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What are some of the trickiest things you’ve had to teach your kids?

Posted by on May. 11, 2012 at 1:55 AM
  • 5 Replies

6 Things That Are Hard for Moms to Teach Their Kids About The Real World

Posted by Janelle Harris on May 9, 2012 

Life lessonsParenting may not come with a manual, I get that. But it could at least come with some sort of checklist or task manager or something. Every morning is anew with things that you need to impart, a piece of wisdom you feel like you should probably drop, a do or don’t that—if not shared—may derail some socially unacceptable faux pas when they’re at their first college party or on a date with someone they, and possibly you, really like.

It’s impossible to remember to tell them everything, try as you might. Heck, sometimes it’s hard just to be sure they leave the house with their teeth brushed and their lunch in hand. But there are some key things that are a little harder to make sure the kids know before they leave the arch of safety and spoonfed lesson-learning that is your home. Mainly because they’re just tough to learn as an adult, much less a child. 

You’re not going to be good at everything. There are some things they’re going to be mediocre at, and that’s OK. Everybody can’t be a superstar at everything or there wouldn’t be any superstars.

The people in charge don’t have all the answers. How do you tell your kid that chances are, they’ll have a boss or a supervisor at some point in their working life who’s completely incompetent and isn’t qualified to manage a baseball card collection let alone a team of other people? We teach them from early on that teachers, cops, judges, even the president, are to be respected because they’re in positions of authority and have a reasonable portion of expertise to be there. But you and I both know that ain’t always true.  

Credit is golden.
I didn’t start understanding the whole FICO score thing until I was well into my 20s and had unceremoniously destroyed my credit with a Visa issued to me in my jobless, moneyless, have-a-way-to-pay-my-bill-less freshman year of college. My mom had taught me about saving (even though I didn’t do it), but she forgot about credit and even better, creditors. That one slipped through her mental cracks. I assume she was waiting until she thought I was old enough to understand and just got sidetracked by lessons about boys or parallel parking or the infestation that would certainly erupt if I didn’t clean out the dish drain or any number of other things.

What books say isn’t always true. Picking and choosing which newspapers to put faith and trust in is hard enough for an adult, let alone kids who have information coming at them from every direction. Encourage critical thinking—but let kids know they have to discuss their findings in a respectful way, to you and their teachers—and hopefully they’ll develop their own sensibilities for what’s valid.

Not everyone is going to be your friend. This one is especially tricky because in one breath, you’re convincing them how completely and totally wonderful they are, how they’re a gift to your life—and anyone else who knows them, for that matter—and how they have so many contributions just waiting to be shared with the rest of the world. But then you’ve got to turn around and let them know that not everyone is going to share that same enthusiasm about them.

You’re going to have to deal with it. Like is full of wonderful experiences and moments of blissful serenity. Those can be fleeting, however, so in the meantime, kids have to learn how to ride life out and suck it up. Seeing as how plenty of adults haven’t mastered the technique yet, it’s a toss-up whether the next gen will get the memo. All we can do is lead and hope.

What are some of the trickiest things you’ve had to teach your kids?

by on May. 11, 2012 at 1:55 AM
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Replies (1-5):
KickButtMama
by Shannon on May. 11, 2012 at 7:03 AM
I've found one of the hardest things to explain to my boys is what people really mean. My oldest has Aspergers. Due to this condition he has zero means of infering meaning from tone, facial expression or sarcasm. We live in a very sarcastic society! If someone says something sarcastically or uses a metaphor or idiom, then he gets vy confused.... Just think, how many times have you said/heard, "take a seat!" my son would literally pick up a chair and ask where he should take it. I find it so hard to explain why people don't just say what they mean!
carolkey74
by on May. 11, 2012 at 7:30 AM
Wow, do I understand! My Aspie ds has so much trouble with personal space. He will hug complete strangers, and tries to hold hands with his Sunday School classmates...even the boys. He's almost 12, and his ability to understand proper interaction with others seems to be getting worse. He also repeats himself constantly, but has no idea he's doing it, which makes it difficult to draw his attention to it. He goes back to the psychologist in a few weeks, so I will ask how to address these issues. It's a roller coaster ride, but I wouldn't change him for anything. It wears me out sometimes, tho.


Quoting KickButtMama:

I've found one of the hardest things to explain to my boys is what people really mean. My oldest has Aspergers. Due to this condition he has zero means of infering meaning from tone, facial expression or sarcasm. We live in a very sarcastic society! If someone says something sarcastically or uses a metaphor or idiom, then he gets vy confused.... Just think, how many times have you said/heard, "take a seat!" my son would literally pick up a chair and ask where he should take it. I find it so hard to explain why people don't just say what they mean!

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KickButtMama
by Shannon on May. 11, 2012 at 7:46 AM
Quoting carolkey74:


Ugh i know that feeling!! My son would be sooooo upset if some random child at the grocery store wouldn't give him a hug. I instituted a Personal Bubble. You are not allowed to invade someones invisible personal bubble without their express permission. Now, when DS is getting too close (especially with infants) i just have to say the phrase 'personal bubble' and he knows to take a half-step back. It took a lot of repetition, and his natural impulse is still to get too close, but he at least listens..I think using the 'invisible bubble' as if we are all spacemen in invisible protective spheres, helped him cuz he could visualize it.
Boobah
by Nikki :) on May. 11, 2012 at 8:24 AM
I'm having a hard time teaching my daughter to be more outgoing because I am not. She is just like me! I am also trying to show her that not everyone is nice, and some people just take advantage of you and boss you around. And that you don't have to do what everyone else wants all the time. You can sometimes just go do what you want.

(there is a little girl a few doors down who bosses and bullies everyone. She takes all the toys and tells everyone what they will be doing in her game. Julia often feels she has to do what she says, and I want her to be able to make her own decisions instead of just doing whatever this girl says)
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mem82
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2012 at 9:36 AM

Cole has a hard time understanding that his friends will lie to him. 8(

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