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Frustrations with preschooler

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I am planning on homeschooling my two children. To get started I decided to homeschool my four year old daughter for preschool as well. It goes well but sometimes there are little things that become huge frustrations for me. I feel discouraged because if I am not able to handle these little things how will I be able to homeschool for the next 15 years or so? My husband and I realized that she should be able to count to a hundred by now but she isn't even flawlessly counting to 20. I decided to work on that today. She has been counting to ten since she was 2 and a half. I gave her twenty beans and asked her to drop them in a cup one by one and count as she went. I expected her to get confused around 14 but all of the sudden she acts like she can't even count to ten. I know she can because she does it all the time. I make her start over when she messes up since I know she can count. She has been forgetting even numbers like 3 and 7. It seems like such a small thing but I feel like it frustrates me and makes me feel like I taught her nothing. If this tiny thing frustrates me then how will I be able to deal with the much huger frustrations in the future?

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 4:44 PM
Replies (21-26):
kirbymom
by Sonja on Feb. 14, 2013 at 2:33 PM

I whole heartedly agree with this!  No one likes to be put on display, even for mommy.  

Quoting usmom3:

 Don't take this the wrong way but it sounds to me like she doesn't want to perform for you. Most kids that know information & are made to show they know it will pretend not to know it as a form of exerting their control over themselves & the situation.

What you should do is get out all your change (you know you have some in the car & in the bottom of your purse) Sit on the floor with it & separate out the penny's (don't tell your daughter to join you or anything just do this all on your own) count the penny's & the other coins out loudto yourself(this will attract her attention to what you are doing if she hasn't already shown interest). When she shows interest tell her that you are counting the money & invite her to join you. Give her her own pile of penny's & let her count if she makes a mistake just gently tell her what the number is & go on (don't make her start over this is frustrating to anyone but especially a child). If your daughter is anything like my kids she will be counting penny's to a higher number then you thought she knew all because it doesn't look like work or Mom making her do something.

 


Iamme-Imamom
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this
My son can frustrate me when it comes to doing what little we do, but then there are those times when he amazes me & writes a letter. I must remember to let him learn at his pace & do what things he likes to do at this age. He's 4 & knows his abc's & can count to 20 & knows a few words. I think that's great. He's just a little reserved around kids his own age, but babies & bigger kids he does well with. All kids do diiferent things at different times. Have fun with her because this time never comes back. : ( Good luck!
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KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:53 PM
1 mom liked this

This is what I was thinking... that she was parroting or just had the words, "One, two, three..." and so on memorized and now she's thinking that it actually MEANS something.

I was also thinking about what others said about how she is choosing to do poorly simply because she doesn't want to "perform" and that is accurate, too.

Then, there is my 4 yr old (almost 5) and her ability to focus is like what happens when you heat water molecules.. they "spaz" and boil.   She KNOWS how to count and CAN if she is in the right frame of mind, however, paying attention to actually doing it is another story.   She points to things on a page to count, and her finger will bounce over four of them, skip one, etc... and she will have counted out loud slower or faster than her finger was touching so she ends up with a way different number.   And this is anything over 6 or 7 items.

I'm not sure how I'm going to teach her... really.   Sometimes, she's so hyper, she runs in circles like a dog chasing it's tail non-stop and squeals and snorts and yells "haaa haaaa haa " snort.. "choke" fall down.. plunk... rolls on the floor pounding her feet snorting hilarously at the top of her lungs!!!!!!!!  She is just so high energy that there are times she just CANNOT tune other stuff out enough to count to three!

But.. she is starting to add and subtract on her own, and I'm pretty impressed with that.


Quoting AutymsMommy:


Don't let reasonable expectations make her miserable. This is a great age to inspire a love of learning. You are no worse off if she can't count to 20. It may simply be beyond her abilities. Perhaps at 2 she was only parroting and now her brain is processing *more* regarding the numbers.

Quoting mslamom2:

Ok so I looked at it. Except for the emotional/social part, which we are still working on of course, she has been able to do all those things since she was 2 and a half and she is four and a half now. If she has been able to count to ten for two years I think it is reasonable for me to expect her to learn to count to 20 now. The only thing that dumbfounds me is that when put under pressure to count she suddenly forgets how to count at all.





Mommy2Phenley
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:33 AM
The energy part sounds a lot like my DD. we've found a few things that sometimes help a little. Mainly a mini trampoline and sensory tubs. Now, mind you, this doesn't get her anywhere near calm, quiet, or still, but it can take the edge off when she's totally bouncing off the walls and climbing bookcases upside down. The sensory tubs can calm her enough to spend a few minutes doing table work. She still may flip onto her head between questions, but she hears the question in the first place and that's what counts.


Quoting KrissyKC:

This is what I was thinking... that she was parroting or just had the words, "One, two, three..." and so on memorized and now she's thinking that it actually MEANS something.

I was also thinking about what others said about how she is choosing to do poorly simply because she doesn't want to "perform" and that is accurate, too.

Then, there is my 4 yr old (almost 5) and her ability to focus is like what happens when you heat water molecules.. they "spaz" and boil.   She KNOWS how to count and CAN if she is in the right frame of mind, however, paying attention to actually doing it is another story.   She points to things on a page to count, and her finger will bounce over four of them, skip one, etc... and she will have counted out loud slower or faster than her finger was touching so she ends up with a way different number.   And this is anything over 6 or 7 items.

I'm not sure how I'm going to teach her... really.   Sometimes, she's so hyper, she runs in circles like a dog chasing it's tail non-stop and squeals and snorts and yells "haaa haaaa haa " snort.. "choke" fall down.. plunk... rolls on the floor pounding her feet snorting hilarously at the top of her lungs!!!!!!!!  She is just so high energy that there are times she just CANNOT tune other stuff out enough to count to three!

But.. she is starting to add and subtract on her own, and I'm pretty impressed with that.



Quoting AutymsMommy:


Don't let reasonable expectations make her miserable. This is a great age to inspire a love of learning. You are no worse off if she can't count to 20. It may simply be beyond her abilities. Perhaps at 2 she was only parroting and now her brain is processing *more* regarding the numbers.


Quoting mslamom2:

Ok so I looked at it. Except for the emotional/social part, which we are still working on of course, she has been able to do all those things since she was 2 and a half and she is four and a half now. If she has been able to count to ten for two years I think it is reasonable for me to expect her to learn to count to 20 now. The only thing that dumbfounds me is that when put under pressure to count she suddenly forgets how to count at all.








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BramblePatch
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Your DD is not the star of a dog and pony show. Don't expect her to do tricks on command.
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mslamom2
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:17 AM

I agree about this being a time for encouraging the love of learing. When I see her get frustrated I go onto a new fun activity or call school over for the day. The only reason I had her start over, though, is because I was trying to insert the number for her but it would only confuse her more and she would forget the next number. I would encourage her to start at 1 to avoid confusion. The way I wrote it made it sound like I was saying "You made a mistake! Start over now!" Nothing else really frustrated me about homeschooling except that my daughter sometimes forgets stuff that I feel like she really GOT before. I am starting to understand now that kids process things, first memorizing, and then actually learning. 

I feel encouraged to have all these women on here that give me such helpful and honest input. That has helped a lot already!

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