Hey everyone,
Well, we went on a family retreat/camp this weekend. All if not the majority of the people there homeschool their children. Well on our way home DH started talking to me about homeschooling. He doesn't want me to homeschool. We had an intense several months last year discussing what will happen this year as my oldest son will be turning 6 in October. Well finally he said "I want them in school" and I said "I'm not comfortable with our school district, so we looked for several options. One was a charter school and Ididn't want to do that either (full day, long drive etc). I visited the school in our district as well. His parents live in a fairly good district and offer us to use their address. I said "no, that would be dishonest". Anyways, He wanted me to reconsider my school district options because we can't afford to move, and he wants my oldest in school this year. He thinks thats a good compromise....sending him to school now because he has been home for almost 6 years (I'm sorry, not sending a newborn to school....so I dont' count that!). I said a fair compromise would be half and half, and he doesn't want to budge. I even said sending them to a school district that I picked still wound't be a compromise, because I dont' beleive in the public school system AT ALL! He wants our kids to go and become "normal: and "socialized". I have talked to him about socialization, and he still disagrees with me. We came home very frustrated. I don't know where to go from here. The school year has already started, and I don't want him going to the school in our district at all! :/ Any suggestions?
My husband was resistant at first, and to be quite honest, he still has reservations...I basically put my foot down and asked for the fall semester. I told him that if he didn't see enough academic growth between September and December, then we could put her back into public school...and also, in NC, it is a felony offense to use someone else's address, just fyi. good luck, stand your ground, you can do this!
Quoting katetheredhead:
My husband was resistant at first, and to be quite honest, he still has reservations...I basically put my foot down and asked for the fall semester. I told him that if he didn't see enough academic growth between September and December, then we could put her back into public school...and also, in NC, it is a felony offense to use someone else's address, just fyi. good luck, stand your ground, you can do this!
thank you. Thats what I thought. I'm going to call today, just to proove it! lol My mil and DH keep pestering me.
I've been following your story for a long time Precious, both here and in my Christian Homeschoolers group. I really wish I knew what to tell you. Well, the human side of me knows what I want to tell you, but unfortunately, I think my advice would cause a further rift between you and your husband. The only thing that I can think of is to come to some sort of compromise, such as sending them to school for a week or two, and once your husband sees how bad it is, then maybe he will change his mind.
Sorry I'm not any help!!!
Honestly, it sounds like HE is not willing to compromise. It sounds like YOU are the only one coming up with ideas and suggestions, whereas he is only fighting for ONE thing and ONE thing only. Until he can partner with you as an adult instead of as a stubborn child that things need to go HIS way, I'd keep your son home.
Quoting Precious333:
I agree it's a felony here as well. In fact, a couple of years ago they put a homeless person in prison for her using her babysitters addy for school registration! It didn't seem to matter That she HAD no address, she still went to jail.
My DH was skeptical at first. He was convinced the kids would be weird, and he is one of those guys who remembers the 'glory days' of his school experience. But I told him I'd keep my son home for k. And if he wasn't progressing and was exhibiting 'weirdness' then I'd enroll him in ps. For a few years I made it seem like this HS was only temporary. But then, after a few years, he realized the benefits. Now he brags to everyone that we are HS'ers.
Home Educators Toolbox / Articles / Kicbuttmama's Crazy Lapbooks / Kickbuttmama's Home Education
Albert Einstein --
"Everybody is a Genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid."
It's been my experience that if both parents are not on board with homeschooling, it's a no win for everyone involved. I believe very firmly that this is a family effort.
Also, if this is causing problems in your marriage, drop it. At least in my home, homeschooling isn't a hill I am willing to let my marriage die on. My marriage is more important than education (and we put a very high standard on education, so that isnt' saying little).
Of course, I know it isn't a popular opinion on homeschool threads, so I digress :P
I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mother. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosey, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child. I believe that my place, as a woman, is in the home caring for my husband and children. My husband is head of our home. Aimee
Quoting PEEK05:
Honestly, it sounds like HE is not willing to compromise. It sounds like YOU are the only one coming up with ideas and suggestions, whereas he is only fighting for ONE thing and ONE thing only. Until he can partner with you as an adult instead of as a stubborn child that things need to go HIS way, I'd keep your son home.
This is what I was thinking but like I said, that would probably cause further problems if I made that suggestion.
My husband wasn't on board with homeschooling at first either, but I prayed about it and let God work on his heart and prayed that God would give me peace with whatever decision my husband made. My husband wasn't as stubborn and adamant against homeschooling though, like the OP's husband seems to be. It sounds like OP's husband is saying "It's my way or the highway." Also, the fact that he wants to lie about where they live in order for their children to go to a better school, is concerning to me.
If it were ME, and my husband was being that stubborn and unwilling to come to a reasonable compromise, especially since he keeps going back and forth about it, I would just have to draw the line in the sand and make the decision myself. I"m not suggesting that you do this OP, I'm just saying that I think this is what I would do if I were in this situation. This has been going on too long, and it's time to either pee or get off the pot ( pardon my crudeness, LOL) If he told you before that you could homeschool this year, just to see how it goes, then that's what you need to stick with. He can't keep flip-flopping back and forth. Tell him that it was decided months ago that you would give homeschooling a shot this year, and that's what you intend to do, and you will re-evaluate things at the end of the school year.
Quoting Precious333:
Quoting katetheredhead:
My husband was resistant at first, and to be quite honest, he still has reservations...I basically put my foot down and asked for the fall semester. I told him that if he didn't see enough academic growth between September and December, then we could put her back into public school...and also, in NC, it is a felony offense to use someone else's address, just fyi. good luck, stand your ground, you can do this!
thank you. Thats what I thought. I'm going to call today, just to proove it! lol My mil and DH keep pestering me.
Your MIL has no say in this...remind her kindly, and your husband, that you know your children best...and really, he's worried about your kid being weird? A school in Maryland had a shooting today....on the 1st day of class...I would rather my girls be alive and weird, than dead trying to fit in to the main stream...My husband had the glory days of school, it was like Leave it to Beaver in his family. So I think it is hard for him to understand any other alternative education to ps. I know my daughter will have plenty of opportunities for socialization, she plays field hockey twice a week, takes dance class, and has tons of friends we will continue to see. I often have to 'plant the seed' so my dh thinks it was his idea to do something...keep at it, he will come around...you know your child better than anyone, and you have his best interest at heart, if you feel homeschool is best, then you are right...you're a great mom, putting your child's needs first
How would they know...
What's the difference STATE BY STATE!
- Precious333
on Aug. 27, 2012 at 11:20 AM