Have you noticed little girls' clothing that looks too sexy?
Moms Aren't to Blame When Their Daughters Wear Sexy Clothes
Are your daughter's clothes too sexy? A new study shows that about 30 percent of girls' clothing, even for toddlers, is sexualizing.
Social psychologist Sarah Murnen asked independent adults to review
clothing for girls from 15 major retailers and rate how sexualizing they
found it. Whether it was because of slinky, lingerie-like fabric or a
cut that emphasized a girl's chest, nearly a third of those clothes read
as "sexy" to the adult raters. Even when the outfit included childish
details like ruffles and polka-dots!
Not a big deal? I guess not, as long as you think eating disorders, low self-esteem, or depression aren't a big deal, either. But I think most of us want to raise strong, healthy daughters.
Girls who buy into sexualizing messages about themselves tend to have lower self-esteem and are more likely to suffer from depression and eating disorders (this according to a 2007 task force of the American Psychological Association). The clothes girls wear can play a big role in how sexualized they feel -- and from a very young age. So if this study is anything to go by, parents should buy more of their kids' clothes at Target and Gymboree and stay the hell out of Abercrombie Kids. (You're shocked by that last one, right? Eyeroll.)
But wait -- Murnen says we shouldn't be so quick to blame parents about this. Channel your outrage toward the marketers of girls' clothing, instead. "Blaming the parents is exactly what the marketers want you to do," she said. "They spend $12 billion getting your kids to want the things you don't want them to have, and then they blame you for buying them."
Yeah, and we love that game! When people scold parents and ask, "Is it really so hard just to make better shopping choices?" I always want to reply, "Is it really so hard to just make BETTER STUFF?!?" Because what goes through a clothing designer's head when they put "hot stuff" in sexy script on a toddler's dress? Making their mortgage payments, I guess, but I still think it sucks. Our girls deserve better than this.
Have you noticed little girls' clothing that looks too sexy?
I've had to search high and low to find appropriate clothing for my 12- and 14-year-old daughters for years, but Goodwill almost always comes through for us. We also have great success in Target and JCP for the 12-year-old, but not for much longer at JCP, because she's on the brink with kid vs. teen sizes. She's tall and thin.
JCP for teens girls, on the otherhand, is a real disappointment. Everything seems to be of the short, low, and tight variety as in not enough fabric.
One thing that my 12-year-old does (all on her own) is wears leggings under skirts or dresses that whose lifetime she'd like to "extend" a bit longer. She really loves kiddie clothes (ruffles, glitter, various characters), but due to her size, there's really not much of it out there. When shirts are too small, however, she just can't wear them anymore. The way we test for appropriate sizing is that if you raise your hands above your head and we can see your belly button, it's too small. LOL!
I agree with a PP who said that we shouldn't just buy the things. If we continue to buy skimpy clothing, the retailers will keep selling it, but if we take a stand and stop buying that mess, perhaps they'll get the message and offer more modest clothing. DH and I have walked out of stores dozens of tims, empty-handed, because we couldn't find what we were willing to let our girls wear.
The same goes for our boys; no loose, baggy clothing. We had that experience this weekend searching for denim shorts for our 16-year-old. The mall was a joke. Appropriate choices were eventually found at Target. Lesson learned.
Pretty purple shirt 2T. kinda cut down in a little V in the back, puffy sleeves. Something just didn't look right about it but I got it anyways. It looked small but I she wasn't with me so I thought it was just my imagination.
I get home and put it on her. The V goes in the front, It's a form fitting 1/2 shirt, that makes her look like she has something up top, Because the bottom is like tight. Umm no. That's the last time I'm shopping there. It was over an hour away, so I don't see me going back anyways.
We are more of jeans and tee shirt type people. I could care less about a name on our cloths. DD is already a little Tom boy.
