We believe in more of courtship I guess. We believe the only point in dating should be to find a person you will marry. Casual dating just evokes unnecessary desires and a roller coaster of emotions. Because of that, there won't be any dating until they are at a point where they are ready or close to ready to get married, or until they move out of the house. I also believe your first kiss is something sacred and not to be given away lightly.
Once a child chooses to marry someone and gets engaged, we will encourage a short engagement. We believe in waiting to have sex until you're married. When you know you're going to marry the person, it makes it difficult to not go further physically (DH and I struggled with this with our 14 month engagement). We see dating as the time to figure out if you might marry that person, and the engagement is the preparation for marriage.
Our kids are still little, so we don't have to worry about this for quite some time. Our rules come from our religious beliefs and our experiences. I waiting until college to date and married the second person I dated. I'm beyond thankful that I didn't casually date. DH dated from middle school on up and has dealt with the flip side.
My daughter is 15 and has gone out with friends. I am not sure if it is truly a "date" or not or just going out as friends. She really has no "boyfriend". She concentrates on her schoolwork and she lives on her Xbox. She is a good kid and is not the "boy craze" girl that most are. I trust my daughter to the end of the earth and if/when she decides she is ready to date, she will do so. I don't want her doing anything behind my back so I will be open at all times with her. Sneaking is more fun than being allowed to do something, so I am allowing her, hopefully preventing her from sneaking.
That being said, I really don't want her to go out with a boy who drives until after she gets her license, so if anything happened, she could drive them home. We also have a contract that if she was to ever drink or her friend drinks, she is to call us. We will come pick her up, no questions asked. Again, hoping for the openness which will in turn be honesty.
Daddy thinks they should wait until they are 18. I am more realistic and think 16 and group outings with a boy they like. Just b/c Daddy didn't date until he was 18 doesn't mean that it works that way for everyone. We will have strict rules in place for when it does happen, but we will cross that bridge when it does. My ODD has tons of crushes and she is almost 7, so I can see where this is going.....I am a little concerned. LOL
Quoting bekalynne440:We believe in more of courtship I guess. We believe the only point in dating should be to find a person you will marry. Casual dating just evokes unnecessary desires and a roller coaster of emotions. Because of that, there won't be any dating until they are at a point where they are ready or close to ready to get married, or until they move out of the house. I also believe your first kiss is something sacred and not to be given away lightly.
Once a child chooses to marry someone and gets engaged, we will encourage a short engagement. We believe in waiting to have sex until you're married. When you know you're going to marry the person, it makes it difficult to not go further physically (DH and I struggled with this with our 14 month engagement). We see dating as the time to figure out if you might marry that person, and the engagement is the preparation for marriage.
Our kids are still little, so we don't have to worry about this for quite some time. Our rules come from our religious beliefs and our experiences. I waiting until college to date and married the second person I dated. I'm beyond thankful that I didn't casually date. DH dated from middle school on up and has dealt with the flip side.
We haven't thought much about it.
The children's pastor at our church has kids close to our older kids' ages. They actually told their kids that dating is for adults, and when they are adults, they can start dating. Now, I'm sure they can go out in groups or such as they get older, but I don't know.
My DH likes this idea... any serious dates really are for adults...
I was raised differently and went on dates and hung out with guys since I was about 12... yeah, maybe that's why I got in so much trouble...
OMG! You are asking some tuffies here. lol Well, in our family, there is no dating until they are sixteen. Now that doesn't mean they can't go with a group and they take one or two of their older siblings with them. But there is just no single one on one dating until they are sixteen. Period. They also have to have their intended sit in our living room and let us meet them. In fact, my kids do not know anyone I do not get to meet. Also, if the girl is the one dating, they do not go over to their dates house unless both parents are there and if its a boy dating he does not go over to the girl's house unless the family is going to be there. And NO going into a room alone. Ever. Why put temptation there for them to have to struggle with?
New and need advice
- rsrangel
on Jan. 14, 2013 at 6:36 AM