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Sad and Confused...

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:08 PM
  • 27 Replies

I have homeschooled my kids from the beginning.  Chrissy is now in 5th grade and Jamie is in 3rd grade. I love homeschooling them.  Yes!  Sometimes things get loud and yes, sometimes, I have to lay down the law.  But, that's natural, right?  

Now, my husband works nights and sleeps during the day...the same time we homeschool.

Today, on his way out the door to work, he informs me that he will be stopping by the parish school board to find out what it would take to enroll the kids in school for the 2013-2014 school year.  That shocked me!!! This is first time he has ever said anything about not homeschooling the kids through graduation.  The thought of putting them in school makes me sick to my stomach.  He says it's not the noise during the day, but , that he wants them to start learning to get along with other children.  

What makes him think our kids don't get along with other children???  They have friends here in the neighborhood, at church and they even get along well with meeting new people.  

Everything in my being is crying "put your foot down and say NO!!"  The kids say that they don't want to go to school. My daughter even says she WILL NOT GO!!  

I just don't know what to do....



by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:08 PM
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:13 PM
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Thats tough. I do not let ANY man, or human being for that matter, tell me what to do with my children....then again, I am divorced, lol. But I would put my foot doubt. If he didn't like it, oh well.
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:14 PM
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When he gets home, it's definitely time for a talk! Try not to cry and get emotional, really listen to what he's saying, and ask him for some time to respond. I'm sorry he sprung that on you!

by Sonja on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:18 PM
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Ohhh Sweety!  Have you tried asking him that question? Maybe ask him if he has had anyone, someone who has been talking to him and giving him their thoughts about what they think he should be doing more for socializing the children?  Ask him his personal opinion of what he thinks is a negative for your children while being homeschooled.  When you go through these steps, stay calm and show genuine curiosity for his opinion.  You want a tru discussion to happen and not a fight.  

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:23 PM

Thanks ladies!!  I will try to do these things.  In the mean time, I plan on doing some online research of the parish school system.  I'm told that our parish ranks close to the bottom in the state of Lousiana.  If I can find proof of it, he may see reason.  

For now, I need to get my nerves in control.  As you say, getting emotional with him over it will not help anything!!

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:54 PM
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I was just going to suggest that you research the school. I also agree that someone is probably putting these thoughts in his head. We haven't homeschooled since the beginning but I wish we had. My dd went to a very nice elementary school, it was the highest ranking school in the state. Dd has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, when she gets too stressed out she shuts down mentally. It was really bad, she couldn't talk, and when she tried she would just stutter. Her psychologist decided to go to the school and just kind of follow her around to see how a day goes in dd shoes. The teacher says to the psychologist that I'm making dd's condition up, all my dd needs is a firm hand so she'll knock her crap off. I about lost it!! The psychologist said in all her years she had never met a lady that was such a b.... We got through the year and dd started 1st grade. She's fine for a few months and out of no where starts shutting down again. Great. Come to find out, two little boys were cornering her on the play ground trying to get her to play 'sexy time'!! This was not normal curiosity, they were trying to get her to do and/or talk about the most disgusting sex acts you could think of. To make matters worse, this kept going on for a month! They told me they couldn't keep kids from playing with each other (wtf)!! That was it, I was done!! My point is, even the best schools have the potential to have a negative affect on our children. You and your husband should really weigh the pros and cons. If he's only worried about socializing them, then kindly explain that you have that covered. Play dates with other children and church are two great ways for children to learn to get along!!
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:01 PM

 IT should not be just his decision.  They are BOTH of your children.  You need to tell him how you feel and that you were led to believe that he too planned on home educating all the way through.   Being in a school is NOT good socialization.  They can be properly "socialized" just being with you and your family.  Most of all you need to talk and tell him that you do not want to do this.

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:13 PM
I agree with the others someone is talking to him & making him think this way if it is all of a sudden that he is against it.
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:20 PM

Go to this website. It will tell you the ranking of the school and other statistics.
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:54 PM
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That wouldn't fly with me. If DH tried to make a decision like that without me I'd laugh at him. Way uncool. There is no way I would send my kids to ps if I still wanted to homeschool just because DH got it in his head to send them. And honestly, maybe I'm just difficult, but I wouldn't be wasting my time researching the school or why they shouldn't go. It would be on him to research why he thought they should and to give me enough reason to consider it. No way I'd go on the defense.
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by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:50 PM
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(unpopular opinion here)

I do believe he has as much "say" as you. They are as much his children as they are yours. To be fair about it, if you remove yourself, how much input did he have in the initial decision to homeschool them? Did he just go along with it or was he enthusiastic about it? Did he voice the desire for them to go to school but go alone with your wishes?

If you've done this from the beginning, I might be inclined to say that it's his turn.

A compromise maybe? The children can start the school year there and you will both re-evaluate at the middle of the year (christmas break) - including the children in the decision (and their opinions).

I guess, to me, my marriage and the general harmony of the home isn't something I'm willing to sacrifice just to homeschool. I do not believe brick and mortar school is evil, nor do I believe it's the worst thing possible for children. I'm an odd duck though, lol, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee

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