Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Tips on working on focus?

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 8:52 PM
  • 21 Replies
I think I have asked this before, but I cant find it.

My almost 7 year old is a great kid and super smart. However, her focus is not there. You tell her to brush her teeth and, if she makes it to the bathroom without getting side tracked, she will play, look in the mirror, etc for forever instead of brushing.

Help! I cant get anything accomplished because I am always waiting!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 8:52 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Boobah
by Nikki :) on Jul. 16, 2012 at 8:54 PM
Adding - yet she can read an entire chapter book, or two, in a few hours.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
irvinehiker
by Andrea on Jul. 16, 2012 at 9:28 PM
1 mom liked this

 It sounds like you just described my dd!!  She is almost 11, and it does get better with time.  These days I'm still waiting, but not nearly as long as I was a couple of years ago.  I do not know any magic cure.  However having a plan for when she is doing tasks can help, and have her repeat it back to you.  You can say "dd I need you to do 1__, 2__, 3__.  Now what did I ask you to do?"  For some reason having my dd say it out loud back to me helped.  Good luck! 

KickButtMama
by Shannon on Jul. 17, 2012 at 7:43 AM
1 mom liked this
It helped my son, who has aspergers so he has trouble following directions, to have visual cues (like a pictograph displaying what to do for brushing teeth. We reinforced the pictograph with counting or singing - so they know to brush their teeth by counting to 120 or singing happy birthday twice. Also we have to keep instructions to short 5 word or less sentences - insteead of "Clean your room" we do "all the socks go in this basket" and for the rest of the tie we use our behavior bucks chart.
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:00 AM

We use a checklist for bedtime routine and morning routine.  I hand out the checklist and they go off to do it all.  I even have pics for my 3 and 5 yos.  At this point, they know what they need to do and they do it.  They get rewarded on their chore chart for having it all done.  In the morning it is: get dressed, make bed, use bathroom, eat breakfast, put dishes in dishwasher and brush teeth.  Now I can DO things while all of that is happening.  I no longer feel as though I'm constantly waiting.It's witten down, so they can't "forget" a step.

Oh the bedtime routine begins after bath and it is: pajamas, snack, brush teeth, fill water bottle, use toilet, and one of them gets to pick out bedtime story.  We usually hit the bedroom around the same time!

Boobah
by Nikki :) on Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:17 AM
Thank you for the reminder! This is something I know, but forget to do. It does help to have her repeat it back.

Quoting irvinehiker:

 It sounds like you just described my dd!!  She is almost 11, and it does get better with time.  These days I'm still waiting, but not nearly as long as I was a couple of years ago.  I do not know any magic cure.  However having a plan for when she is doing tasks can help, and have her repeat it back to you.  You can say "dd I need you to do 1__, 2__, 3__.  Now what did I ask you to do?"  For some reason having my dd say it out loud back to me helped.  Good luck! 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Boobah
by Nikki :) on Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:19 AM
I have to break things down also, though she is getting better about that. Now I can say "tidy your room" without saying "pick up this, put it there..." I'm thankful for that, it I still have to do it for the 3 yo.


Quoting KickButtMama:

It helped my son, who has aspergers so he has trouble following directions, to have visual cues (like a pictograph displaying what to do for brushing teeth. We reinforced the pictograph with counting or singing - so they know to brush their teeth by counting to 120 or singing happy birthday twice. Also we have to keep instructions to short 5 word or less sentences - insteead of "Clean your room" we do "all the socks go in this basket" and for the rest of the tie we use our behavior bucks chart.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Boobah
by Nikki :) on Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:25 AM
She has a chore checklist on her wall that is divided up into morning, school, and night. It worked great for about two weeks until she missed a couple checks and got x's which meant no reward. Now she has more x's than checks. I am getting tired of seeing her mess around and saying "what else do you need to do?" she doesn't have a lot of chores, they are all regular tasks mostly.

Her day:

Feed dog
Brush teeth
Brush hair
Get dressed

Do handwriting
Workbook page
Reading eggs lesson
Change calendar

Feed dog
Get pj's on
Brush teeth
Tidy room before bed


I think I'm missing one, but seriously, these aren't even chores. Lol! I started off easy hoping to add more once she got the hang of it. She is very checklist motivated, but the past few days her friends have been outside so she goes out there and doesn't get her chores done on time.


Quoting bluerooffarm:

We use a checklist for bedtime routine and morning routine.  I hand out the checklist and they go off to do it all.  I even have pics for my 3 and 5 yos.  At this point, they know what they need to do and they do it.  They get rewarded on their chore chart for having it all done.  In the morning it is: get dressed, make bed, use bathroom, eat breakfast, put dishes in dishwasher and brush teeth.  Now I can DO things while all of that is happening.  I no longer feel as though I'm constantly waiting.It's witten down, so they can't "forget" a step.


Oh the bedtime routine begins after bath and it is: pajamas, snack, brush teeth, fill water bottle, use toilet, and one of them gets to pick out bedtime story.  We usually hit the bedroom around the same time!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:36 AM

 What is the reward?  How many checks does she need to get the reward?  We don't put any x's, only smiley faces.  They each have a number of smiles they need to be rewarded at the end of the week.  Only my middle boy realized that he could do everything on his list for the first 6 days and then not do ANYTHING on Sunday and still get rewarded!  We are going on 18 months at this point.  We started with little rewards (extra bedtime story, pick dessert, movie at the rental place, etc) then if they do it for a month solid they get a bigger reward, at this point they all made it 4 months in a row and we went on a weekend trip to Baltimore.It's been so worth the money spent, since the house is just better to live in (I'm a yeller, and my nerves could not take retelling them a million times!!)

