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What do you battle with being a fulltime mum?

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:25 AM
  • 24 Replies

I've been a fulltime mum for just over 3 years, and have felt a huge variety of emotions about it depending on the age of my kids, our financial situation etc. Sometimes I have felt frustrated at not being able to have any power over financial stuff as I don't earn. Soemtimes ISOLATED, undervalued and misunderstood by my working friends who can't understand why I can't be normal and put my kids in a private school and be a hardworking contributor to society.

I would looove to know what problems you guys feel/face, and how you overcome them, if you have/did :) Thanks!

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Boobah
by Nikki :) on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:00 AM
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I have struggled with the same feelings. I think it would be SO nice to have money for once instead of living paycheck to paycheck. Especially since I would make more than my husband does. I feel lonely, and sometimes don't talk to an adult all day until my husband comes home, and even then we don't get to talk much with the kids and chores to do.

So far, I have just told myself it's worth it. That one day they will be gone from home and I can have time and money then. Lol!
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Heidi778
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:04 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree :) I keep looking at the benefits, at how secure and happy teh family and kids are, and I know I wouldnt have it any other way. Then I just try to solve my issues as best I can :)

Boobah
by Nikki :) on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:08 AM
1 mom liked this
I felt the need to add to this because I left something important out.

I also take comfort in knowing how well behaved and intelligent my kids are! I get compliments on their behavior all the time, even from my mil who wasn't on board in the beginning. It's hard not to notice the difference between my kids and the other grand kids.

My dd went to public k before we started homeschooling. In that ONE year, her attitude went from good to VERY VERY bad. The things she said, how she acted, what she did, etc. she has done a 180 from last year, thank goodness, since we have been homeschooling first grade.


Quoting Heidi778:

I agree :) I keep looking at the benefits, at how secure and happy teh family and kids are, and I know I wouldnt have it any other way. Then I just try to solve my issues as best I can :)

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Rogue3
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this

I have often felt the same way. We live paycheck to paycheck as well. But there is no way that me working would help. If anything it would make things worse. The best pay I could get would be min. wage and then around my area you would only work 3 maybe 4 days a week which would pretty much cover the gas and thats it. It would take my check and then some to pay for child care. Even with the kids around me all the time, feeling lonely is something I deal with. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids with all my heart, but a stay at home mom needs adult conversatin as well.

KickButtMama
by Shannon on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this
I think we've all felt the financial pinch. I was often battling w/ being unappreciated/unvalued..then DH was laid off last year, and he finally hand hans on experiences w/ all i handle...especially w/ my oldest who has aspergers. But mostly i battle physically. I'm legally handicapped w/ a severe vascular disease, so i'm in phyical pain everyday, espeecially the more active i am. So i battle to actually leave my bed each day. I battle the guilt of the stay thought that sometimes pccurs - how much easier it would be to put them in PS, but i'm convinced we are all better off w/ hs. So i struggle on.
KickButtMama
by Shannon on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Boobah:

I have struggled with the same feelings. I think it would be SO nice to have money for once instead of living paycheck to paycheck. Especially since I would make more than my husband does. I feel lonely, and sometimes don't talk to an adult all day until my husband comes home, and even then we don't get to talk much with the kids and chores to do.

So far, I have just told myself it's worth it. That one day they will be gone from home and I can have time and money then. Lol!



I was in the same boat. I had been making nearly double what DH was bringing home. He was in insurance, i was an aeronautical engineer. But i was on call and worked like 70 hrs/week. And w/ my physical limitations i knew i couldn't keep that up and be any kind of a mother. It's been nearly 11 years and i am so thankful i chose this path.
SuperMommy408
by Tamara on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:16 PM
2 moms liked this
I have had the same feelings as you and also I feel as though my family tries to compare me to my hard working sister that puts her kids last on her list,I feel that I work just as hard, but I'm at home and my kids and my hubby are first on my list, but I guess that's not enough for them, I have learned to just ignore them this was my main battle,but sometimes it does hurt that I don't get the support I need from family I'm glad I have my hubby and my homeschool group for support sorry I started venting.
oredeb
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:57 PM
1 mom liked this

 hang in there it will come!

when i was your ages, (I just turned 53 today) i had to live paycheck to paycheck, as we got older we made wiser choices with our money and with what we thought we needed to buy!  got rid of the credit cards, paided cash for everything, paid off everything we got in debt with(it was slow but it all got paided off) and my dh started making more money, and we even bought a house

its so worth it to give up working the full time job for your kids, putting into them what you want not what the system or whatever wants, always being there for them, they do appreciate it even if they dont know how to tell you with words(they will when older),  just think of those times when they are sad and turn to mom who is there, or if they have a question , theres mom! or if they get hurt again theres mom there to help them, pick the back up! watching them grow into who they are gona be is so neat! and then when they are graduated you can get a job! or go to school or?

as to friends working, i use to feel sorry for them! not being home with their kids, watching them grow, someone else is raising there kids,

you can always find something to do from home to make money, cottage industry(do they still call it that?) my kids started businesses they made money with through out our homeschool years,

ive made money from home for years, doing various things,

mem82
by Platinum Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this

happy birthday

Quoting oredeb:

 hang in there it will come!

when i was your ages, (I just turned 53 today) i had to live paycheck to paycheck, as we got older we made wiser choices with our money and with what we thought we needed to buy!  got rid of the credit cards, paided cash for everything, paid off everything we got in debt with(it was slow but it all got paided off) and my dh started making more money, and we even bought a house

its so worth it to give up working the full time job for your kids, putting into them what you want not what the system or whatever wants, always being there for them, they do appreciate it even if they dont know how to tell you with words(they will when older),  just think of those times when they are sad and turn to mom who is there, or if they have a question , theres mom! or if they get hurt again theres mom there to help them, pick the back up! watching them grow into who they are gona be is so neat! and then when they are graduated you can get a job! or go to school or?

as to friends working, i use to feel sorry for them! not being home with their kids, watching them grow, someone else is raising there kids,

you can always find something to do from home to make money, cottage industry(do they still call it that?) my kids started businesses they made money with through out our homeschool years,

ive made money from home for years, doing various things,




mem82
by Platinum Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I struggle more with the fact that my job is never off. I am Mom, all day, every day, in and out. I get tired and the kids are all different ages so they all have different needs. Sometimes, when my husband drives off to work, where he will have a 25 minute card drive with grown up music, at work with other adults, in clothes the baby didn't snot on.... LOL I miss that. But then I remember how crappy it was for both Rob and I to work. How we never saw each other and I was still tired because I still had to get up with the babies AND then go to work.

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