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Have you broken up with parent friends?

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:55 AM
  • 4 Replies

When Kid Friendships Fail, Moms Should Stick Together

Posted by April Peveteaux on April 2, 2012 

mom friends kid friendsMom friends are rad. Who else is in the same place, at the same time, as you? Who else can you bond with over the lice epidemic and the oddly intense parent/teacher conferences you just went through? So when your kiddo befriends another who just happens to have a super cool mom, you have hit the jackpot.

Dinners at each other's houses, playdates that you don't actually mind, all of these things make being a mom easier. Until, of course, those kids decide they don't want to be friends anymore. Like the reverse of RHONJ's Kim G. and Caroline, sometimes your kids break up, but you really want to keep the mom-friend.

What to do?

First of all, what's up with your kid that she thinks she can dump another kid? Alternately, what's up with that other kid that she thinks she can dump your kid? Get to the bottom of that. Because if this is just a temporary situation, there's no need to stress. However, what happens if the other kid turns into a total a-hole? Or yours does?

The reason I'm friends with other parents is that they are unlikely to be the types who would be upset if I said to the kid, "Hey, that's not nice." And of course, I wouldn't blink if she did the same to mine. No, I'm not recommending meddling in your child's relationship, but if it is a simple matter, do what you can. After all, good mom friends are hard to find!

If it does happen that all is lost in the kid friendship, however, let's get some perspective. Since when does your child get to pick your friends? Yes, the whole parenting thing makes it harder to make friends outside of the circle, but once you claim a friend, she's yours. No one, not even your precious offspring, can take that away. So what if it's awkward when you're getting dinner invites from the mom, while your child is being ignored by the daughter? It happens. I have plenty of friends who have older children, or significantly younger, and we're still friends even though our kids don't connect. It's okay. Your entire social life does not have to center around your children, even though it might.

Unless one child did something so horrible and the parent is completely lacking in remorse, you can make this parent friendship work. After all, the kids will graduate and move out of the house at some point, and you'll still be there needing a book club buddy. Don't let a fickle kid friendship ruin yours.

Have you broken up with parent friends?

by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:55 AM
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Replies (1-4):
Mom2Royalty
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 8:02 AM
1 mom liked this
i am good friends with a mom and our kids aren't in the same "circle" and we're ok with that...
Boobah
by Nikki :) on Apr. 3, 2012 at 8:22 AM
1 mom liked this
I've broken up with mom friends due to extreme parenting differences before, not because our kids didn't get along. I do avoid some moms and kids because when we leave I have to calm my kids down and work on getting them back to normal. Unfortunately, the worst influences are family. *sigh*
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melissaDH
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 11:00 AM

Totally understand both above posts.

I do have friends that our kids are not in the same age groups.

Then I also have had some that we had to distance them from  because my kids had a bad reaction after we leave. Their kids just have a negative effect on mine. It is sad. 

usmom3
by BJ on Apr. 3, 2012 at 12:03 PM

 I have because they where the kind to take advantage of you & your friendship!

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