If anyone ever questions why people have kids, this letter is why. A youngster named Flint crafted this fantastic note after his local Austin, Texas, weatherman visited his fourth grade class. He. Is. Supremely. Awesome. Even more awesome than a lightsaber horned unicorn who brings you doughnuts. I'm stealing Flint's words there.
KVUE weatherman Albert Ramon got the letter from Flint along with 30 others mailed out by the teacher. Typical professional meets class type of stuff. Only Ramon thought Flint's letter was the coolest of cool and he posted it to his Facebook page. Now we all want to read it. Well, I have it here for you!
Dear Mr. Ramon,
Thank you for coming to our school and teaching us about weather.
Some day when I become supreme Ultra-Lord of the universe I will not make you a slave, you will live in my 200 story castle where unicorn servants will feed you doughnuts off their horns.
I will personally make you a throne that is half platnum and half solid gold and jewel encrested.
Thank you again for teaching us about meteoroligy, you're more awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out bacon riding a cyborg unicorn with a lightsaber for the horn on the tip of a space shuttle closing in on Mars while ingulfed in flames ... And in case you didn't know, that's pretty dang sweet.
P.S. Look on back for drawing. (You can see it here on Happy Place.)
He ends this with a smiley face, and when you turn the page to see the drawing, there is the unicorn with the lightsaber horn complete with a doughnut on it and the thought bubble "Your doughnut master." Unicorn is facing that oh-so impressionable weatherman sitting on the throne. His thought bubble says "Marvelis."
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This isn't urban legend stuff either -- this is real. "Master" Weatheman Ramon tweeted about the authenticity:
Letter was mailed by his teacher with 30 others from his class. His obviously stood out. Posted to my personal FB, then bam
So Flint, if you are reading this, here is my letter to you:
There is so much awesome in you but please don't let it all go to your head so your ego inflates like a Weeble wobble who ate too many marshmallows and who then puffs up bigger than Mars and then implodes. Possibly thanks to those unicorns and their powerful horns. They keep people in check. I trust you are keen to this already. I also feel like you have a future in comic books -- or whatever you put your "marvelis" mind to. You rule!
P.S. Please don't make me a slave once you become Ultra-Lord. Even if there's no room in your castle.
This all makes me wonder what kind of stuff my kids will come up with once they are older. Ah kids ... they are pretty dang sweet.
What do you think of Flint's letter?