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I can't do this anymore

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:57 PM
  • 24 Replies

And it's only kindergarden! I think next fall I'm putting her in public school. I just can't have her home everyday. We're in an apartment. No yard, no balcony, bad area and it's not like I can kick out to a back yard to play. She drives me INSANE running around and making a mess. I'm struggling with depression, and I have #3 due in about 6 weeks. I've become my mom, and I just don't have the patience for my DD. I feel like a failure but there is too much going on with me to be able to homeschool her. :'(

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by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:57 PM
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lucsch
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:04 PM
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It will get better. If you truly desire to homeschool, you can do it. Perhaps this isn't the best time to make a decision. I know pregnancy always did me in, physically. Are you trying to do too much? School shouldn't take more than an hour.  On the other hand if she is running around, maybe she needs more to do. After the baby is born, will you be able to get out more and take walks or go to a park?

allthatjazz251
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:08 PM


Quoting lucsch:

It will get better. If you truly desire to homeschool, you can do it. Perhaps this isn't the best time to make a decision. I know pregnancy always did me in, physically. Are you trying to do too much? School shouldn't take more than an hour.  On the other hand if she is running around, maybe she needs more to do. After the baby is born, will you be able to get out more and take walks or go to a park?

I am positive the birth of this baby will make me a hermit. It's stressful enough getting the 2 kids out the door (DS is 18 months). I'm going to be too exhausted to take all 3 to the park by myself. =( She is ADHD and to much for me to handle. I don't know what to do with her and I can't entertain her all the time. =/

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usmom3
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:05 PM

 Sorry to here that things are not great right now for you. Could you try unschooling or child led learning for a little while until the baby is older & see if that takes some of the stress away?

MethodMom
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:25 PM
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ADHD with 3 kids in an apartment in a bad neighborhood... That is my life. 

HEre are some things that help me. 

We go for a walk every day. It is nice to get out in the air and let my kids run and burn some energy. 

take frequent breaks. When my ADHD son was younger I would set a timer for 20 mins for every subject. If he got the lesson done before the timer went off, I would let him go off and play. 

I NEVER allow toys outside of their bedroom. I need the living room and kitchen to be MY space. I don't feel like I am constantly picking up after them. When a guest shows up unexpectedly, I can shut their bedroom door. 

We eat organic. Everyone thinks that is more expensive than it is. I really only spend about 30 cents more per item. it is totaaly worth it. remove all dyes and unnatural preservcatives from her diet. I am telling you it makes a WORLD of difference. I really thought I was going to have to medicate my son. He drove me absolutely bonkers!!!! I put him on the fiengold diet and it changed him. He is a different kid. 

ok and finally, it sucks not having a yard to go play in. Get a body sock or make your own with a yard of lycra material. 

buy a large bouncy ball or hopper ball, It does not need handles. let her bounce on the ball during school work and during breaks. HAve her lay on it on her belly with her feet in the air and pick things up off the floor. you can do counting games like this. 

wrap her up in a fluffy blanket and roller her around the room.

Ask her to go push a wall down when she is really antsy. have her stand with her feet shoulder length apart and push against the wall while looking down at her feet. This is the one I love best and we use it all the time. you can do it anywhere that there are walls. and it settles ADHD/SPD kids down very fast. 

these are some of the things my son does for his OT. It helps him to settle down. 


I am a homeschooling single mom of 3 boys.


