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I have homeschooled my kids from the beginning.  Chrissy is now in 5th grade and Jamie is in 3rd grade. I love homeschooling them.  Yes!  Sometimes things get loud and yes, sometimes, I have to lay down the law.  But, that's natural, right?  

Now, my husband works nights and sleeps during the day...the same time we homeschool.

Today, on his way out the door to work, he informs me that he will be stopping by the parish school board to find out what it would take to enroll the kids in school for the 2013-2014 school year.  That shocked me!!! This is first time he has ever said anything about not homeschooling the kids through graduation.  The thought of putting them in school makes me sick to my stomach.  He says it's not the noise during the day, but , that he wants them to start learning to get along with other children.  

What makes him think our kids don't get along with other children???  They have friends here in the neighborhood, at church and they even get along well with meeting new people.  

Everything in my being is crying "put your foot down and say NO!!"  The kids say that they don't want to go to school. My daughter even says she WILL NOT GO!!  

I just don't know what to do....

Help!!!

bad



by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:08 PM
Replies (11-20):
paris2lmp
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:46 AM

I don't know your husband, so its hard to say, but if this was the first and only time he has EVER mentioned an objection, or talked about sending the kids to public school, he could have just been having a moment of frustration.  I agree with the people saying you need to talk it out with him.  He could have been tired and grumpy and that was a knee-jerk response to some outside influence.  Someone COULD be talking to him at work about it.  He could have been thinking about it for weeks but didn't know how to broach the subject with you.  Could be almost anything.  I wouldn't jump to conclusions though, or throw out accusations without foundation.  The best thing is to listen whole-heartedly to what he has to say, then discuss your feelings on the matter.  I don't recommend going into the discussion with the intent to "make him see reason" because then you are basically already deciding that he is wrong and you are right.  Maybe have him talk to the kids and see how they feel about it too.  I don't know how your family dynamic works, but it COULD be that he is coming to this conclusion because of the way the kids interact with each other and not how they interact with other kids.  Hope it all works out!

cajunniki90
by Niki on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:30 AM
1 mom liked this

I grew up in the Lafayette Parish school system (public).  I graduated from it in 1990. My husband went to private school in Baton Rouge.  

When we were dating, we talked about marriage and family.  He told me that if he had kids he didn't want them in the Louisiana public school system.  I agreed, because of my passed experiences in the system and time spent substiute teaching in the same system.

Don't start jumping down my throat that my husband has the right to choose, either!  I do all the work of homeschooling the kids, but, have NEVER told him he didn't have a say!  My marriage and family ARE the reason I'm having a hard time with this.  I'm pure blood CAJUN, and believe me, I would have told him no, right off the bat, if my marriage and my husbands feelings are not important to me!

Getting off my pedestal now...

Now, my husband has me wondering of this isn't the best thing for our children...thus the confusion!!  I love teaching the kids, but, is that just me being selfish??   So confused!!

Anyways!  Thanks, again, ladies for all the support!

frustrated

Malley
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:45 AM
I'm in Louisiana too.

Did you register as homeschooling where you send in all the info and your kids take the state test or did you register as your own private school? If your kids have been taking the tests maybe you can use their scores to prove their progress to him.

Have you had a chance to talk to him and find out what brought this on? If he is set on school would he go take a tour and observe classes in the grade level your kids would be in?
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THELMAandLOUISE
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:04 PM

 

Quoting Mommy2Phenley:

That wouldn't fly with me. If DH tried to make a decision like that without me I'd laugh at him. Way uncool. There is no way I would send my kids to ps if I still wanted to homeschool just because DH got it in his head to send them. And honestly, maybe I'm just difficult, but I wouldn't be wasting my time researching the school or why they shouldn't go. It would be on him to research why he thought they should and to give me enough reason to consider it. No way I'd go on the defense.

 That wouldn't fly with me either. I'd be laughing so hard, I wouldn't be able to do any research (not that I would anyway.) LOL

mem82
by Platinum Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:40 PM

I hope you guys were able to talk more about it and figure out what has prompted this change of heart.

debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 5:35 PM
I don't think you are being selfish. I hope you can figure out all his reasons and each of you discuss both of your concerns. My husband was actually against fully homeschooling until I put my oldest in kindergarten and it was a nightmare. He is now 10 times more home school is the best and only way than me. I am sure if he taught the kids he would change his mind. Good luck.

Quoting cajunniki90:

I grew up in the Lafayette Parish school system (public).  I graduated from it in 1990. My husband went to private school in Baton Rouge.  

When we were dating, we talked about marriage and family.  He told me that if he had kids he didn't want them in the Louisiana public school system.  I agreed, because of my passed experiences in the system and time spent substiute teaching in the same system.

Don't start jumping down my throat that my husband has the right to choose, either!  I do all the work of homeschooling the kids, but, have NEVER told him he didn't have a say!  My marriage and family ARE the reason I'm having a hard time with this.  I'm pure blood CAJUN, and believe me, I would have told him no, right off the bat, if my marriage and my husbands feelings are not important to me!

Getting off my pedestal now...

Now, my husband has me wondering of this isn't the best thing for our children...thus the confusion!!  I love teaching the kids, but, is that just me being selfish??   So confused!!

Anyways!  Thanks, again, ladies for all the support!

frustrated

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kittyfaery
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:00 PM
I am feeling sad too. My husband decided to put my oldest back in school. I had to agree with him because with his attitude it has been stressful and hard on the whole family. We chose to go through a charter school because they had foreign language, science lab, pe and music. Now I am regretting it. I brought up doing it on our own but he doesn't have confidence my son will do any of the work and he hates seeing me so stressed. My son tends to be lazy. My husband was held back a grade as a kid and so the thought of my son falling behind scares him.
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MessedUpMama
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:24 AM
1 mom liked this

If you and your DH haven't had the time to talk yet, well even if you have, maybe a list of pros and cons about homeschooling would help each of you see and understand how the other person feels. Writing them down insures that each of you get your thoughts in, sometimes a face to face discussion ends up with only one problem talked about while leaving other issues behind some of which may be important. Use clear language so there won't be much if any misunderstanding. Give a reason and explain why it's better or worse than public schooling. For example: Con for public school: Our local schools suck. (Not clear enough) Because the schools in our area fall in the X percentile in the state, which is X in the country for successful education. Pro for public school: There are more children in a public school. (again not clear enough) So the children will have more chances to interact with children than they do while homeschooling.

It will help you to find points to discuss, and when you are writing it down you will have to really think about why you believe in a certain way.

Good luck.

MamaDearie
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:51 AM
2 moms liked this

I suppose I am a different type of woman. I would never allow anyone (including my DH) to just dictate things to me - especially pertaining to our children. If he wanted to have a civil conversation about it, I would be more than willing to listen to his views on the subject. But to just proclaim that he has made a decision about our lives and the future of our children? No, ma'am. That would NOT happen in our home.

"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother." (Lin Yutang)

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k.vickery26
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:14 AM
I'm trying desperately to get my GED so that I can lawfully homeschool my older 2 children. I have one in 3rd grade and one in 1st. Public schools have been a nightmare for us. We even sold our house to get them into a much better school. Come to find out socially and where ethics are concerned this school is actually worse! My advice is you both do research on why you should or should not do this. I don't even know where to begin to explain how much the teachers/administrators don't care about your children. I told them not to give my kids food that they're allergic to. They said they couldn't do that without a dr's note and that they have 600 something other kids they have to worry about. Basically my kids don't matter. Plead your case and stick to your guns! Hope it works out. Will be praying for you!
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