Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

We have neighbor. He doesn't really live near us, but this is a private community and we see him at the pond or walking his dog. He is an older guy, very well off, and seemingly nice. My kids really like him...and the dog. But he is constantly, and maybe not even consciously, dissing my front of them!!!!

Both my kids have always had high voices. DS(5)'s voice is getting much lower but DD(4)'s is still pretty high. Today, DD told the neighbor that she was now riding horses and he said to me "can the horse understand her"? Not 5 minutes later, the neighbor was talking to DS and he copied something DS said, lisp like and half laughing., and then asked me if the lisp was new!!!! DS doesn't even lisp much. Fast forward 10 minutes and the neighbor asked DS if he was finally starting school this year. Mind you, he has been told many time that we homeschool. Am I wrong to be upset? I really want to avoid him now, but that seems petty to me. Thought?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Aug. 17, 2012 at 8:39 PM
Replies (11-17):
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 11:26 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think you are being petty at all.  I think you should avoid him.  In my own life, I have had family members that we have avoided because they were constantly "downing" or comparing my kids to other kids IN FRONT OF MY KIDS!  oh no buster, if you can't control your tongue, then I will control the amount of time my kids spend around you. Period.  That's my point of view though as some people say that family is family and you never stop being family.  I agree but I don't have to see you or be around you to be family.  My point is that you may be neighbors and being cordial and kind is a given to neighbors BUT you don't have to be around them more than necessary.

by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 11:32 AM

 and maybe he doesnt know how to be around kids?

by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 3:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I have had neighbors that I don't agree with but respectfully ignore and avoid and make sure the kids do the same.  You can't make somebody change or see you the way you want, but you can deny their existence.

That neighbor would have been on my avoid/ignore list after the first time he'd acted that way in front of my children.  To keep peace in a neighborhood I do avoid confrontation because it inevitably can cause a rift with you and multiple neighbors that decide to take sides in the neighborhood which can effect the children.  IMO he sounds immature and I wouldn't want my children to consider that alright behavior so I'd let them know not to approach or talk to him and the reason why.

by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 5:55 PM

The only thing that bugs me is making fun of the way that the kids speak! There is never a reason to make fun of a child's voice or speech impediment! My oldest had a stutter that was bad when he was younger (it was actually what he was bullied about that caused us to pull him from PS) and had anyone, ever mocked him in my hearing I would have ripped them a new one!

I would try to avoid him, but if you can't, just let it go UNLESS it happens again. Then I would let him have it.

Oh, and as for asking about school, it could be that he is being snarky, but he could just forget that you HS. My hubby has fmaily that forget, and every Christmas the kids get asked about school. Every. Year. It's a little old, haha.

by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 11:32 PM
Avoid. He may not even realize what it is hes doing. Some old people are ornery and you never know what hes been thru in life. He may be a war vet or something.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Bronze Member on Aug. 20, 2012 at 10:37 AM
I'm half Black and half White and I try not to do the head movement hand on the hip thing but when someone is dissing my kids I have a tendency to raise my voice and do the, "Let me tell you..." I try not to get like that, especially in front of my kids, but at times it just comes out. But if you do feel the need to cuss him out over his ignorance send your kids to play elsewhere while your doing it because they may have negative feelings over it. Last year when my daughter was going to school this teacher didn't know I was there and she yelled at my dd when all these other kids were messing around. So I called her out on it and automatically she apologized. Then after that first my dd was embarrassed and didn't want me helping with different problems at school. Then she got over that and figured that if she was wrong that I would automatically get her out if it. So I told her if she is wrong and gets corrected then it's on her. I stick up for my kids when they are right but when they are wrong then they have to deal with the consequence. Oh and if he doesn't apologize tell the kids not to talk to him.

Quoting Alyson121:

If someone is mocking my children and making jokes at my family's expense, they get the SEVERE "evil eye" and what i call the "straight face" look.  And i typically follow that with SILENCE.  Why? Because i'm not sure that i could respond without being "typical TV Black girl" and twisting my neck while i'm talking.  People typically get the message.  

And no i don't think you're being petty at all.  

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 11:57 AM

Oviously someone is very passive-argressive. Ask him if THAT is the reason he's single?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)