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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

SO angry

Posted by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 9:05 PM
  • 12 Replies

SO....after DS was beat up in public school last year and they pretty much did nothing, we decided to use an online middle school program....teachers are assigned for each class, so I'm more of a supervisor/aide than an actual homeschool teacher.....however....

I am SO SICK of DS and his crap!!!

He has Asperger's, ADHD, and anxiety....all of which are pretty well handled with his medication, but he half@sses everything.  We are on the 3rd attempt at a schedule that he can work with....each subject written in a different color and all that....he had 2 lessons to do today in Math and when he said he was done, I asked about lesson 12...he threw a fit because he "didn't see it"....seriously??!!??  Tuesday and Thursday are math days, writing is in RED...how the hell do you miss "Lesson 11 - ALL" and "Lesson 12 - ALL"

I'm at my wits end and have told him that we are taking money from the family to pay for this school and he had best step up and show that it was the right decision or next year I'm putting his butt back into the public school system and THEY can figure out how to deal with it....I *know* he didn't pull this crap with his teachers last year because they would have called me if he had acted this way.....


thanks for leting me rant....teetering on the edge here today....grrrrrr


by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 9:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cjsmom1
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 9:07 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. No suggestions here though it's my first year doing this.

Larisa72
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 9:15 PM
It's my first year as well....and hubby keeps saying that it will get better, but HE isn't the one dealing with this crap (until I dump everything on him, which I can't do right now because he's on steroids to help deal with wrist pain).....ugh
usmom3
by BJ on Sep. 25, 2012 at 9:52 PM
1 mom liked this

I understand your frustrations I have 2 sons with High Functioning Autism, my sons are like that. You need to remember that his brain works differently then yours dose. You need to read some books on Autism & Aspergers to get some prospective. We unschool because schedules don't work for my boys, life is so much easier when they have control of what, when & how they learn. Have you deschooled him & you? It really helps if you do that before trying to start homeschooling because homeschooling is nothing like public school. Here is a link about deschooling. Deschooling

oredeb
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 12:52 PM

does he do this all the time?

just an idea,  watch the way your son learns, it might not be the way you are teaching him, since you have him at home let him learn the best way for him! so you both can enjoy it!

heres some sites that might give you some ideas http://lifewithoutschool.typepad.com/lifewithoutschool/2008/05/home-schooling.html

http://www.nathhan.com/homeschooling_with_aspergers_and_autism.htm

http://voices.yahoo.com/structured-homeschooling-aspergers-syndrome-affected-6808482.html

HappyMom.2
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 12:57 PM

:-( 

gratefulgal
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 1:14 PM

I just wanted to say I'm sorry, also. I also wanted to add that even if you put him back in public school, they will probably not be able to do any better than you are doing now and this problem will not go away. I hope you can figure out how to deal with this-- how to solve the puzzle. I know that level of frustration, though, and I wish I had more advice to give you!  Please hang in there!

kirbymom
by Sonja on Sep. 26, 2012 at 1:42 PM

 First things first...   (((HUGS)))    Now, take a slow, deep breath. Let it out slowly.  Feel the calm.  You should be go to go but if not, repeat the process as many times as necessary to feel the calm.  :)   And if you need another hug, well, Just ask me. I will give you a hug all day if that is what you need. :)  

I agree with usmom.  Also, You may just need to take a break for a day or two.  Do something that the both of you can enjoy doing together. Recapture the feeling of closeness and the excitement of learning.   :)  

Quoting usmom3:

I understand your frustrations I have 2 sons with High Functioning Autism, my sons are like that. You need to remember that his brain works differently then yours dose. You need to read some books on Autism & Aspergers to get some prospective. We unschool because schedules don't work for my boys, life is so much easier when they have control of what, when & how they learn. Have you deschooled him & you? It really helps if you do that before trying to start homeschooling because homeschooling is nothing like public school. Here is a link about unschooling. http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/unschooling/getting_started/what_is_deschooling.htm

amandae21
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 4:01 PM

Perfectly said. I have no experience with Autism/Aspergers but my DD has ADHD. We struggled with an online charter school (k12) for a month before I decided that it just wasn't going to work for us. We are still using time4learning for math/LA (because DH was NOT at all keen on the idea of unschooling/deschooling) and the rest is child-led in a usual unschooling fashion.

