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ADD/ADHD moms help needed

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Part of the reason we started homeschooling was because DD wasn't doing great in PS. She wasn't doing poorly, but wasn't my idea of succeeding. Being dragged along with the class basically.

We have avoided medicating. I have been doing everything I have read to help her without medication. But I'm starting to wonder if anything short of medication is going to do the trick.

It's like... nothing sticks. She'll learn about something in math and won't be able to do it the next day. She'll complete a LA lesson and do fine, but when it comes time to take the test she doesn't do well. Things don't stick and it's driving me nuts!

We are child-led with everything but Math and Language Arts. It's driving me INSANE that she isn't succeeding in these two areas. I've tried different approaches to math but the results are always the same. We started doing multiplication and division probably October and still she isn't proficient enough (IMO) to move forward. My opinion of proficient would be 85% or better. I don't think that's asking too much.

I don't force her to do numerous problems. Only enough to make sure she "gets it." Sometimes that's only 4-5 problems. But ask her to do the same thing again the next day and she just shuts off. She has mastered low-digit multiplication/division but anything above 6 is meltdown territory. Even 9s... I've shown her the 9 hand trick more times than I care to count.

I'm losing my patience. She tells me she's stupid. I just don't know what else to do. She watches very little TV, plays outside plenty, lots of family/quality time, very little sugar, mostly gluten/dairy free (due to problems my other children have... she has made it impossible to be gfcf).

So what now?? I'm not trying to make medicating moms feel bad, it's just something I've always reserved as an "if all else fails" last resort.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:41 PM
Replies (11-19):
KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:17 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm not an expert, not a teacher... I'm just a mom.   My older kids have something going on, but I've never had a diagnosis because they do just fine at home.

Part of what we do is have plenty of different approaches.  Like, we have time4learning.com, we have Rod & Staff (very traditional and published by the Mennonite schools for their own use), we do curriculum and we do child led stuff... we watch educational videos, we have manipulatives, we do things multiple different ways.  We have a schedule that seems strict, and yet it has room in it for being able to stop and go run or shoot archery... we play banana grams and scrabble and other word games for spelling... we do madlibs, file folder games, etc...

We do curriculum, but in bites... we listen to books on tape while bending pipe cleaners into what we think the main character might look like.  

My kids know their math facts inside and out because we made posters of them... THEY made posters of them... first visual fact family type posters and then just the times table type lists.... then they said them while popping up like popcorn, they took turns popping with the question and the answer...

We did flashcards, then standing while flashcards, then standing on one foot while flashcards, then standing on one foot and rubbing our belly flashcards...  ((kept adding stuff to do until we were in giggles and the facts slowly stuck a few at a time))

after doing a short stint of flashcards, I'd put them online with games like Mathman or some other math game that reinforced the same...

Basically, ANY and EVERY resource has been used inside and out and upside down...   

We still struggle with focus, and we have tough days... but we also have some great times together, and the sillier and more exciting I can make it for my kids... the better it sticks...



wunderwifey
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this
You make it sound so easy! Their ADHD is one of my big hesitancies with HS. I hope it doesn't take me too long to figure out their styles.


Quoting kirbymom:

ADD and ADHD is not a disease or a malfunction in any way at all. They just mean that the brain connects in a different way. That is it. Nothing else. When you find out how the brain of the one who is ADD or ADHD works--thinks, then you have opened up the world for that person.  You have to learn how they think. They do not think like the rest of the world does.  Where you see something simple, they see something out of shape. Where you think you see something very complicated, they see something very simple. When you know this, you are able to accomodate the way a child learns.  Most of these kids need activity of a sort, in order to keep their minds on track.  They can usually multitask. Like listening to a radio or even a television program while doing something else.  They can even carry on a conversation too.  

I have 7 children. I am ADD. My husband is ADHD. Our children are a combination of either one of us.  It has been the bane of my teaching and the very blessings of my teaching!  And each one of my children had to be taught differently yet somehow the same.  So, I made one focus on this subject this way and another on the same subject with a different approach.  This type of teaching is a slow process at first but once you know what you need to do and have done it a few times, you actually can do really well with it.  


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zebrachick83
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:26 AM
1 mom liked this
My DH and I are also ADHD and we suspect that our other kids may be as well. Thanks for sharing.

Quoting kirbymom:

ADD and ADHD is not a disease or a malfunction in any way at all. They just mean that the brain connects in a different way. That is it. Nothing else. When you find out how the brain of the one who is ADD or ADHD works--thinks, then you have opened up the world for that person.  You have to learn how they think. They do not think like the rest of the world does.  Where you see something simple, they see something out of shape. Where you think you see something very complicated, they see something very simple. When you know this, you are able to accomodate the way a child learns.  Most of these kids need activity of a sort, in order to keep their minds on track.  They can usually multitask. Like listening to a radio or even a television program while doing something else.  They can even carry on a conversation too.  

I have 7 children. I am ADD. My husband is ADHD. Our children are a combination of either one of us.  It has been the bane of my teaching and the very blessings of my teaching!  And each one of my children had to be taught differently yet somehow the same.  So, I made one focus on this subject this way and another on the same subject with a different approach.  This type of teaching is a slow process at first but once you know what you need to do and have done it a few times, you actually can do really well with it.  

