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Co-op problems-Sorry, long!! UPDATE at bottom UPDATE #2 at bottom

Posted by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 3:03 PM
  • 19 Replies

I've had some problems with the leader of our co-op and this link will explain it.

http://www.cafemom.com/group/3200/forums/read/15493830/Annoyed_UPDATED_at_bottom

Now, to get to what's going on currently:

I am really upset right now with not only the leader of our group but a few people in the group. First, there are three more "cooking" classes left; i use that term loosely, because for the class, all they will be doing is cutting out pictures of food from magazines( yeah that's what you do in preschool when you learn how to use scissors) and learning how to set a table ( as if 5th graders have never done that before). I wasn't allowed to choose recipes that didn't include using a stove, yet the class isn't even going to be IN the kitchen!! I emailed Martha and told her how upset and insulted I was that the class was taken away from me and given to someone who could supposedly do a better job and the class wont' even be in the kitchen?!? She hasn't responded to me yet but that's because of problem number 2. There is allegedly mold in the church that we are using for co-op. I'm not denying that there isn't mold, because there is mold in almost every house and building around here, unless it is a brand new building. The problem is, a handful of the moms are complaining that the mold in the basement where the kindergarten and preschool class meets is making their kids sick. One mom in particular is leading the crusade for this, and even created a survey for the group yesterday about what "we" should do about this. The church is allowing us to use their building for FREE, which was pointed out to this mom, not to mention I and a couple of other people pointed out that it is going to be impossible to find another facility that will meet our needs. We need a gym and classroom space, and this church used to have a school which no longer exists, so the building is ideal. There are NO other buildings anywhere that will meet our needs. This mom, "C" is throwing a temper tantrum saying that she isn't even going to come anymore if the mold problem isn't taken care of. Fine,then don't. The majority of the group is NOT having any problems with the mold. "C" thinks that we should find another facility or make the church ( who once again, is allowing us to use their building for FREE) pay for the mold removal, which is REALLY expensive. I think at this point, Martha is fed up with all the complaining from all sides but so are the rest of us. As the leader of the group, she needs to address the problems, and not just shout orders to everyone. I'm really upset about this, because there are NO other co-ops in our area that aren't an all day, school model group. In addition to all of these, there are several mothers who refuse to participate in the co-op in a teaching or helping capacity, because they congregate in the preschool room; they won't leave their kids for more than 10 minutes without going into withdrawals and I'm not exaggerating. This means the rest of us are responsible for handling the older kids' classes ( many of which have kids in them that are the older siblings of the preschoolers) and it is the same parents that have to do everything, every week.

"C" actually took 4 hours over the last couple of days to prepare this long "data analysis" about this. Can you say "GET A LIFE!"? This was my response to her "data analysis" crap. It was also sent to the rest of the group. No one else is responding; I guess they are afraid to speak up or are just ignoring her.

Here is the bottom line: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I feel very strongly that GOD provided us with this building and to complain about what He has blessed us with as it if isn't good enough, is not being very grateful. If our group starts demanding that the church fix this problem, when they have been so kind and generous as to let us use their facility for free, we might just lose the building altogether. I know if I were to allow someone to use my home or my car, and they started demanding that I fix things out of my own pocket, then I would be very upset and not allow them to use it anymore. This church has a very small congregation and I know that they do not have the funds to pay for mold remediation. I doubt anyone in our group does either. I think if we put our collective heads together, as well as pray, we can come up with a solution to fix this problem without placing the responsibility on the church. Speaking for myself and my kids, I would have no problem at all moving them down to the basement for classes, as I know for certain that our house has mold in it and it hasn't caused us any problems. Again, that's just speaking for myself and my kids and I don't know if anyone else would be okay with that idea.

 UPDATE!! I just got an email that there willb e a meeting on Tuesday to discuss the mold issue. I told Martha and the rest of the group that we will not be attending the meeting, and I have already expressed my opinions on the matter, and have nothing else constructive to contribute. If I come up with an idea between now and then, I will let them know.

UPDATE #2: I didn't attend the meeting but I heard it was quite interesting. For once, Martha ( the leader) actually did what a leader is supposed to do and set everyone straight. Basically, she said that we are blessed to have that building for free, and that the majority of people are comfortable there. She said we shouldn't expect the church to pony up the money to take care of the mold problem. She also said we are all adults, and if someone feels uncomfortable bringing their family there, then they need to do what's best for THEIR family and find another place to go; for now, we are keeping things as they are. She also said the most logical first step is to just move to another room. ( Bear in mind that myself as well as several other people have already said all of these exact same suggestions)"C", the ringleader of the resistance ( LOL, sorry, just couldn't resist being funny) apparently tried to make a big fuss about how 30% of the group is "mildly concerned" about the mold and Martha told her that's still NOT the majority and she is the only one who is really being vocal about it. From what I understand, "C" got mad and walked out to the playground and didn't come back inside for the rest of the meeting although she was there this past Tuesday.( We went on Tuesday for a science center presentation) Martha still never responded to me about the whole cooking class debacle. She has been out of town the last week or so but she could have emailed me. I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she didn't get the email; I don't know. I'm not sure if I will be attending the rest of the classes for this year; I might just go to the gym class and skip the "cooking" class.

