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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Homeschooling and Disipline

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 I am a homeschooling mom to twins Joe and Laken and have all of their lives, Looking for advice from other mom on how the handle punishment for not doing home work assignments.

by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 5:08 PM
Replies (21-27):
uriahadel
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:37 AM
I am sorry but if my child refuse to obey and do her school work then she will be punished. I start taking away her favorites, and if that doesn't work then I spank her, and if that doesn't work then I tell her dad when he gets home and he disciplines her, and he finishes her work with her which takes it off of me. But her work gets done or she makes it up on the weekends and the things I took away are still gone for the time I told her. Every punishment given is every punishment received. We believe school is very important and there is no slacking in that and both of us work together to give our daughter the best education, and she is smarter and knows more then the average student of her age in public or private school. Yes we choose our battles, but school is very important and that is the one thing we are never lenient on.
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Kerseygeek
by Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:21 AM
My son does pursue his interests. He has tons of books in his room on different topics. He has reading time every night in his room so he gets to stay up later than his sisters because he's older. We go on field trips as a family quite frequently & have yearly passes to his favorite museum. We feel education is very important & refuse to just let him slide. I've done the same thing as the previous poster who ends up bringing in dad at the end and he will work then but goes back to the same behavior as the day before. I'm at the point of putting him in school so really understands & believes me when I say doing school is required of everyone. I also think having the structure for a while will get him in the mindset if working better again & appreciate the flexibility of homeschool.
AndBabyMade5
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 1:27 PM
Does he have a subject he's particularly interested in? Lets say maybe, "Star Wars" - you could write a story where you and he each take a turn writing a word using the main characters that he loves.

Favorite video game? Have him write to the creator/company suggesting ways they could improve his game. Help him a LOT - at that age, a writing composition can be a little overwhelming to start but the ideas will flow eventually. Don't correct his writing, either. Read it and work on the skills he's lacking but be should be getting copious praise everytime he writes anything so that it becomes rewarding.

Also, NEVER use writing as a punishment. I used to teach 1st grade and would have fellow teachers make kids write lines, definitions, etc. and then couldn't POSSIBLY understand why the child didn't care for writing....

Just some thoughts that mate you hadn't tried. Good luck :-)


Quoting Kerseygeek:

My son is 7, 8 in March, & in 3rd grade. He has good handwriting & has always had a great grasp on language. His main problem stems from not wanting to work at all. He's fighting the system sort to speak. Not getting to do something as a consequence has been used a lot here but honestly as upset as it makes him it doesn't result in a change of behavior. If anything it's made him a worse procrastinator. His behavior change is going to have to come from within but getting him to that point has me at a loss.

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kirbymom
by Sonja on Jan. 6, 2013 at 3:02 PM

Krissy, it took courage and guts to say what you did. Makes me proud. :) 

I love your new rules and  I especially love #3.  :)  

Quoting KrissyKC:

Our problem is... quite frankly... DH and I both have been raised lazy and are very disorganized.   The only reason my house is not gross is because when I was a kid, I had a friend who's house was disgustingly nasty and I HATED playing there.... LOL!   So, I make sure that things either stay somewhat clean or I pitch it all... I refuse to have a nasty house just because I have lazy tendencies...

Anyway, I've done a really horrid job of teaching the important basics to my kids... from everything from proper hygiene to following through and completing assignments.   I'm learning that while i was a good parent in some areas, I am a lazy arm-chair parent in others.   I'm working on changing this....

But with my older two (11 and 8) especially, old habits are really hard to break.   I told them that in the new year, we would be changing the way we do things... and I hope I can...

1.  Each kid is going to have a specific time slot to shower...

2.  We are going to wake at a certain time and start school at a certain time...

3.   I won't "punnish" for school time, but if we aren't progressing at school work and chores, then we won't have time to do the fun things or other events.   If they miss basketball practice because they sit and dawdle all day, refusing to do... their 10-12 math problems...   then that's a consequence, not a punnishment.   I won't yell or nag.   ((side note: if child is honestly trying and getting frustrated, I have governors power to pardon them)).