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KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:03 AM

oh, and as a side note, did you know that Ty Pennington (guy on extreme home makeover) has ADHD?   He says he and his parents never looked at it as a problem... they looked at it as a gift.   His parents encouraged him to go out in the woodshed/garage and just create and such to get his juices going...

Now look at the man!!!

mem82
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:34 AM

Aw, that's terrible.

Quoting kiwimom74:

That sounds exactly like DD (6) - we are awaiting diagnosis and see the specialist 2/20.

I tried changing her diet but nothing worked, my DD also has sleep issues and also says she is stupid, that everyone hates her.  While I am not strongly for or against medication I have seen a decline in her ability to focus in the last year along with poor organizational skills.  She has trouble retaining simple fact espeically in Math and she is a perfectionist which makes it doubly hard when she makes a simple error and starts her work all over again instead of just erasing it.

For us DD is still in private school where the class numbers are very low but this is one reason why I have gone back to deliberating whether or not homeschooling will be better for her.

I hope you find something that works...

hugs .


kirbymom
by Sonja on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:03 PM

lol -- That isn't my intention. To make it sound so easy.  It took me a long time to figure this out. With many a mistake in between. But, that is also the beauty of learning all about homeschooling and all about our children. And even learning about ourselves. We learn so much about ourselves and each other.  For my family, learning is a way of life. Even when we make mistakes. And believe me, we make a lot of them.  

Finding one's style sometimes means you, the parent, have to push them in a direction just to see if that is their style. Then you know either way. You may find that your child has several ways of learning and your job then is to find the right way to combine them. It's a process that happens over time.  I know that is seems like we know this stuff right off and should but life just doesn't work that way. And that is okay.  

You will get through this and everything will fall into place when it is supposed to.  Promise.  :)   And if you need to ask something, then go ahead. That is what we are here for. To help, to cheer, to support, to guide.  :)  

Quoting wunderwifey:

You make it sound so easy! Their ADHD is one of my big hesitancies with HS. I hope it doesn't take me too long to figure out their styles.


Quoting kirbymom:

ADD and ADHD is not a disease or a malfunction in any way at all. They just mean that the brain connects in a different way. That is it. Nothing else. When you find out how the brain of the one who is ADD or ADHD works--thinks, then you have opened up the world for that person.  You have to learn how they think. They do not think like the rest of the world does.  Where you see something simple, they see something out of shape. Where you think you see something very complicated, they see something very simple. When you know this, you are able to accomodate the way a child learns.  Most of these kids need activity of a sort, in order to keep their minds on track.  They can usually multitask. Like listening to a radio or even a television program while doing something else.  They can even carry on a conversation too.  

I have 7 children. I am ADD. My husband is ADHD. Our children are a combination of either one of us.  It has been the bane of my teaching and the very blessings of my teaching!  And each one of my children had to be taught differently yet somehow the same.  So, I made one focus on this subject this way and another on the same subject with a different approach.  This type of teaching is a slow process at first but once you know what you need to do and have done it a few times, you actually can do really well with it.  



awesomemommy2
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:28 PM

I dont agree medicating is the answer.   I an a special ed teacher have a few questions.   You mention that you are not child le in math and LA so then is she "getting" science and history.   What are you doing with those subjects and try to apply it with the math and LA.   What apporach are you taking to the multiplying.   I suggest doing everything in threes.   You teach it three times, do it togehter three times and then have her do it in front of you three times.   If she doesnt get it thats okay.  Wait until later or next day and then do the threes over.  Once that has been mastered three times you can then move on.  


As an aside dont do division until she has mastered multiplication.  


If you have any specifics please let me know.   Also maybe consider a tutor.   Sometimes the close relationship can be a detriment.   

kirbymom
by Sonja on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:34 PM

You are soooo welcome!  I feel that if my sharing my experiences may help someone, then it is worth it to share them.  :)  

Quoting zebrachick83:

My DH and I are also ADHD and we suspect that our other kids may be as well. Thanks for sharing.

Quoting kirbymom:

ADD and ADHD is not a disease or a malfunction in any way at all. They just mean that the brain connects in a different way. That is it. Nothing else. When you find out how the brain of the one who is ADD or ADHD works--thinks, then you have opened up the world for that person.  You have to learn how they think. They do not think like the rest of the world does.  Where you see something simple, they see something out of shape. Where you think you see something very complicated, they see something very simple. When you know this, you are able to accomodate the way a child learns.  Most of these kids need activity of a sort, in order to keep their minds on track.  They can usually multitask. Like listening to a radio or even a television program while doing something else.  They can even carry on a conversation too.  

I have 7 children. I am ADD. My husband is ADHD. Our children are a combination of either one of us.  It has been the bane of my teaching and the very blessings of my teaching!  And each one of my children had to be taught differently yet somehow the same.  So, I made one focus on this subject this way and another on the same subject with a different approach.  This type of teaching is a slow process at first but once you know what you need to do and have done it a few times, you actually can do really well with it.  


amandae21
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 3:10 PM

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the input!

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