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What was the moment that you felt most judged as a parent?

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 6:41 AM
  • 5 Replies

5 Moms Share the Moment They Felt the Most Judged

Posted by Deborah Cruz on April 17, 2012 

breastfeedingAs mothers, many of us have had moments that have left us feeling mommy guilt or second-guessing our own maternal instincts. Sometimes these feelings come from within, not living up to our own expectations, and sometimes the feelings of inadequacy in parenting come from the judgment of other parents.

Here, five women share the moment they felt most judged as a parent.

 

"I confirmed to a coworker that yes, I was pregnant again. It was my third (and last) pregnancy and my fourth child (my oldest are twins). She said, "My goodness! Don't you know what birth control is?" What SHE didn't know is that I have a certain degree of infertility, and required treatment to conceive each of my pregnancies." -- Kymberli Barney

"People see me use a bottle for my son, despite them not knowing he was 11 weeks early, unable to breastfeed so I pumped up until about a month ago & he still gets partial breast milk (I pumped & froze) with his preemie formula." -- Leslie Matteson

"When I was pregnant with my first child I began having severe panic attacks. In a period of 72 hours, I got no more than 3 hours of sleep. I thought I was losing my mind and ended up in the ER. After much guilt and consultation with several doctors I decided to take medicine. I was prescribed an anti-depressant to help with the panic attacks. They had me convinced that I was damaging my unborn child. I would email my doctors constantly for reassurance." -- Unknown Mami

"I had three ages 2, 4, and 6. I was a complete mess trying to juggle preschool and kindergarten and nap-time and diapers. I also had absolutely NO help and nobody ever offered to lend a hand. One day when I was taking my youngest to preschool, she started crying that she didn't want to be there. I had no sleep the night before and was exhausted and couldn't deal with her whining. I ended up just picking her up and taking her home, telling the teacher that I wasn't going to leave her there that day. I got the 2 youngest back in the car and yelled at the 4-year-old to put on her seat belt because she didn't want to do it. Someone heard me yelling at her and told the preschool director... who then went and told a bunch of other people she was going to call CPS on me." -- Carolyn West

"When I was really pregnant with my second child and shopping with the first who is highly ADHD. In about 2 seconds, he stood up and flipped himself out of the cart onto the cement floor. People we looking at me like I was the devil. He was screaming his lungs out. I was sitting on the floor with him hugging him. People were walking by me making nasty comments about how I let him fall and I wasn't watching him." -- Mimi Dibble

What was the moment that you felt most judged as a parent?

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 6:41 AM
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Replies (1-5):
kirbymom
by Sonja on Apr. 17, 2012 at 9:36 PM

 The moment that I felt most judged was when I had our first child. 

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 9:41 PM

When DH and I announced we were pregnant with our second child, his family was just quiet and then someone said "Are you SURE it's a good time for this?  With the economy and all?"

To their credit, they live in one of the hardest-hit states and everyone was struggling.  But DH is military, so we had insurance and everything!

SuprMom12042702
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 10:32 PM

I have a huge list of them. When I had my second child just 17 months after having my first.
When for the first time in my entire life, I put myself first and decided to leave my first husband.
When I became pregnant with my third child with my then boyfriend
When I became pregnant with my fourth child when my then boyfriend (who is now my husband lol)
When my now husband and I decided to take the older kids out of public school and homeschool them
When my husband and I made the decision to move to Knoxville where we can raise our children in an open minded place.

I have been judged several times as a parent mainly because I was 18 when my first was born and because all the older people in my life, keep waiting for me to screw up somewhere. So far I don't think I have, I just keep proving them wrong.

conweis
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 1:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I a;lways feel like I am about to be hit with a pop quiz. 
I have three boys that play a lot outside a lot. I make them run around before we go shopping cause they are so hyper. People judge about their appearance (They are dirt magnets). How my oldest talks very loud, my youngest is very opinionated and my middle son seems to whine cause his voice can't be heard over the other two. Most of the time this is going on during school hours, so some people are really staring hard.
Sometimes I just want to shout. "Yes we are the freaks that homeschool our kids and don't medicate them to sit down, shut up and be still!"

Moma3boyz
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 8:54 AM
You could be describing our boys. Lol. I felt the most judged by our dr. O took them for a well child and she ask how things were at school and if their meds were still working. (I know meds;) not good). I told her they were doing good. They were med free and homeschooled. She had my son leave the room and ask me if I felt that I could really handle teaching a child whose teacher used to make him sit in the office if I forgot his medicine. They sent him home once because he was out. They told me if he didn't have it the next day to keep him home even. Any way, I told her yep and never looked back.

Quoting conweis:

I a;lways feel like I am about to be hit with a pop quiz. 
I have three boys that play a lot outside a lot. I make them run around before we go shopping cause they are so hyper. People judge about their appearance (They are dirt magnets). How my oldest talks very loud, my youngest is very opinionated and my middle son seems to whine cause his voice can't be heard over the other two. Most of the time this is going on during school hours, so some people are really staring hard.
Sometimes I just want to shout. "Yes we are the freaks that homeschool our kids and don't medicate them to sit down, shut up and be still!"

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