Anyway, for now, things seem to be more or less settled. We'll see what happens next year!!


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http://www.cafemom.com/group/3200

by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 3:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
usmom3
by BJ on Apr. 12, 2012 at 3:17 PM

 Sounds like the one lady likes the power of leader but doesn't want to deal with the hard parts of it & the other one is a witch with a b that wants something to complain about!

Bethsunshine
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 3:19 PM


Quoting usmom3:

 Sounds like the one lady likes the power of leader but doesn't want to deal with the hard parts of it & the other one is a witch with a b that wants something to complain about!

That's pretty much the conclusion I arrived at!!


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http://www.cafemom.com/group/3200

Christine0813
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 4:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I would break away and start a new co-op.

If you don't want to do that, maybe everyone can pitch in for the cost of the clean-up. If no one wants to, then it's just time to go separate ways. It's not healthy to be in that church.

She sounds like a crappy person. I don't like what she did with your class. Wrong, wrong and wrong.

Bethsunshine
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 4:53 PM


Quoting Christine0813:

I would break away and start a new co-op.

If you don't want to do that, maybe everyone can pitch in for the cost of the clean-up. If no one wants to, then it's just time to go separate ways. It's not healthy to be in that church.

She sounds like a crappy person. I don't like what she did with your class. Wrong, wrong and wrong.


I would love to start a new co-op but in the past when I've tried to start one, no one was interested. Mold remediation is VERY expensive, like in the thousands. No one has that kind of money and quite frankly, I am not willing to contribute to the cost of the mold remediation, when it is not a problem for us.I have more important things to spend our money on, rather than cleaning up a building that I'm in for a total of 2 hours a week.The mold problem is only a problem for a handful of people, and when I say handful, I mean like 3. Nearly every house around here has mold in it, unless it is a brand new house. I know ours does, because it is 80 years old, and we have had several plumbing leaks. The person who is doing most of the complaining is extremely obese and so are her children. Being obese is NOT conducive to a healthy immune system and I have a hard time believing that all of the problems they are allegedly having are due to the mold. This winter was very mild for us this year, and it never got cold enough to kill of a lot of the germs and viruses,and many people have been sick for that reason alone. Another problem with the chief complainer, is that she is a major helicopter mom, and refuses to let her kids get dirty, thus, contributing to their poor immune systems.

I agree it was really wrong what Martha did to me about the class. If it weren't for the fact that my kids really need this kind of group to be around other homeschoolers, I wouldn't even bother with it. Our church has a private Christian school, and there are VERY few homeschoolers who attend our church. I get little to no support from my church in regards to homeschooling.


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http://www.cafemom.com/group/3200

melissaoliver79
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 6:02 PM

can you start your own?

kirbymom
by Sonja on Apr. 12, 2012 at 6:05 PM

You are right to feel like you have been treated inconsiderately.  Instead of trying to confront her in the hopes of "changing" her, which  by the wa,y isn't going to change her,  I would just let it go and keep the information of how she handles people, tucked away for future use.  Think of this as a lesson given and a lesson learned.  I hope you can find another co-op though.

oredeb
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 6:25 PM

stop going to the coop, find another one with out drama

Bethsunshine
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 6:43 PM


Quoting oredeb:

stop going to the coop, find another one with out drama


I wish I could!!


Join us in Christian Homeschoolers!!



 


http://www.cafemom.com/group/3200

wright1212
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 9:07 AM

 OK #1 my coop demands you be a helper in 2 of the 3 classes they have. If you have a child in the nursery you can only help in there 1 session unless its an infant. We also pay $25 to help keep the space then have our class fees as well. Sounds like your Coop needs more policies.

#2 are there any moms with you on the leadership is craziness and the space is not the best? If so take those couple of moms and meet at someones house, or rotate. Starting with just like 4 families and show the other how great it can be and more might join in future semesters.

KickButtMama
by Shannon on Apr. 13, 2012 at 10:15 AM
Ummm, as a mom of a severe asthmatic i would make a stnk as well. I understand the church is free, but why would anyone want their kds surrounded by mold? I would think most people woukd want a different facility.

I think conducting a survey is a great way to get everyone's imput w/o putting people on the spot.

Secondly, i don't see the problem w/ a mom of a preschool age child wanting to remain in the class w/ them. Shoot at our co-op we have parents of much older children that sit in on the classes. I, personally, appreciate this as they can help keep their own child on point.

But. It sounds like you don't like the co-op or the members, so it sounds like maybe a co-op of this nature is the wrong choice for your family. I'd see if the library will let you start a reading program or something instead.

Good luck!
Shannon
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