Good Luck!  I hope you find a system that works for you!

Quoting Boobah:

She has a chore checklist on her wall that is divided up into morning, school, and night. It worked great for about two weeks until she missed a couple checks and got x's which meant no reward. Now she has more x's than checks. I am getting tired of seeing her mess around and saying "what else do you need to do?" she doesn't have a lot of chores, they are all regular tasks mostly.

Her day:

Feed dog
Brush teeth
Brush hair
Get dressed

Do handwriting
Workbook page
Reading eggs lesson
Change calendar

Feed dog
Get pj's on
Brush teeth
Tidy room before bed


I think I'm missing one, but seriously, these aren't even chores. Lol! I started off easy hoping to add more once she got the hang of it. She is very checklist motivated, but the past few days her friends have been outside so she goes out there and doesn't get her chores done on time.


Quoting bluerooffarm:

We use a checklist for bedtime routine and morning routine.  I hand out the checklist and they go off to do it all.  I even have pics for my 3 and 5 yos.  At this point, they know what they need to do and they do it.  They get rewarded on their chore chart for having it all done.  In the morning it is: get dressed, make bed, use bathroom, eat breakfast, put dishes in dishwasher and brush teeth.  Now I can DO things while all of that is happening.  I no longer feel as though I'm constantly waiting.It's witten down, so they can't "forget" a step.


Oh the bedtime routine begins after bath and it is: pajamas, snack, brush teeth, fill water bottle, use toilet, and one of them gets to pick out bedtime story.  We usually hit the bedroom around the same time!

 

Boobah
by Nikki :) on Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:41 AM
I buy little things and put them in gift bags, she gets to pick a gift bag so the reward is a surprise - but that is how she wanted it. She needs 7 days of no x's (cumulative, not in a row) to get the bag. I actually didn't do the x's, she wanted a way of knowing she didn't do it that day and started putting x's so she could tell. She gets check marks, and for each day she has all checks, she gets a start. 7 stars - reward.

I'm a yeller too, but am improving. My 3 year old is killing me. Lol


Quoting bluerooffarm:

 What is the reward?  How many checks does she need to get the reward?  We don't put any x's, only smiley faces.  They each have a number of smiles they need to be rewarded at the end of the week.  Only my middle boy realized that he could do everything on his list for the first 6 days and then not do ANYTHING on Sunday and still get rewarded!  We are going on 18 months at this point.  We started with little rewards (extra bedtime story, pick dessert, movie at the rental place, etc) then if they do it for a month solid they get a bigger reward, at this point they all made it 4 months in a row and we went on a weekend trip to Baltimore.It's been so worth the money spent, since the house is just better to live in (I'm a yeller, and my nerves could not take retelling them a million times!!)


Good Luck!  I hope you find a system that works for you!


Quoting Boobah:

She has a chore checklist on her wall that is divided up into morning, school, and night. It worked great for about two weeks until she missed a couple checks and got x's which meant no reward. Now she has more x's than checks. I am getting tired of seeing her mess around and saying "what else do you need to do?" she doesn't have a lot of chores, they are all regular tasks mostly.

Her day:

Feed dog
Brush teeth
Brush hair
Get dressed

Do handwriting
Workbook page
Reading eggs lesson
Change calendar

Feed dog
Get pj's on
Brush teeth
Tidy room before bed


I think I'm missing one, but seriously, these aren't even chores. Lol! I started off easy hoping to add more once she got the hang of it. She is very checklist motivated, but the past few days her friends have been outside so she goes out there and doesn't get her chores done on time.



Quoting bluerooffarm:


We use a checklist for bedtime routine and morning routine.  I hand out the checklist and they go off to do it all.  I even have pics for my 3 and 5 yos.  At this point, they know what they need to do and they do it.  They get rewarded on their chore chart for having it all done.  In the morning it is: get dressed, make bed, use bathroom, eat breakfast, put dishes in dishwasher and brush teeth.  Now I can DO things while all of that is happening.  I no longer feel as though I'm constantly waiting.It's witten down, so they can't "forget" a step.



Oh the bedtime routine begins after bath and it is: pajamas, snack, brush teeth, fill water bottle, use toilet, and one of them gets to pick out bedtime story.  We usually hit the bedroom around the same time!


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:49 AM

 Yep, my 3 yo is killing me too!  He's a climber, he has NO FEAR, and he knows every button to push.  I got a whistle, so now when the stress is building I let out a whistle.  I feel better, they know I'm ready to lose it and stop for a minute, and I haven't yelled in 2 weeks!  I think that's the longest since Quentin started crawling!  LOL

Quoting Boobah:

I buy little things and put them in gift bags, she gets to pick a gift bag so the reward is a surprise - but that is how she wanted it. She needs 7 days of no x's (cumulative, not in a row) to get the bag. I actually didn't do the x's, she wanted a way of knowing she didn't do it that day and started putting x's so she could tell. She gets check marks, and for each day she has all checks, she gets a start. 7 stars - reward.

I'm a yeller too, but am improving. My 3 year old is killing me. Lol


Quoting bluerooffarm:

 

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)