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Self Esteem and Self Confidence.....

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 12:47 AM
  • 8 Replies

 How much of an improvement has your children's self esteem and self confidence come along since homeschooling them? Do they still struggle? 

 What advice would you give to a homeschooling parent who is struggling to help build their child(ren)"s self esteem and self confidence?  

by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 12:47 AM
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by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 1:11 PM


dont mommy your child, if the child is in the wrong let them know it, praise what the child does even if its just a little bit, those little bits add up! little steps help a lot to building the self esteem and self conf.

by Jinx on Jun. 2, 2012 at 11:17 PM
Set reasonable goals..make them attainable with effort. It is through struggling and then succeeding that DS has progressed the most.
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by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 12:23 AM
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I believe that sincere praise is very important to building a child's self esteem. 

Take one day and center it around your child and ask them to tell you what do they like about themselves, ans what makes them special.

by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Self esteem and confidence are very important to me. Maybe THE most important. I, personally, feel that lacking in self-image is what leads to kids falling for peer pressure, not being successful and not being happy. I'm not talking about narcissism though. In America these days kids have praise helped on them, whether they did a good job or not. Shoot, even sports are starting to not award the truly skilled and gifted, so as to not hurt the feelings of the kids who lost. IMO this just promotes more mediocrity and doesn't help self image. I highly encourage writing in a Positivity Journal each night. The student has to put at least 1 thing they loved about the self that day. they can write about specific things from that day, but the whole point of the journal is to start looking within oneself for praise and criticism.

Here are my top 4 tips for building self-esteem.

1) set small goals. Teach the kids to set and achieve small goals. I like to have my daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals. We have posters we make and put up in our rooms. When we complete or achieve a goal it feels great to cross one out!
2) don't LET them win. Believe it or not, I believe learning to lose if waaaaay more important to having a healthy self-image than winning does. So when I play a game with my boys (almost every night) I never just LET them win. This makes their sense of achievement greater if hey do beat me, but we also discuss prioritizing events in our life. Losing a game is not a monumental event - it doesn't cure cancer, it doesn't feed the needy, and it won't end your life. Learning to lose and still compliment the winner is a sign of fantastic self image.
3) I bite my tongue rather than giving profuse praise. If I start lathering n the praise for every little thing, then the child will learn to always took for outside validation. Instead I usually ask them, how did that feel? And then I say great job and leave it at that. Then I usually encourage them to make a page in their journal dedicated to the game. I ask them to answer 3 things in their journal - 1, what did you do, 2. What did you do really well. 3. What could you improve on.
4) I have the kids prioritize their daily goals. Some things they have to get done each day, but some can wait. So they have to learn the important from the non-important. They first give their goals a letter classification from A-D, A things are things that will literally kill you if they are not completed - like taking medicines. There shouldn't be many A's. B's are stuff you really, really need to do that day like keeping that dentist appt. C things are stuff you should get to that day, they are of medium- low importance, this is where school work goes. D things you want to do that day, but if you don't get to them that is perfectly fine. Playing games goes on the D list. Then within each letter the kids prioritize using numbers from 1 - 10, with one being the most important thing on the list. This is teaching the child that everything is not of equal importance,

I've also written some articles on the subject -

by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 9:29 AM

Interestingly enough, if we over protect our children, or if we under protect them, the results are they same; low self esteem.  If children learn that they have the ability within themselves to overcome, it builds confidence and self esteem. 

by Member on Jun. 3, 2012 at 11:12 PM
How old are the kids? Mine are still young. They have award binders. They get stickers when they do good on their work, or write something particularly well. Instead of putting a sticker on a worksheet that would be lost in the shuffle, they have a "good job stickers" sheet in their binder, they can see the accumulation of their accomplishments.
I also had to encourage my 6yo to think for herself and stop saying she didn't know how or couldn't think of anything. So I created stickers from mailing labels that say "I did it all by myself" and "I figured it out on my own!". After her first one, she's been remarkable in writing her own creative/descriptive sentences. She is very proud of the things she can do on her own.
My just-turned 4 year old was actually the reason I started the stickers. He jumps at doing school and following directions. They get stickers for day-to-day work or activities and when they complete a concept or subject, they get awards-- some prited and some hand-made. They all go into their award binder. They pull it out and show the grandparents all their accomplishments: "I know my letters" or "I excel at addition" etc.
We love on them every day, giving them praise and whatnot, but giving them something tangible to remind them of their accomplishments and/or abilities have worked wonders!
by on Jun. 4, 2012 at 7:39 AM
My daughter had serious confidence issues in public k last year. She has gotten so much better, but still struggles a bit in certain situations. It was so bad that we couldn't even go to a family birthday without her bursting into tears and crying the entire time until we left. She would cry every day at school.
Now, she hasn't done that for a long time. She did get nervous and couldn't hold it in while we were waiting for the dr at her well check, but in her defense, she hasn't had a well check since she was 4. We don't go to the doctor, just the chiro, unless absolutely necessary.
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by Group Admin on Jun. 4, 2012 at 7:53 AM

 When we first pulled ds we began using 2 mottoes at the beginning of every lesson or test....

This is easy-peasy-lemon-squeasy.  AND Tests are no big deal.

Public schools really push this idea that if you fail this test or you get this problem wrong it is a slippery slope to flipping burgers for the rest of your life.  At the beginning he would nearly throw up when I told him something was a test.  Now we call them show you knows or assessments.  "Assessments only assess whether you need to do more with this lesson or can go on to the next and show you knows just give me a chance to brag you up since you already know it."  I give this explanation each time we backslide.

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