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Frustrations with preschooler

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I am planning on homeschooling my two children. To get started I decided to homeschool my four year old daughter for preschool as well. It goes well but sometimes there are little things that become huge frustrations for me. I feel discouraged because if I am not able to handle these little things how will I be able to homeschool for the next 15 years or so? My husband and I realized that she should be able to count to a hundred by now but she isn't even flawlessly counting to 20. I decided to work on that today. She has been counting to ten since she was 2 and a half. I gave her twenty beans and asked her to drop them in a cup one by one and count as she went. I expected her to get confused around 14 but all of the sudden she acts like she can't even count to ten. I know she can because she does it all the time. I make her start over when she messes up since I know she can count. She has been forgetting even numbers like 3 and 7. It seems like such a small thing but I feel like it frustrates me and makes me feel like I taught her nothing. If this tiny thing frustrates me then how will I be able to deal with the much huger frustrations in the future?

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 4:44 PM
Replies (11-20):
mem82
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 6:36 PM
Have you tried board games, puzzles, and card games. 20 may sound scary far to count to her. My son will freak out that he *can't * do something to the point he won't do something he can already do.
How old is your other child? Start teaching the younger to count and your dd may want to show off and count higher. Lol
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Mommy2Phenley
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like a lot of pressure for her. Making her start over probably gets her flustered. Kids this age also like to dig in their heels and be uncooperative. Pushing does not help and will only turn them off to school.

When DD makes a mistake in reading or counting, I just insert the correct number or word and let her keep going. I also try to keep it interesting, not just drill. If I just sat down and basically told her "we're counting now. Let's hear you count to 20" she'd look at me like I had three heads. I get out some blocks and tell her they're cookies. I count out ten to give to her and ask her to give me ten. Then ask her how many cookies we have now. Conversationally, not quiz-like. That's just an example. And we do have a math curriculum we use, so she knows when we are "doing math" but we only do it when she is willing and I still keep it fun. At this age, I don't make her do lessons.

I'm slowly encouraging doing school more regularly, but it won't be required of her daily until 1st. When we start K next year I'm going to be more on it than now, but I still won't force her if she really isn't into it some days. Teaching them to love learning is more important right now. They will pick up the rest quickly when they are ready.
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PinkButterfly66
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 7:39 PM

4 y/o's can't count to 100.  Letter and number confusion is normal for 4 year olds.  

oredeb
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:05 AM
2 moms liked this

 hi mslamon!!

hey who made up that rule that a child should be counting to 100 by age 4??

mine never did! and they are homeschooled all the way, married, working, adults!

ms dont worry about stuff like that, thats not gona help her enjoy learning!

i know its hard not to be upset when you know they know something , but you gotta be tricky when they are in that mindset! hahahaha does she like m and ms? have her count them in piles of ten! and then give them to her! or use beans and m and ms!(so she dont get to many m and ms!!)

make up a m and m chart, each day count and  let her put a sticker up there after she counts to a certain number and tell her it equals an m and m or something like that! make it fun !! beans are not fun!hahahahah

shes only 4 try doing lots of arts and crafts stuff, with both kids involved, i started with that , memorizing songs, active stuff!  we didnt do any academics till they were ready, and that was at different ages when they were ready! and be sure to involve your younger child!!

Leissaintexas
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:16 AM
4 moms liked this

I would really suggest reading the book "Better Late Than Early" by Raymond Moore. There is a lot of research suggesting that formal education shouldn't start until age 7-9. I didn't do preschool with any of my children and there really is no difference between their learning and a child who did preschool. There is no benefit to a 4 yr old to be able to count to 100. She needs to be working on fine motor skills, creative play, and interaction with others, not performance academics.

faeriemom1972
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:49 AM

You've gotten a lot of great advice. When I was first starting with my son I would have hated all this great advice, lol. I wanted to know how to be 'formal' and more like a brick and mortar school. I cringe at that mindset now, and am grateful that it didn't take long to get out of it. 

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:58 AM


It's fine that she can't count to 100 (I don't know many four year olds who can), but there is also nothing wrong with starting formal academics early, if that is what the OP is more comfortable with.

Quoting Leissaintexas:

I would really suggest reading the book "Better Late Than Early" by Raymond Moore. There is a lot of research suggesting that formal education shouldn't start until age 7-9. I didn't do preschool with any of my children and there really is no difference between their learning and a child who did preschool. There is no benefit to a 4 yr old to be able to count to 100. She needs to be working on fine motor skills, creative play, and interaction with others, not performance academics.



I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this

 My oldest son used to "forget" things he "knew" all the time.  When a child is having a growth spurt, or a learning jump in a different area, they often "forget" things they know for a while.  Then they get the hang of it again.  Having her start all over again when she makes a mistake is going to frustrate her and will not foster a love of learning. 

Now about the teens.  Teens are very difficult for little kids because they do not follow the pattern.  They really should be onety-one, onety-two, etc.  But they aren't.  And worse is the fact that they begin one way and then switch to another, it's not even oneteen, twoteen.  Very very difficult concept for little ones to master.  Counting to 20 is a reasonable goal, but relax about it.  Count the stairs as you walk down them in the morning, count the eggs in the carton as you make breakfast together, count the cheese pieces at snack time, count the keys on your keyring, count the tiles on the floor,  count the cracks in the sidewalk.  Make it a part of all the time, not just "formal" school time. 

Also a typical 4 yo has a 15-20 minute attention span, but if anf only if they are doing something they like to do.  If she's not liking the bean counting, her attention span is going to be that 3rd or 7th bean.

Relax and let her lead you. 

kirbymom
by Sonja on Feb. 14, 2013 at 2:32 PM

Ha I had to do this with one of my kids.  lol   They thought that they should get to have this as a fun snack moment loaded with lots of giggles in between. :)

Quoting oredeb:

 hi mslamon!!

hey who made up that rule that a child should be counting to 100 by age 4??

mine never did! and they are homeschooled all the way, married, working, adults!

ms dont worry about stuff like that, thats not gona help her enjoy learning!

i know its hard not to be upset when you know they know something , but you gotta be tricky when they are in that mindset! hahahaha does she like m and ms? have her count them in piles of ten! and then give them to her! or use beans and m and ms!(so she dont get to many m and ms!!)

make up a m and m chart, each day count and  let her put a sticker up there after she counts to a certain number and tell her it equals an m and m or something like that! make it fun !! beans are not fun!hahahahah

shes only 4 try doing lots of arts and crafts stuff, with both kids involved, i started with that , memorizing songs, active stuff!  we didnt do any academics till they were ready, and that was at different ages when they were ready! and be sure to involve your younger child!!


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