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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Asking for help?

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:24 PM
  • 11 Replies

AS a stay at home/homeschooling mom, do you ask your DH to help out with things? Do you get your quiet time or space? I have a 2, 4 and 6 yr old, all boys. I homeschool and I also tutor and teach on the side. I very rarely ask for help from DH (just recently starting asking for a few things now and then. My cousin and my sister think I should ask for help. My sister is also a sahm, doesn't homeschool, and still has her DH help her. My cousin is engaged, has no children of her own, but he fiance has a son. WE are so much into a routine where Itake care of the house stuff and children, and he takes care of the finances. I dont' want to change that, but I wonder if I should have him help a little so I can get some quiet time, like doing yoga or something like that.

juliakf333. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:24 PM
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Jinx-Troublex3
by Jinx on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:30 PM
If you want or need help, ask for it! You are entitles to have time for yourself. I used to try and do everything...wanted to rip my hair out....

Now 2x a week, DHs nightss off I fix dinner, we eat together, and then I take off! Monday I play cribbage at the Elks lodge with my dad and other old farts...hey! But I win $ sometimes..lol. and Tuesday I go to karate class and take out my aggressions.... it's 2 hours each night...I get back send the kids to bed and DH and I have time to relax.
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Precious333
by Silver Member on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:46 PM


Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

If you want or need help, ask for it! You are entitles to have time for yourself. I used to try and do everything...wanted to rip my hair out....

Now 2x a week, DHs nightss off I fix dinner, we eat together, and then I take off! Monday I play cribbage at the Elks lodge with my dad and other old farts...hey! But I win $ sometimes..lol. and Tuesday I go to karate class and take out my aggressions.... it's 2 hours each night...I get back send the kids to bed and DH and I have time to relax.


I would like tome, maybe once a week. I just feel like we don't have much family time as it is, so I feel bad about that too, plus I don't have money for certain things. I bet DH would step right up if I asked, I just dont'. I know he's tired too.

juliakf333. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
Jinx-Troublex3
by Jinx on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:55 PM
If I waited for DH to offer, or even be ready, I would never get out. I need to relax, it makes me a nicer person!

DH works 4 tens, so he has 3 days off in a row. I can tale 4 hours! The cribbage costs $5 and I buy 1 margarita...hehe..so $10 to get out.(2 'ritas if I'm feeling it..LOL)

Karate, I worked a deal with Sensei, when all three kids trained, so I volunter and do computer work and train for free,
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usmom3
by BJ on Sep. 18, 2012 at 5:14 PM

 I do ask for help from him but I also do 90% of everything at the house including the finances so I don't feel bad when I ask him to help me with things.

Precious333
by Silver Member on Sep. 18, 2012 at 5:17 PM


Quoting usmom3:

 I do ask for help from him but I also do 90% of everything at the house including the finances so I don't feel bad when I ask him to help me with things.

do you ever get "you" time?

juliakf333. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
usmom3
by BJ on Sep. 18, 2012 at 5:28 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting Precious333:

 

Quoting usmom3:

 I do ask for help from him but I also do 90% of everything at the house including the finances so I don't feel bad when I ask him to help me with things.

do you ever get "you" time?

 Sometimes, my kids are 19; 9 & 7 my 19 Y/O has Autism & up until a few years ago he couldn't hand watching the younger 2 but now he can watch both of them so I can take a shower or nap or even run an errand or 2. Before Hubby would keep the kids on a Saturday & I would get groceries alone, that was my alone time. We have actually had the 19y/o babysit the younger 2 so we could go out & plan on doing that at least once a month from now on.

It is hard when they are small like yours are but as they grow it dose become easier to get "you time".

kirbymom
by Sonja on Sep. 18, 2012 at 6:14 PM
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I feel the same way you do but there came a point at which I needed some ME time. So my husband suggested getting on a bowling league. I did and it was FANTASTIC!  I went one evening a week for about 2 to 4 hours. I loved going bowling and being on a league too.  It was exactly what I needed. AND, the kids got to have some special time with dad on that particular day/evening. The kids and dad had a crafts night while mommy had a night out. They loved showing me what they made when I came home that night. lol  So, yes, I would ask for a day/night.

 I have a somewhat funny, sarcastic statement but it rings so true too but here goes....If mom is happy, then everyone is happy. lol  

Quoting Precious333:

AS a stay at home/homeschooling mom, do you ask your DH to help out with things? Do you get your quiet time or space? I have a 2, 4 and 6 yr old, all boys. I homeschool and I also tutor and teach on the side. I very rarely ask for help from DH (just recently starting asking for a few things now and then. My cousin and my sister think I should ask for help. My sister is also a sahm, doesn't homeschool, and still has her DH help her. My cousin is engaged, has no children of her own, but he fiance has a son. WE are so much into a routine where Itake care of the house stuff and children, and he takes care of the finances. I dont' want to change that, but I wonder if I should have him help a little so I can get some quiet time, like doing yoga or something like that.


  

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ablessedlife
by Member on Sep. 18, 2012 at 6:47 PM
My husband does not help with any schooling, cooking or cleaning. But one thing he does is the grocery shopping and that is a big help.

I'm sure you can find something that he is comfortable with doing on a regular basis.
ablessedlife
by Member on Sep. 18, 2012 at 6:52 PM
Sorry, I didn't really answer the question. When he does the shopping, I don't get "me time" during that time.
The only me time I get is after the kids are in bed and hubby goes to work (he works nights). I guess that is probably the real reason that I go to bed so late (around midnight every night), because I really enjoy my time alone.
My mom sometimes offers to take the boys for a couple of hrs so I can go to stores alone (one thing I like doing).
KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:19 AM

hmm... I rarely ask for help either...

But... that being said...

It would be nice if DH helped for several reasons.   The first, being the most obvious, so that I don't burn out and still have time to do stuff I want to do, even if it IS curling up with a book about, "Bringing out the Writing Skills of Your Child."...  LOL!   

Secondly, though, the kids benefit from having Dad's involvement.  This is something that is often overlooked in a busy family.   I listened to a CD from a homeschool convention where the speaker said that many homeschool families are raising their kids similar to a single parent household because Dad is often working and not as plugged into the homeschooling stuff.  Kids from these same homes are growing up without a good male role model because Mom is the only one doing it all for them.

Just some thoughts...   :)

Like I said, we aren't any better, though... I adore my husband, and my kids know he loves them... but he comes home from work to plant himself in front of the TV most days.   : (


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