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Debating about homeschool

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:30 AM
  • 15 Replies

Hello...My son is 2 1/2 and I keep going back and forth about homeschooling him. I dnt like public school from my own experience..but going to school is how I met all of my friends some lifelong. So this is why I am debating the issue. I dnt want his mommy and daddy to be his only friend especially since he is the only child right now. I dnt know much about home-school starting to research...but he is already learning so much and is ahead of the curve...WHAT R UR THOUGHTS ON THIS. How do your kids socialize and make friends.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:30 AM
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by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:31 AM

Hey there :) I have a 3 yr old and a 22 mth old, and the older they get the more my friends start having babies. While only one of them will be homeschooling, I am sold on it as I love the close interaction I get with my kids, teaching them every day all day in situations etc, and making sure I instill my values in them and avoid crazy influences of other kids. I have read a bit on 'socialization', and on weekends I can do playdates with my private schoolgoing friend's kids, but during the week it is possible to join yr kids in clubs for sport and recreation, and some schools are open to outsiders. Best of both worlds :)

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:04 AM
I went to public school and I associate with zero of them besides the occasional Facebook post. I didn't have a bad experience, I just grew up and have different views than they do. I have friends now I have met through homeschool groups, natural parenting groups, etc and it's really nice having people who share the same views as you. I wouldn't not homeschool just for that reason. Especially since there are so many activities and groups where your child can still make lifelong friends :)

My daughter is friends with all the little girls in the neighborhood, some from homeschool group, and she makes new ones everytime she goes to the YMCA.
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by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:00 AM
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Honestly i think everyone worries about the socialization issue, even though intellectually we know there is no issue. But, let me tell you about my oldest son's birthday last July. He had 25 kids at his party, all but 2 were also hs. I think people have this idea of hs families never leaving the house, but the truth is hs kids are out of the house, and put into more situationsfor good socialization than PS kids are. My kids have met their BFF's through co-op, scouting, neighborhood kids, at the gym, etc. they are popular. They have developed deep and abiding friendships that don't have the same back stabbing quality that is often the result of PS which is innundated w/ peer pressure and competition.
by Platinum Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:41 AM
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Beyond just normal social interactions, my kids go to free classes and paid for classes and there are kids in the neighborhood. LOL Sometimes I think kids are coming out of the wood work!

Just ask yourself this: How well does brick and mortar school teach socialization? At what other time in life will they be put in a room with only other adults the exact same age and all be expected to perform the exact same task with no scope to actual ability? How do they learn to interact when they only have a lunch and recess to really speak to each other? What job encourages all the employees to only do as well as the basic numbers dictate? And let's not forget how public school builds a hierarchy based only on looks, meanness and athletic prowess. Kids get to shake all that off when they go off to college but the scars can last a lifetime. 8(

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:50 AM

Trust me, just because your kids don't go to public school doesn't mean they won't meet other people and form friendships!  I went to private school and I had friends, but I'm not  super close with any of them now.  But, you asked about my kids friends~my 14yo's closest friend is someone she met while doing a play in community theater.  She has several friends she met that way.  Another close friend of hers is a girl she met in a scouting group. This friend and her family also began attending our church, and now the two families are very close.

My 12yo daughter's closest friends are both members of our local homeschool group.  She also  has friends from church, from doing plays in community theater, from her Upward soccer team, and from the AWANA program she attends at a different church.

I also have a 10yo son.  His closest friend is the younger brother of my oldest daughters friend, and he has friends from church, from AWANA, and from his Upward flag football team.   None of my kids are lonley, or lacking in social skills by any means.  As a matter of fact, we sometimes struggle with TOO MUCH activity and have to cut back on some things.  Its been my experience that my homeschooled kids actually have MORE opportunity for social activity than their traditionally schooled peers.

by Group Admin on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:05 AM

 mem82 said it better than i could!  This hs thing we are doing is preparing them for world experience much more than a brick and mortar school!  Mine learn to prioritize their lessons and projects.  They learn to enjoy learning.  They learn to think outside of the box and question why we do things the way we do.  They learn to self motivate. 

Also they do not learn inside of a bubble.  My kids go to church, they are in organized sports, they take swim classes at the Y, they have many friends and they are better friends with each other than I ever was with my siblings, because they have so much time together.  I know your little one doesn't have a sibling, but that was important to me so I included it. :-)

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:10 AM

If you're a stay at home mom does that mean you don't get socialization because you're not at work with your peers? There's plenty of opportunities to socialize in life!  Public school doesn't mean tons of friends. I went to public school and I had all of one friend from kindergarten through 10th grade. My daughter is 5 and sees more kids than her public schooled cousins do. She's in dance, music, storytimes and other library classes and we go to the playground nearly every day. She also gets to talk to lots of adults, teens and other kids not in her immediate peer group. Check out your local YMCA or even the library for free classes/groups. Search here on CafeMom for local playgroups or homeschoolers (or start your own group here), also Yahoo Groups may be a good resource. Most areas also have a homeschool co-op. I found ours through the library and internet searches. We're starting kindergarten in the fall with a K12 (public e-school) program and they have group outings multiple times a year where she'll be able to meet her classmates and teacher face to face. 

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:52 AM

When DH and I were discussing HSing (our children were babies), this was his argument *for* institutional school...."well, they HAVE to go to school to make friends".  My argument back..."if this is the *only* reason you (my DH) can come up with to send them to school then, my dear, you are sending them to school for the wrong reason."

Fast forward 10 children are just as "socialized" as the next child.  We get together with other homeschoolers for field trips.  My daughters have friends in their dance and gymnastics classes.  My boys have friends in their music classes.  DH now sees how homeschoolers can be "typical" kids. :)

Check your area for local homeschooling co-ops/support groups.  They will provide endless opportunities for socialization. :)

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:21 PM

 these are great comments!

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:58 PM

I do have to agree with everyone. My children a 10, 5, and 2 yrs.  Are very active they are in swim teams, scouts, dance and gymnastics class, home schoolgroup, church activites. If anything there can be to much to do with your children. I was is ps and I was very shy. I love the fact my children know how to come out of their shells and speak with others whether it is children their own age or adults.

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