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One little reason I'm taking my DS out of Public school.

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DS is a fairly normal 9 year old boy. He likes Star Wars, Video games, and playing games that involve guns or weapons of some kind.

He has been suspended from school Monday, because he put together a few Lego's in a shape that could be thought of as a gun. He says it was a magic wand that takes the powers of people away. He was pointing it at people and making a noise that the teacher thought sounded like a gun. She asked him about it and he told her what it was. She didn't believe him, he's made guns before, and told him he wouldn't be able to play with Lego's for the rest of the year. He said "At school right? I can play with my Lego's at home if I want." So now he's suspended because they don't allow weapons of any kind, no talking about weapons, not talking about violence, and no talking about death or dieing.

I DO understand why they have that rule. Kids shoot other kids for real, just a couple of weeks ago there was a bomb at the Middle school up the street from us, and it wasn't that long ago that a boy in the third grade like DS is took a gun to school and accidentally shot another child in the stomachwhen it went off in his backpack. I think they take it a bit too far though. Kids whose parents hunt can't talk about it, DS can't talk about what his Granddaddy does because he collects and sells guns. They even prefer the kids not to talk about it when someone in their family dies.

Well, at least there are only 17 days of school left, and then we will be free.

by on May. 20, 2012 at 1:09 AM
Replies (21-30):
jacqulinej
by on May. 22, 2012 at 7:18 PM

well, i see DS as a free thinker and opened minded and the public school system does not like this. our corporations which most knows as our government which it has not been since woodrow wilson. does not want us to be free thinkers and open minded for then they cant rule or control us. and the worst weapon to me is people and the words they use, for words can harm or words can heal. i started to watch the show Touch such a good program on thursday nites with keifer sutherland and a good family show. and very scientific. the first program even tho the boy does not talk in the show he nararates during the show and the first one he talked of the billions of people on earth and how many words we use a day and he said how are those words used?.. hmmm i clapped for i have already learned about this. for the most part we have not learned how to communicate. when someone is upset about something do we get offended an attack or do we ask questions like why or what is the problem. For there is a root cause to why they are upset. The things i have learned while in like Amway when we went to conferences like how to memorize and wanted my i think back then it was $200 but that day a discount.. why not teach these kind of things in school. and i heart cuz of the cut backs art was going to be taken out of school and i learned by doing art it enhances every other subject. it is time for everyone to look up when they started the public school system and read what it says for it says if it was not working it would be dispanned and something else could be tried.. eliminate the national department of education and get it back down to the grass roots. do we really need busing now.. lets go back to the local school. some children have to ride the bus sometimes 2 hours before school and 2 hours home. 4 hours and it could be used in such a better way. at 62 i had the preveledge to go to a local school and every year the last day the whole school community and grandparents and all interested people we would have a pot luck dinner and i cherish those times so sad our children of today does not have this opportunity.

doulala
by on May. 22, 2012 at 7:53 PM
Quoting MessedUpMama:


He has been suspended from school Monday, because he put together a few Lego's in a shape that could be thought of as a gun. He says it was a magic wand that takes the powers of people away. He was pointing it at people and making a noise that the teacher thought sounded like a gun. She asked him about it and he told her what it was. She didn't believe him, he's made guns before, and told him he wouldn't be able to play with Lego's for the rest of the year. He said "At school right? I can play with my Lego's at home if I want." So now he's suspended because they don't allow weapons of any kind, no talking about weapons, not talking about violence, and no talking about death or dieing.

Hmm!    I would investigate further....
He is 9 years-old and already aware of the school rules and consequences?


She'd said no legos for the rest of the year and then decided to add larger consequences to the same offense?    Or she said that at an earlier occasion and this is the result of doing it again (where did the Legos come from, lol)?

Was there more to the story, that doesn't seem suspension-worthy...     They say he was not following rules once or twice, but maybe there were more occasions?    Or they take this rule exceptionally seriously and have made it uber-clear to families/children?