  

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kirbymom
by Sonja on Jan. 6, 2013 at 3:22 PM
1 mom liked this

 Oh I so know where you are coming from. I have been here:done that, a few times.  The deeper issue here is, what is causing your son to not do his school work with you. If your son will do his work for his dad but goes right back to his aggravating behavior with you, then this is his way of telling you he doesn't have any respect for you. Or not that he doesn't have any but that he doesn't have enough. Your word doesn't mean much to him anymore.  That  is what you need to work on more than his not finishing his written school work. When you can get him to respect your word as law, then you will be able to get him to finish his work. And I say this with all due respect towards you. Please know this. I say this because I have gone through this very same behavior with my children and I can recognize the signs.  Your son sounds extremely intelligent, so its not a matter of  him not knowing his work. He does. Way more than you will probably get him to admit to. :)  Just keep on trying to find a solution. That is also what is important here. Your children need to know that you will never give up on what you want or need from them. That means to them that they are as important as you needing to breath. Truly.  One day, you will see that what you are doing will reap its own rewards in their adulthood lives.  

Oh and one more thing, something I didn't learn until after I already had a few of my own kids. lol  >>  As long as a child SEE'S that we parents are angry or upset, then they FEEL they have won the battle of wits between us and them and that to them, makes them feel like the are the winner. 

Quoting Kerseygeek:

My son does pursue his interests. He has tons of books in his room on different topics. He has reading time every night in his room so he gets to stay up later than his sisters because he's older. We go on field trips as a family quite frequently & have yearly passes to his favorite museum. We feel education is very important & refuse to just let him slide. I've done the same thing as the previous poster who ends up bringing in dad at the end and he will work then but goes back to the same behavior as the day before. I'm at the point of putting him in school so really understands & believes me when I say doing school is required of everyone. I also think having the structure for a while will get him in the mindset if working better again & appreciate the flexibility of homeschool.


  

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zebrachick83
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 8:02 PM

Agreed wholeheartedly with this. And this problem wouldn't just go away if you put him in PS. If you were to put him in school, you'd still need to be able to get him to listen to you when it's time to do his homework or get ready for school in the morning.

Quoting kirbymom:

 Oh I so know where you are coming from. I have been here:done that, a few times.  The deeper issue here is, what is causing your son to not do his school work with you. If your son will do his work for his dad but goes right back to his aggravating behavior with you, then this is his way of telling you he doesn't have any respect for you. Or not that he doesn't have any but that he doesn't have enough. Your word doesn't mean much to him anymore.  That  is what you need to work on more than his not finishing his written school work. When you can get him to respect your word as law, then you will be able to get him to finish his work. And I say this with all due respect towards you. Please know this. I say this because I have gone through this very same behavior with my children and I can recognize the signs.  Your son sounds extremely intelligent, so its not a matter of  him not knowing his work. He does. Way more than you will probably get him to admit to. :)  Just keep on trying to find a solution. That is also what is important here. Your children need to know that you will never give up on what you want or need from them. That means to them that they are as important as you needing to breath. Truly.  One day, you will see that what you are doing will reap its own rewards in their adulthood lives.  

Oh and one more thing, something I didn't learn until after I already had a few of my own kids. lol  >>  As long as a child SEE'S that we parents are angry or upset, then they FEEL they have won the battle of wits between us and them and that to them, makes them feel like the are the winner. 

Quoting Kerseygeek:

My son does pursue his interests. He has tons of books in his room on different topics. He has reading time every night in his room so he gets to stay up later than his sisters because he's older. We go on field trips as a family quite frequently & have yearly passes to his favorite museum. We feel education is very important & refuse to just let him slide. I've done the same thing as the previous poster who ends up bringing in dad at the end and he will work then but goes back to the same behavior as the day before. I'm at the point of putting him in school so really understands & believes me when I say doing school is required of everyone. I also think having the structure for a while will get him in the mindset if working better again & appreciate the flexibility of homeschool.



Homeschooling, writing, JW mom to four. Wife to one and only. 

                                          family in the van




motheroffour186
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:27 PM

what age what grade?? I have a twin four year old

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