Follow my blog at...  http://methodmom.blogspot.com/

womanwifemomof3
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:30 PM
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She could go next year and if it doesnt work out go back to homeschooling  Plans can change to fit your families current needs.  Leave the option open for now.  its a long time til sept. you may feel different then.  Do you have any nice neighbors who might take her for a walk at least.  Tell them how much that would help you.  Do you have anyone who can help you out at any time of day?  Could her and dad wake up early for a morning jog?  How about a mini trampoline for christmas?  We even have a small blow up bounce house which takes over the whole room but its quick to set up and take down and has been such a sanity saver.  There is a kid exercise bike video game.  the bike plugs into the tv and its educational games.  Our library has kid exercise videos and I bought a silly to calm yoga dvd that we like.  There is this bumblebee game.  It goes in circles and the kids jump over it but my kids like to chase it in circles too.    I've been where it sounds like your at.  I have 3 kids.  I felt like that but made it through and glad i did.  I also babysit other peoples kids.  Maybe that sounds like more work but really it made my life easier and brought in extra cash. A 4 year old over for the day ought to be a good playmate or another kindergartener especially if they have half day kinder.   I also think me watching kids helped depression from creeping in my door because I made sure to get myself up and dressed since someone was coming over and I tried to keep things sorta cleaned up but they also understood kid mess and didn't expect perfection since they also have a kid.  I had another adult to talk to for at least a few mintues each day.  Or babysit a 1st to 3rd grader afterschool who will be entertainment for your child.   Okay I rambled and have many typos.  One handed typing with baby in my arms falling asleep and not going to edit this because I need to put him in bed now.  Take Care.  Tomorrow is another day.  Best wishes for you.

gratefulgal
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:50 PM

I just wanted to say that I hope things get better for you, and to hang in there ifyou can! Public school won't make ADHD problems go away for sure, and it can instead exacerbate them. I hope some of the other ladies ideas work for you! Hugs! :)

BridgetV
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:32 PM

I completely understand.  I only have one that I am homeschooling (also kindergarten) and we live in a small apartment/condo.  We do have a balcony, but honestly don't use it all that often, and have no parks/playgrounds within walking distance. 

I instituted a strict "alone time" rule after we are done with school for the day.  For at least an hour afterward, we go into seperate rooms and do our own thing.  He can play, watch some tv or whatever.  I usually read.  I do understand you have another little one and can't leave them alone, but maybe your daughter can spend some time away from you in a seperate room?  If you are able to get out at night as well, that may help.  Even just to the library or somewhere you can be away from the kids.  It can be super hard to spend every minute trying to be patient, trying to teach, play, etc.  You need time for you too. 

Oh, I also second the bouncy ball suggestion from another poster.  My son loves his and will bounce for 20-30 mins at a time.  They are WONDERFUL and it really gets out his energy.   

irvinehiker
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:42 PM

 I'm sorry to hear things are tough right now.  I know what it's like to feel like this.  I have a special needs son who takes a lot of my time.  We live in the upper midewest so in the winter we are pretty much stuck in doors for days on end.  These ladies have given you some good suggestions.  Another thing my son enjoys is music.  He loves Laurie Berkner ( find her on netflix).  Usually at least once a day my son puts on some music and dances his little heart out.  It gets all his energy focused on something positive.  Good luck...hang in there!

MethodMom
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:32 PM

Laurie Berkner is awesome. :) 

Quoting irvinehiker:

 I'm sorry to hear things are tough right now.  I know what it's like to feel like this.  I have a special needs son who takes a lot of my time.  We live in the upper midewest so in the winter we are pretty much stuck in doors for days on end.  These ladies have given you some good suggestions.  Another thing my son enjoys is music.  He loves Laurie Berkner ( find her on netflix).  Usually at least once a day my son puts on some music and dances his little heart out.  It gets all his energy focused on something positive.  Good luck...hang in there!


bluerooffarm
by Group Admin on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:40 AM

 At one point I had 3 kids under 4, you are not alone!  The first couple months are very hard (I'm not about to lie to you) but then things come together.  You get much better at getting out the door.  You realize that you don't really need all the things you lugged around with the first 2.  It will not turn you into a hermit if you don't want it to. 

I wore my third a LOT!!  I also became that crazy lady with the baler twine that the other 2 had to hold onto (yes, we still do that sometimes).  I found a great homeschooling group and took weeks to teach boundaries.  Where they had to be while we were out at our usual places.  I found a great playground that was totally fenced in and I could give them a little space.

Now having a 4, 5, and 7 yo, I am so glad that I chose to struggle through those first years.  We all have such a great relationship.  I'm not saying they never fight, but they are best friends.

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