MessedUpMama
by Member on May. 23, 2012 at 1:22 AM


Hmm!    I would investigate further....
He is 9 years-old and already aware of the school rules and consequences?


She'd said no legos for the rest of the year and then decided to add larger consequences to the same offense?    Or she said that at an earlier occasion and this is the result of doing it again (where did the Legos come from, lol)?

Was there more to the story, that doesn't seem suspension-worthy...     They say he was not following rules once or twice, but maybe there were more occasions?    Or they take this rule exceptionally seriously and have made it uber-clear to families/children?

 


He is aware of the rules about weapons because he loves Star Wars. It's nearly impossible for him talk about it with our mentioning Light Sabers, so he's been told that he can't talk about weapons at school.

The teacher did say that he couldn't use Lego's for the rest of the year. The Lego's are some of the things his classroom has available for rainy day recess. He has built guns before, and been told not to. That's why he got the suspension. They, the teacher and the Principal, didn't believe that what he built wasn't a gun, even when he explained it to them. This school is the only one in this district that takes this rule so totally seriously. The kids are not allowed to pretend any kind of fighting, no Cowboys and Indians, or Cops and Robbers, or whatever they play these days. They can't use anything in anyway that might be thought of as a weapon, making a gun shape with fingers for example. They can't write or say anything that even hints at violence. And they believe that by first grade the kids should know the rules and be able to follow them all the time, even special needs kids, even kids who transfer in from different schools, all of them all the time.

My DH and I think they are taking this rule a bit too far. A stack of Lego's, with one long Lego at one end so it forms a 7, being held by the long part and waved around, doesn't seem to fit the description of a gun to us. We don't think that there needs to be such a harsh ban on weapons so that even talking about them will get a child in trouble even when the talk is generally a positive thing, like a hero defending the innocent. We hoped DS would be able to abide by the rules, even when we disagree with them. He gets obsessed with movies, cartoons, or books and finds it hard not to share with his friends at school. Right now it's Star Wars, last year it was Shark Boy and Lava Girl, sometimes it's Power Puff Girls or anything Army. DH was in the Army a few years ago so he and DS talk about the Army quite a bit.

I'm not saying that DS is a perfect kid and has never been in trouble at school before. He probably has been in more trouble this year than most kids do in all 12 years of school. He DOES know that guns and other weapons are against the rules at school, he knows he will be in trouble if he makes them or talks about them. When he gets mad he looses control and has been in trouble for that before too. THIS time he DIDN'T make a gun, he DIDN'T get mad, he DIDN'T scream or threaten or stomp his feet. But maybe because he has been in trouble before they expected him to do those things and suspended him because of past behavior. THIS time it was unfair. Beyond the fact that I disagree with rule anyway. This is just one LITTLE thing, along with several other things that has firmed my resolve to take DS out of Public School for at least next year, if not for ever.

chlippr77
by Member on May. 23, 2012 at 2:57 AM

You know, a well renowned "authourity" of early education behavior managment, Dr. Becky Bailey, once did an interview in which she did a demonstration of why the way most instutions are handling discipline incorrectly.  The interviewer asked her what she meant by, the rules consistently sending the wrong message to the children. Dr. Bailey placed her hand on the interviewer's arm, looked her right in the eye and said in a wonderfully calm voice, "We are going to have a rule that you are absolutely never to think about a purple dinosaur."  After a few seconds she asked the interviewer, "What are you thinking about?" to which she recieved the reply, "A purple dinosaur."  Dr. Bailey said, "See, that's why they {institutions} are wrong."  By telling children they can't talk (or in some cases, think) about any issue, just causes them to visualize that issue all the more.  Gun safety should be discussed in schools.  If the teacher and principle had concern with his contruction with the legos, they should have used it as a teaching opportunity to reinforce the proper handling of guns, i.e. "Remember Billy, that we must always point things liike that away from other people."  Telling children what we expect, rather than what we forbid causes them to think about what actions they should do and not about what actions will cause them to be in trouble. (Sorry, I used to work for a Head Start.  I always found it to be hillarious that we would spend two days discussing implementing Dr. Bailey's philosophies in our classrooms, but we were instructed to react the same way you son's teachers reacted, I didn't, but we were supposed to.)

