Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Do you think vulnerability = weakness? Supermom society pressure anyone?

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 6:47 PM
  • 10 Replies

I have been feeling this great pressure lately to just be perfect, or to give the impression that i am, and that all my friends do that. What happened to being vulnerable, to saying hell, Im exhausted and burntout, and Im still good enough even though Im not juggling all my balls at once.  I don't think its possible to be supermom all the time, but I don't think it shows weakness when you are vulnerable, I just wish I could feel safe showing vulnerability and being real to most people I know :(

Anyone feel the same, or have any comments?

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 6:47 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Aspiemom0203
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:26 PM
2 moms liked this
Yes, yes, yes! I homeschool my DS with Aspergers, work part-time, have 2 other kids, and run around like all the other Moms! Last week was CRCTs and my 18 yr old announces he's getting married! (don't get me started on that). Needless to say my house looks like a tornado ran through it and I feel like a failure this week. I finally threw a fit today. After I cried, I pulled myself together enough to go to the store and buy a trash novel. I proceeded to lock myself in my room the rest of the day with my book in hand and leave my DH. He was appalled, but he has days off. I do not! Feeling better now. No one is perfect and neither are their kids. Moms need to stick together and quit lying. Love my fam, but I have hard days. I got your back girl!!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kittyfaery
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:36 PM
2 moms liked this
I feel the same way. And when you do try to say something no one really listens. I have arthritis and it's hard because it is invisible. And most people don't understand how exhausting chronic pain can be. Especially my husband.

Then at my mom's group I was saying something about how my youngest was making it hard to get things done lately and she said something to me like "Are you sure you want to homeschool?" I was kinda irritated. It's not about me, it's about my kids. I will make it work.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Moma3boyz
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:21 PM
Arthritis is hard! I dont have it, but my hubby does and there are days I want to sit down and cry for him.

As far as supermom goes...I am NOT her. Lol. I try at times to pretend, but usually crash and burn. I dont know who came up with the "supermom" idea, but someone should have knocked some since into her! Lol


Quoting kittyfaery:

I feel the same way. And when you do try to say something no one really listens. I have arthritis and it's hard because it is invisible. And most people don't understand how exhausting chronic pain can be. Especially my husband.



Then at my mom's group I was saying something about how my youngest was making it hard to get things done lately and she said something to me like "Are you sure you want to homeschool?" I was kinda irritated. It's not about me, it's about my kids. I will make it work.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
usmom3
by BJ on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:56 PM
I tell my family & friends all the time that I am not super women! I own that I am not perfect but do the best that I can!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bethsunshine
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 8:05 AM
2 moms liked this

One of my favorite books is "Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe" by Todd Wilson. He addresses this very issue!! For some reason, as homeschooling moms, we feel this driving need to be perfect and to portray the image of the stereotypical homeschooling mom. You know what I'm talking about :The one who wears homemade jean jumpers, has 10 kids, gets up at 4 am to slop the hogs, milk the cows and bake homemade organic bread. He encourages us to be "real" and not be afraid to admit we're not perfect. I read this book at least once a month for encouragement and renewal of my spirit.


Join us in Christian Homeschoolers!!



 


http://www.cafemom.com/group/3200

KickButtMama
by Shannon on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:13 AM
I think we all feel that way from tome to time! I grab a coffee and a goid book amd take a break!
lucsch
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Been there, done that!

At 48, I've pretty much given up on the SuperMom concept, though I still have a hard time admitting that I can't do it all, I do indeed realize it on the inside!

About 9 years ago, I gave up my career because the juggling just got to be too much. It was either my career, my kids, or my sanity! One of them had to go!

One thing that I know for sure is that no one judges ME as harshly as ME. LOL So, if my house isn't perfect, I'm really the only one who cares. Letting ME off the hook is so liberating!



oredeb
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 i dont feel the supermom thing, im not the supermom type! im to lazy! if my friends wana be sm, i say go head, but theres gona come a time when your just gona wana throw it all away and be a normal mom, doing normal stuff, not think you have to do everything or pretend to, it can come on as burnout, i tell them to plant a garden, relax! you dont have to prove yourself to anyone, i remember those supermoms when i was younger, had a job, homeschooled there kids, helped out at various functions, always had a clean house,always running around, etc,(just to think of it makes me tired, i know they were afraid to show that they were tired and needed help)  but the time came when they seen that hsing the kids, taking care of dh and asking for help was more important than proving what they could do and having it all!

maybe if you just be your self with your friends, you taking that first step,your other friends(some at least) would also do that! seems like women are always in competion with each other, trying to out do each other

kirbymom
by Sonja on Apr. 30, 2012 at 7:45 PM

 This is such a great statement, deb!  Just be yourself even if everyone else isn't.  Who has time to run the rat race anyways?  Not me.  :)   

Quoting oredeb:

maybe if you just be your self with your friends, you taking that first step,your other friends(some at least) would also do that! seems like women are always in competion with each other, trying to out do each other

 

kirbymom
by Sonja on Apr. 30, 2012 at 8:11 PM

 Even though I am a mother of 7 children, I still feel like I can always get some advice or even would love to find someone that could be there and even help just a little. We have no one and no friends close by and my husband is always working his butt off just to provide and I have no one to talk to just to relieve some pressures on me. I have a good cry and feel sorry for myself session and then I take a deep breath and pull myself together and go on with business as usual knowing that this can not last forever. It does let up at some point for a spell.  :)  

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)