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Oooh! The attitude!

Posted by on May. 11, 2012 at 9:37 AM
  • 10 Replies

I realize she is 3, but have mercy.  I have no idea what I am going to do when the baby gets here.  I am a constant mediator lately between the two girls (almost 7 and just turned 3).  The 3 year old thrives on arguing.  She LOVES it and will do it about absolutely everything!  The 7 year old can't stand that the 3 year old is wrong and won't admit it, so she argues incessantly with her telling her exactly how wrong she is.  

Chelsey:  Is the light green?

Me:  No, it's red, so we have to stop.

Chelsey:  No!  It's green!


This is about every.single.thing. all day long.  

"Do you want the foot ball egg, or the yellow egg?"  

"I want the kickball egg!"

"We don't have a kickball egg, do you mean this one?"  (shows football egg)

"NO!  I want a kickball egg!"


Holy fluff I'm going to flip out today.  LOL  

by on May. 11, 2012 at 9:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
swim-mom72
by on May. 11, 2012 at 10:35 AM

(((hugs)))   In my world, age 3 and 4 were the toughest years for my boys. Have faith, you will make it through. They, however, may NOT! LOL! ....I know it is hard, but the least amount of negative reaction you have to this annoying behavior the better. Do not feed her obstinance with your anger, and teach your older daughter the same. Maybe explain to your 7 yo that she went through phases too, even give an example of something she did that you or your hubby found really annoying, and tell her to just have patience with her sister.

 

GOOD LUCK!

Boobah
by Nikki :) on May. 11, 2012 at 10:43 AM
My older daughter is a saint, seriously. Lol! She is the sweetest most patient kid ever. But she can't stand it when the younger one "lies". She is a very factual person. Haha! And she has more patience than I do, unfortunately.
I do need to work on not giving negative attention, which is difficult because she is the kind that will continue going from one bad thing to another until you give her attention. And it is never small stuff. It's like, writing on the walls or herself, jumping from the top of the couch, breaking something, etc.


Quoting swim-mom72:

(((hugs)))   In my world, age 3 and 4 were the toughest years for my boys. Have faith, you will make it through. They, however, may NOT! LOL! ....I know it is hard, but the least amount of negative reaction you have to this annoying behavior the better. Do not feed her obstinance with your anger, and teach your older daughter the same. Maybe explain to your 7 yo that she went through phases too, even give an example of something she did that you or your hubby found really annoying, and tell her to just have patience with her sister.


 


GOOD LUCK!

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oredeb
by on May. 11, 2012 at 10:53 AM

 what would happen if you didnt say a thing, and watched where the arguing goes? or you could have them go pull weeds at different places!

Boobah
by Nikki :) on May. 11, 2012 at 11:23 AM
I do that most of the time - just let them go. But in the car I get frustrated. Lol! My kids talk SO much. chelsey also gets physical, or very mean and I can't let that go.
Pulling weeds - my husband would love that! Lol! Actually, Julia would also. She pulls them... Then plants them. Ha! Drives hubby nuts but he let's her go because she is so proud.


Quoting oredeb:

 what would happen if you didnt say a thing, and watched where the arguing goes? or you could have them go pull weeds at different places!

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Saraho5
by on May. 11, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Wish I had the perfect answer, but I don't! Patience, I guess. I'm always practicing this. Lol

I think the arguing and what not is just part of life. My kiddos have three very different personalities, so I have to be careful not to pigeon hole them! I want them to appreciate their unique characteristics even though it frazzles my nerves sometimes!

Just kinda typing *outloud*. Good luck! Being a mom is the toughest job ever!

I was a middle child...just be patient (i know, easier said than done) with her ;-) & she'll come around!
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mem82
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2012 at 12:48 PM

I say Take the hard way with the 3yo. If you ask her what she wants and she refuses to answer correctly, like with the eggs, take away the choice. If you check to make sure she understands what the 2 choices are, and she still picks a 3rd,  I would just say, 'Too bad, so sad, girlie.' and not give her either. She'll pitch a fit for a couple days but then stop.

The other thing I would do, is pick something she really likes, stickers or a few M&Ms, and everytime she doesn't fight over something, put one in a jar. When she chooses to argue (No! The light IS green), tell her you are taking one away. Then after every meal, let her have all of them that she earned.  8 or so stickers or candy pieces will motivate a 3 yo in amazing ways. LOL

Boobah
by Nikki :) on May. 11, 2012 at 1:07 PM

The first part, we do.  So, if she says she wants the kick ball and I say "We don't have a kickball.  Your choices are the football, the yellow egg, or none" she will choose *normally*.  But I get tired of her always wanting something else.  At lunch it's always "I don't like turkey" and my response is always "We are having turkey, or you can not eat".  Funny thing, she always eats the turkey...  LOL  She just hates bread.  (I swear she isn't my kid.  I LOVE bread!)

The second idea is something I hadn't considered.  I guess because I am not sure she grasps the whole "waiting for something" idea.  Like, if you are good now, you can have more m&m's later.  If you aren't good, you get less m&m's.  Well, she doesn't care.  LOL  One is just as good as 10 to her, it's still a treat!  But I will have to think on this one.  What motivates her... hmmmmm....

Quoting mem82:

I say Take the hard way with the 3yo. If you ask her what she wants and she refuses to answer correctly, like with the eggs, take away the choice. If you check to make sure she understands what the 2 choices are, and she still picks a 3rd,  I would just say, 'Too bad, so sad, girlie.' and not give her either. She'll pitch a fit for a couple days but then stop.

The other thing I would do, is pick something she really likes, stickers or a few M&Ms, and everytime she doesn't fight over something, put one in a jar. When she chooses to argue (No! The light IS green), tell her you are taking one away. Then after every meal, let her have all of them that she earned.  8 or so stickers or candy pieces will motivate a 3 yo in amazing ways. LOL


Boobah
by Nikki :) on May. 11, 2012 at 1:11 PM

This is true.  I do need to practice patience.  I really think (and hope) it is the pregnancy hormones.  Normally I'm a fairly patient person.  I mean heck, I went to college and got my Early Childhood degree and did fantastic in the preschools.  LOL  But ever since I have been pregnant, my patience has gone out the window.  And it's something I need to work on, I really do.  

Someone mentioned in another post about the different personalities, and this is also true.  They are SO different, and I know sometimes I wish (and I shouldn't) that she was more compliant, like her sister is.  I try very hard not to do that, because I was always compared to my brother.  (Funny thing, now everone wishes he was more like me.  :)

Quoting Saraho5:

Wish I had the perfect answer, but I don't! Patience, I guess. I'm always practicing this. Lol

I think the arguing and what not is just part of life. My kiddos have three very different personalities, so I have to be careful not to pigeon hole them! I want them to appreciate their unique characteristics even though it frazzles my nerves sometimes!

Just kinda typing *outloud*. Good luck! Being a mom is the toughest job ever!

I was a middle child...just be patient (i know, easier said than done) with her ;-) & she'll come around!


Jinx-Troublex3
by Jinx on May. 11, 2012 at 1:37 PM
I'm sorry..I'm the hardass mom and what she is doing sounds a lot like insolence to me. I would say, " We will not argue about this" and if she insists, impose a consequence. Hard and fast with no debate. She enjoys the interaction and I would remove it.
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oredeb
by on May. 11, 2012 at 3:22 PM
1 mom liked this

 when my kids would argue and not stop they'd get spankings

and as they got older a couple of them(mostly the youngest dd would start it with oldest dd)  would argue so we had them share a bedroom together.

as adults they are the best of friends .

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