My girls are not allowed to wear those clothes. They are also not allowed to own barbies or dolls dressed that way.
oh gosh yes! I have a 3yr old DD and I refuse to buy those "sexy"styles. I find it so weird they sell those for little girls. I found a link a few weeks ago on how to make dresses more modest(buying big for length, take it in and use the extra fabric to make sleeves), now I just need to learn how to sew! I am glad DD is such a skinny little runt. It makes it so I can put pants on her that are really too short for her to wear as pants as capris(think 18mo size on a 3yr old). She also wears her brothers old hand me down shorts for that added length. Seriously those shorts they sell for girls are short butt huggers.
I know there are some that are that way. They make half tops for smaller children, leather skirts and skin tight-see through blouses, but I don't buy those items for my girls; thankfully they don't like those styles too.
My girls are very skinny and unfortunately not even a bit ugly. I've had a parent say that their shorts should come past their knees because their legs need to be covered more since they're so long legged. I had one mom say my daughter's hair is sexually appealing and should be cut. After that comment I did get to thinking at just what others would consider sexy the eyes, hair, legs...
I will let my children wear clothes that cover them, have hair styles they feel good in and I will just stick to teaching modesty and to respect their own body and not to let others disrespect or belittle what they have.
I don't have a girl, but I know that if I ever do I am going to be very particular about her close. I want to protect her innocence.
btw, I think its true that girls will want to look up to their mommies, and dress like them. So, I also try and be cautious of what I wear (like I said I on;y have boys, but Ithink its good for me to dress that way with them as well).
Yes, I've noticed that for a long time. My dd9 has been wearing dresses that I've made her for years. She is just now asking to wear tops and jeans or pants, but she is very selective. I have to say, this is all by her choice, not mine. Thankfully, I don't have to fight that battle with her. She seems to be modest, by nature.
One part of my online business is making clothing for girls. I'm not a prude really, but little girls should look like little girls, not well something I'd rather not type!
You could also make t-shirt dresses easily enough. Here's one I made quite a while back:
Crop a t-shirt,
allowing a seam allowance to sew the skirt onto the tee. Usually you
want this to end up just above the waistline.
Determine length
and cut the skirt fabric. Don't forget the seam allowance and hem
allowance. Trim the width to 2x the circumference of the cropped edge of
the t-shirt.
Make a back seam in the skirt fabric so it is a tube shape, for little girls, or make side seams for bigger girls.
Hem the bottom edge of the skirt. Gather the top edge of your skirt fabric.
Sew the gathered edge to the cropped tee.
IMPORTANT!
Make sure you use a KNIT needle in your sewing machine when sewing
anything knit. Otherwise, your knit t-shirt will end up with holes in
it. If your sewing machine has a knit stitch, you should use that to sew
the skirt onto the t-shirt. To keep the t-shirt from stretching out as
you are sewing, pin the gathered skirt every inch or so to the t-shirt.
Remove the pins right before you sew up to each pin. If you still have
trouble, sew both layers atop tissue paper or a tear-away stabilizer,
which you can tear away after you are finished.
Make a simple skirt, similar to this one (it has a band along the bottom but basically the same idea):
To make a
skirt, use the width of the fabric and cut a length, allowing about
1-1/4" for an elastic casing and another 1-1/4" for a hem.
Sew a back seam to make a tube from the fabric.
Hem
up the bottom edge. Do the same with the top, but leave an opening to
insert a length of 3/4" non-roll elastic (cut the length about 1"
smaller than your daughter's waist).
Use a safety pin to thread
the elastic through and overlap the edges about 3/4". Safety pin the
elastic together. At this point, you should try the skirt on your dd and
adjust the elastic if necessary.
After the adjustment, sew through the overlapped elastic, being careful to back-stitch well.
Finish stitching down your casing.
This
works for girls up to about 4 or 5. Beyond that you will need to piece
two widths together to get the extra fullness for the bigger sizes.
Oh, and here is one that shows the type I make my dd:
It is basically any peasant type top pattern cropped with a 2x full skit attached. I use binding for the sleeves and hem as that requires the least ironing!
Decision Made...I will be full time homeschooling this year!
- Cafe Amber
on Jul. 24, 2012 at 5:41 AM