Quoting usmom3:

I understand your frustrations I have 2 sons with High Functioning Autism, my sons are like that. You need to remember that his brain works differently then yours dose. You need to read some books on Autism & Aspergers to get some prospective. We unschool because schedules don't work for my boys, life is so much easier when they have control of what, when & how they learn. Have you deschooled him & you? It really helps if you do that before trying to start homeschooling because homeschooling is nothing like public school. Here is a link about deschooling. Deschooling


Larisa72
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:50 PM

Thanks for all the feedback....really it was a vent to get rid of some frustration....here's the thing, and it's something I had to remind a friend when we had lunch today: If you've seen ONE CHILD with autism......you've seen ONE CHILD with autism.  I have read, studied, spoken with experts, met with John Elder Robison (author of Look Me in the Eye and Be Different - diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 40), have spoken with the founder of ASPEN - network for people with Asperger's, tried several different schedules...HIS choice...and it was HIS choice as to the classes....we are fairly flexible, except for the fact that he MUST do some school work each day.  The 2nd schedule was HIS design - 1 class on Monday, 1 on Tuesday, etc.....but he got behind....so we bounced ideas as to how to get the required work done by the deadline that the school has (they give him 12 full months, it shouldn't be difficult to spread things out, regardless of how his brain works - and yes, I have ADHD and some Asperger traits, so he and I actually think in similar ways on some subjects).....THIS time around, we are doing it like a college schedule...1 class is MWF, another class is T/TH....and the weeks alternate (again, HIS choice)...this week is blue/red (English/Math), next week is black/green (Social Studies/Science)...that way he has one class that he doesn't really like and one class that he really DOES like.

As for unschooling, etc......while SOME children may function better without a schedule, MY son is not one of them....he needs to know what is going to happen and when, and needs reminders ahead of time instead of an immediate switch......so......while certain things may work in one family, they won't work in others....yeah, I'm a little upset at being told "you NEED" as if I haven't done any of this yet.....but people only know me via cyber world and don't know what I have and have not done, so it's all good.....

again, thanks for the feedback...his behavior was completely opposite today - not sure if it's because Dad came home early (having adverse reactions to medication he just started) or if it finally clicked that we haven't been able to do a lot of our usual things (monthly trips to BAM for new books for the entire family, renting movies, going out for ice cream, having dinner delivered) since we started this school program....whatever it was, there was definitely NOT as much BS today

oredeb
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 7:04 PM

 sounds like you know what your doing!!!

Quoting Larisa72:

Thanks for all the feedback....really it was a vent to get rid of some frustration....here's the thing, and it's something I had to remind a friend when we had lunch today: If you've seen ONE CHILD with autism......you've seen ONE CHILD with autism.  I have read, studied, spoken with experts, met with John Elder Robison (author of Look Me in the Eye and Be Different - diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 40), have spoken with the founder of ASPEN - network for people with Asperger's, tried several different schedules...HIS choice...and it was HIS choice as to the classes....we are fairly flexible, except for the fact that he MUST do some school work each day.  The 2nd schedule was HIS design - 1 class on Monday, 1 on Tuesday, etc.....but he got behind....so we bounced ideas as to how to get the required work done by the deadline that the school has (they give him 12 full months, it shouldn't be difficult to spread things out, regardless of how his brain works - and yes, I have ADHD and some Asperger traits, so he and I actually think in similar ways on some subjects).....THIS time around, we are doing it like a college schedule...1 class is MWF, another class is T/TH....and the weeks alternate (again, HIS choice)...this week is blue/red (English/Math), next week is black/green (Social Studies/Science)...that way he has one class that he doesn't really like and one class that he really DOES like.

As for unschooling, etc......while SOME children may function better without a schedule, MY son is not one of them....he needs to know what is going to happen and when, and needs reminders ahead of time instead of an immediate switch......so......while certain things may work in one family, they won't work in others....yeah, I'm a little upset at being told "you NEED" as if I haven't done any of this yet.....but people only know me via cyber world and don't know what I have and have not done, so it's all good.....

again, thanks for the feedback...his behavior was completely opposite today - not sure if it's because Dad came home early (having adverse reactions to medication he just started) or if it finally clicked that we haven't been able to do a lot of our usual things (monthly trips to BAM for new books for the entire family, renting movies, going out for ice cream, having dinner delivered) since we started this school program....whatever it was, there was definitely NOT as much BS today

 

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