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What are your household dating rules? My kids are still little so i don't have to worry about it yet. My brother was talking about theirs after struggling with my niece which sparked my curiosity.
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 6:36 AM
Replies (11-15):
kirbymom
by Sonja on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:18 PM

That is how we feel as well but my oldest just thought that having a boyfriend and not date would be okay btu, she found out that it was a lot harder than she thought and she also found that it's just not worth having a boyfriend either. She said she has decided to wait until she is about 23-25 before she would seriously consider thinking about the opposite sex and marriage.  In her words..." Dating just leads to trouble. "  Mind you these are her words and not mine.  

Quoting bekalynne440:

We believe in more of courtship I guess.  We believe the only point in dating should be to find a person you will marry.  Casual dating just evokes unnecessary desires and a roller coaster of emotions.  Because of that, there won't be any dating until they are at a point where they are ready or close to ready to get married, or until they move out of the house.  I also believe your first kiss is something sacred and not to be given away lightly.

Once a child chooses to marry someone and gets engaged, we will encourage a short engagement.  We believe in waiting to have sex until you're married.  When you know you're going to marry the person, it makes it difficult to not go further physically (DH and I struggled with this with our 14 month engagement).  We see dating as the time to figure out if you might marry that person, and the engagement is the preparation for marriage. 

Our kids are still little, so we don't have to worry about this for quite some time.  Our rules come from our religious beliefs and our experiences.  I waiting until college to date and married the second person I dated.  I'm beyond thankful that I didn't casually date.  DH dated from middle school on up and has dealt with the flip side.


  

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Knightquester
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:18 PM

This is basically us right now.  My eldest who is 12 does have a boy that likes her, but he's still innocent (he's homeschooled too) and they are just friends right now.

I suspect in a few years I might be faced with an issue when it comes to them going out just the two of them in which I would require a chaperone for awhile until they show maturity and responsibility and are both over the ages of I'd say 16/17 years old.

Quoting mem82:

Meh I don't even want to think about it! Lol No true dating by herself until 16 or 17.


Jlee4249
by Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this
We've already planned on requiring 3 family dates.
First will be at our home with family. Next will be a game night of some kind, staying in or going bowling. Third will be a group date: family and several of her friends...
We want to watch the prospective date in these settings to get a good idea of how he/she works, whether or not he/she feels a little too free to touch my child... (I have two girls and one boy)
Besides, it's a little easier to enforce rules when the child and their date have to answer to you...
Also, it will help whittle down the creeps who are not willing to meet, greet, and hang out with parents.
But that will still be few and far between. Look at it this way, your typical teenage crush lasts, on average, 3 weeks... That's three weekend family dates, so the chance of one of them losing interest by the end ofthose three weeks is pretty high... If they are still around, we may just have to add one more family outting.

This torture (for us or them?) will begin at age 16.

irvinehiker
by Andrea on Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:37 PM

 You have raised one very bright young lady!!  :)

Quoting kirbymom:

That is how we feel as well but my oldest just thought that having a boyfriend and not date would be okay btu, she found out that it was a lot harder than she thought and she also found that it's just not worth having a boyfriend either. She said she has decided to wait until she is about 23-25 before she would seriously consider thinking about the opposite sex and marriage.  In her words..." Dating just leads to trouble. "  Mind you these are her words and not mine.  

Quoting bekalynne440:

We believe in more of courtship I guess.  We believe the only point in dating should be to find a person you will marry.  Casual dating just evokes unnecessary desires and a roller coaster of emotions.  Because of that, there won't be any dating until they are at a point where they are ready or close to ready to get married, or until they move out of the house.  I also believe your first kiss is something sacred and not to be given away lightly.

Once a child chooses to marry someone and gets engaged, we will encourage a short engagement.  We believe in waiting to have sex until you're married.  When you know you're going to marry the person, it makes it difficult to not go further physically (DH and I struggled with this with our 14 month engagement).  We see dating as the time to figure out if you might marry that person, and the engagement is the preparation for marriage. 

Our kids are still little, so we don't have to worry about this for quite some time.  Our rules come from our religious beliefs and our experiences.  I waiting until college to date and married the second person I dated.  I'm beyond thankful that I didn't casually date.  DH dated from middle school on up and has dealt with the flip side.


 

kirbymom
by Sonja on Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:48 PM

Thank you. :)  

It definitely is not easy raising a female teenager in today's society the way society is being geared to think nowadays.  Much harder than a teenage boy. I can say that since I have both.  Life sure gets interesting around here that's for sure. lol  

Quoting irvinehiker:

 You have raised one very bright young lady!!  :)

Quoting kirbymom:

That is how we feel as well but my oldest just thought that having a boyfriend and not date would be okay btu, she found out that it was a lot harder than she thought and she also found that it's just not worth having a boyfriend either. She said she has decided to wait until she is about 23-25 before she would seriously consider thinking about the opposite sex and marriage.  In her words..." Dating just leads to trouble. "  Mind you these are her words and not mine.  

Quoting bekalynne440:

We believe in more of courtship I guess.  We believe the only point in dating should be to find a person you will marry.  Casual dating just evokes unnecessary desires and a roller coaster of emotions.  Because of that, there won't be any dating until they are at a point where they are ready or close to ready to get married, or until they move out of the house.  I also believe your first kiss is something sacred and not to be given away lightly.

Once a child chooses to marry someone and gets engaged, we will encourage a short engagement.  We believe in waiting to have sex until you're married.  When you know you're going to marry the person, it makes it difficult to not go further physically (DH and I struggled with this with our 14 month engagement).  We see dating as the time to figure out if you might marry that person, and the engagement is the preparation for marriage. 

Our kids are still little, so we don't have to worry about this for quite some time.  Our rules come from our religious beliefs and our experiences.  I waiting until college to date and married the second person I dated.  I'm beyond thankful that I didn't casually date.  DH dated from middle school on up and has dealt with the flip side.


 


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