BTW: Are you still thinking about the "purple dinosaur"? I know I was after I watched that interview :)

charliebean
by on May. 23, 2012 at 3:20 AM
Because guns don't exist and dying isn't a real thing? Stupid.
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MessedUpMama
by Member on May. 23, 2012 at 6:03 PM


Quoting chlippr77:

You know, a well renowned "authourity" of early education behavior managment, Dr. Becky Bailey, once did an interview in which she did a demonstration of why the way most instutions are handling discipline incorrectly.  The interviewer asked her what she meant by, the rules consistently sending the wrong message to the children. Dr. Bailey placed her hand on the interviewer's arm, looked her right in the eye and said in a wonderfully calm voice, "We are going to have a rule that you are absolutely never to think about a purple dinosaur."  After a few seconds she asked the interviewer, "What are you thinking about?" to which she recieved the reply, "A purple dinosaur."  Dr. Bailey said, "See, that's why they {institutions} are wrong."  By telling children they can't talk (or in some cases, think) about any issue, just causes them to visualize that issue all the more.  Gun safety should be discussed in schools.  If the teacher and principle had concern with his contruction with the legos, they should have used it as a teaching opportunity to reinforce the proper handling of guns, i.e. "Remember Billy, that we must always point things liike that awayfrom other people."  Telling children what we expect, rather than what we forbid causes them to think about what actions they should do and not about what actions will cause them to be in trouble. (Sorry, I used to work for a Head Start.  I always found it to be hillarious that we would spend two days discussing implementing Dr. Bailey's philosophies in our classrooms, but we were instructed to react the same way you son's teachers reacted, I didn't, but we were supposed to.)

BTW: Are you still thinking about the "purple dinosaur"? I know I was after I watched that interview :)

Now that you mention it, this is very strongly true for DS. Sometimes it's on purpose, for example he just learned that "I'm the bomb!" means that you think you are pretty cool/with it/ special/ or whatever. So not he can legitimately use the word bomb at school. SMH. If he isn't allowed to do something or say certain words or play in a certain way he seems to be compelled to try to do it anyway. We don't have much of a problem at home with him talking too much about weapons, or being too aggressive when he's playing with other kids which seems to be what they think will happen if he doesn't stop talking about and making toy guns or other weapons. We don't have that kind of rule at home, we talk about almost anything and he has toy weapons he can play with whenever he isn't doing school work or chores. He doesn't even play with them all that much now days, less than once a week. Maybe I'll make a copy of that for his school and give it to them as a going away present. =)

chlippr77
by Member on May. 24, 2012 at 11:56 AM

They can look her up on YouTube, or her website www.ConsciousDiscipline.com

I can't say I agree with everything she says, but it will make a person think.  And not just about a purple dinosaur ;)

Quoting MessedUpMama:


Quoting chlippr77:

You know, a well renowned "authourity" of early education behavior managment, Dr. Becky Bailey, once did an interview in which she did a demonstration of why the way most instutions are handling discipline incorrectly.  The interviewer asked her what she meant by, the rules consistently sending the wrong message to the children. Dr. Bailey placed her hand on the interviewer's arm, looked her right in the eye and said in a wonderfully calm voice, "We are going to have a rule that you are absolutely never to think about a purple dinosaur."  After a few seconds she asked the interviewer, "What are you thinking about?" to which she recieved the reply, "A purple dinosaur."  Dr. Bailey said, "See, that's why they {institutions} are wrong."  By telling children they can't talk (or in some cases, think) about any issue, just causes them to visualize that issue all the more.  Gun safety should be discussed in schools.  If the teacher and principle had concern with his contruction with the legos, they should have used it as a teaching opportunity to reinforce the proper handling of guns, i.e. "Remember Billy, that we must always point things liike that awayfrom other people."  Telling children what we expect, rather than what we forbid causes them to think about what actions they should do and not about what actions will cause them to be in trouble. (Sorry, I used to work for a Head Start.  I always found it to be hillarious that we would spend two days discussing implementing Dr. Bailey's philosophies in our classrooms, but we were instructed to react the same way you son's teachers reacted, I didn't, but we were supposed to.)

