Mar. 12, 2012 at 4:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
romacox
by Silver Member on Mar. 12, 2012 at 7:56 AM

Interesting studies show that many children who had come from foreign countries (not even speaking English)  often accomplished more than other children.  As the matter was researched it was discovered that when children succeed at overcoming obstacles, they develop an inner confidence.  It was further found that when we make it "too easy " for our children, they are less equipped to handle adversity when parents are not there to help them. 

Boobah
by Nikki :) on Mar. 12, 2012 at 8:54 AM
Self esteem is something we are in need of work on here. I'll watch this post for ideas :)
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mem82
by Platinum Member on Mar. 12, 2012 at 9:21 AM

Well, Missie is 10, almost 11 so she's not quite a teen, yet, but I'll weigh in, anyway. More than anything, I police my own words. As an adult, sometimes we don't realize that a younger person might not get the 'tongue in cheek'. I make sure to not say things like 'Duh!' or 'That was stupid!' even in jest when she messes up. I'm also I big believer in taking responsibility, so I acknowledge simply that she had not done it right, and then help her figure out how to fix it. I usually mention something I messed up once in a similar situation. I think that makes her feel not so down on herself.

Joyce23
by on Mar. 12, 2012 at 9:23 AM
bump


KickButtMama
by Shannon on Mar. 12, 2012 at 9:35 AM
As a personal trainer, one of the big parts of affecting physical change is through inproving self-esteem.

One of the easy, but effective ways? Start a ME journal. In it one can complain, or write about their day. But across the top of the page they must write at least 1 thing they liked about themself that day. Some days it will be something as simple as "I like that i didn't yell today" but other days she will find things that are more profound.

I also wrote an article a few years ago for Yahoo, The Impact of Image -
http://voices.yahoo.com/the-impact-image-6099458.html?cat=25

 

usmom3
by BJ on Mar. 12, 2012 at 1:56 PM

I think not putting them in PS is a big help. My 18 y/o son was in public school until he was 12, he has a better self esteem then he did back then but it is still not where I wish it was. My 8y/o daughter on the other hand has never been to PS & she has a better self esteem then my 18y/o has. The difference she has never had other kids put her down like my son & on the few occasions that she has had other kids say mean things to her she had the confidence to stand up for herself.

romacox
by Silver Member on Mar. 13, 2012 at 7:31 PM

I work with many children who are having trouble learning to read, and their self esteem is often very low.  I do a game similar to what you describe.  If I am working with a small group (even works with one child), we take turns saying (or writing on a card with the child's name on it)  something we like or admire about teach child.  The rule is that it has to be true, and always positive.

  Sometimes we pass around a stuffed a hart to do this activity (only the child holding the hart is allowed to talk, while the rest give them total attention).  The kids love it, and sometimes I have thought about skipping it, but the kids always ask for it.  As they become more proficient at it, I ask them to say something they like about themselves. 

Quoting KickButtMama:


As a personal trainer, one of the big parts of affecting physical change is through inproving self-esteem.

One of the easy, but effective ways? Start a ME journal. In it one can complain, or write about their day. But across the top of the page they must write at least 1 thing they liked about themself that day. Some days it will be something as simple as "I like that i didn't yell today" but other days she will find things that are more profound.

I also wrote an article a few years ago for Yahoo, The Impact of Image -
http://voices.yahoo.com/the-impact-image-6099458.html?cat=25


mem82
by Platinum Member on Mar. 13, 2012 at 7:32 PM

bump

oredeb
by on Mar. 14, 2012 at 12:17 PM

 heres some stuff we did with our girls while they were growing up, i know some might not agree but it worked for us.

one way to build self esteem  is to have both parents parenting in the house, dad involved in daughters life, just like hes involved in sons life, shes always watching him so he also needs to be treating mom good! thats how our daughters learn how a man should treat them. when it come time to get married if they do, they will be looking for a husband like dad who treated moms good! 

another is to always be talking to our daughters, asking them questions, being interested with what they are doing, even if we dont enjoy it, be open, so when they need to talk to you about stuff they will, and if you notice something is bothering them, ask them about it, dont just set it aside and think it will pass, cuz it wont!

dad take daughters fishing, hunting, to movies etc helps a lot

they need a father in the house or an unclle or grandfather that cares

always listening to our daughters

spending times with their dads, letting him teach them how to change a tire, change the oil , or working on the engine , doing things girls wouldnt usually do

encouraging them in every thing! even if they think they cant do it, made it possible that they can at least try, even if they fail thats ok! at least they tried! and you were there incouraging them!

letting the girls do the little league thing, soccer, baseball, tennis etc, praising them for just showing up is helpful!hahah even if they arent any good at it!

dont tell them they are stupid or dumb(dont tell any child that!)

dont make them feel that way either

watching movies or tv shows with them, and countermanding(is that the right word?) some of the negetive stuff they put out on shows about how girls should look, or be or act like, eventually they will recognize it and know its just not true.

teach her to be happy with how she looks,

 

 

Ariellas_Mommy
by on Mar. 20, 2012 at 8:26 PM

 I wasn't a teen too long ago myself, and had a very hard time during those years as my parents got a divorce, but the one thing I remember that made me feel really good about myself was playing sports. I wasn't good at them by any means, but my coaches and trainers worked with me and pushed me harder than I ever thought I could be pushed, even to the point of crying. But I was so proud of myself, and still am today. I know I can do anything, because of what I did then. It made a HUGE difference.

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