BTW: Are you still thinking about the "purple dinosaur"? I know I was after I watched that interview :)

Now that you mention it, this is very strongly true for DS. Sometimes it's on purpose, for example he just learned that "I'm the bomb!" means that you think you are pretty cool/with it/ special/ or whatever. So not he can legitimately use the word bomb at school. SMH. If he isn't allowed to do something or say certain words or play in a certain way he seems to be compelled to try to do it anyway. We don't have much of a problem at home with him talking too much about weapons, or being too aggressive when he's playing with other kids which seems to be what they think will happen if he doesn't stop talking about and making toy guns or other weapons. We don't have that kind of rule at home, we talk about almost anything and he has toy weapons he can play with whenever he isn't doing school work or chores. He doesn't even play with them all that much now days, less than once a week. Maybe I'll make a copy of that for his school and give it to them as a going away present. =)

startupscafe
by on May. 25, 2012 at 11:52 AM

I remember in high school when teen boys would drive their pickup trucks to school with shotguns hung in the back window.  There were NO school shootings then.  Something was different then.  

THINK:  What would a criminal think of when he sees a sign saying "gun-free zone"?

Someone breaking into your house would be more afraid of you, the homeowner, owning a gun, while they are NOT afraid of the police officer 5 miles away.  That is why most break-ins happen while the homeowners are not at home.


mem82
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2012 at 1:29 PM

Honestly, I don't believe in out of school suspensions for 6th grade and under. Why not have him write lines or an essay over the weekend and make him read it to the class? By telling a child they are 'bad' and giving them no chance to rectify it, the teacher is doing nothing but teaching that child that they are and always will be 'bad'. Why not discuss how a wand that takes away someone's powers could be a weapon and almost gun like since a bullet can take someone's life? What will he learn about the situation at home? What if he *had* a bad home life? The school is being lazy, in my opinion.

mem82
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2012 at 1:35 PM


Quoting doulala:

Quoting MessedUpMama:


He has been suspended from school Monday, because he put together a few Lego's in a shape that could be thought of as a gun. He says it was a magic wand that takes the powers of people away. He was pointing it at people and making a noise that the teacher thought sounded like a gun. She asked him about it and he told her what it was. She didn't believe him, he's made guns before, and told him he wouldn't be able to play with Lego's for the rest of the year. He said "At school right? I can play with my Lego's at home if I want." So now he's suspended because they don't allow weapons of any kind, no talking about weapons, not talking about violence, and no talking about death or dieing.

Hmm!    I would investigate further....
He is 9 years-old and already aware of the school rules and consequences?


She'd said no legos for the rest of the year and then decided to add larger consequences to the same offense?    Or she said that at an earlier occasion and this is the result of doing it again (where did the Legos come from, lol)?

Was there more to the story, that doesn't seem suspension-worthy...     They say he was not following rules once or twice, but maybe there were more occasions?    Or they take this rule exceptionally seriously and have made it uber-clear to families/children?



Zero tolerance means that there doesn't have to be a previous issue, sadly. While that's not the exact  case here, what is clear that he wasn't making a gun and the teacher chose to call him a liar. A nine year can understand not to make a gun, but isn't mature enough to equate a wand as the same thing. Heck, lots of kids don't believe that if they make a laser gun, that it is equal to a 'regular gun'.



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