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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Need to Vent... Advice is appreciated too.

Posted by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:35 AM
  • 12 Replies

So today I get a text message from my ex- husband saying, I should put my son back in school due to the fact that my son has mentioned nothing doing at homeschool except coloring. I've been doing this for a week straight now. At first he mentioned he and his current wife were supportive at first. I don't know what's went wrong now. I even offered to show him my son's portfolio, so he could see how much progress my son has made. The reply I receive was "we'll just let the judge decide this."

 

I can't believe him. If my ex-husband knew how much my son struggled to not go to school. Have 3 teachers hold him back so I could just leave the school. How much my son was picked on while he was at school.

I'm just feeling frustrated right now. I feel like I take one step forward forty steps back.

 

by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jinx-Troublex3
by Jinx on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:05 AM
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((HUGS))

Who has custody? is it Joint? If you are primary, then your Ex - has no say in the matter.(At least in my state)

Would there be a compromise? I use a state public Charter School. It is the best of both worlds. I have the freedom of homeschooling with minimal reporting but DH gets a report card and is happy that we have "someone keeping an eye on things"

How old is your DS? You mention coloring , so I'm assuming K? There is SO much time for formal learning. How responsive is your DH to being informed. There is a book, "Better Late than Early"  that is a great read for homeschoolers.

You might also recommend any of John Taylor Gatto's material SEE WEBSITE

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

JKronrod
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:11 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm a little confused.   Have you only been home schooling for a week, and he's complaining after saying he was okay with it?   If so, that's game playing, IMO.  Only thing to do is to get your lawyer on it.  And, you might try looking at the Home School Legal Defense Association website.  I don't think they work with divorce situations, but they might be able to help your attorney frame things properly for the judge.  Good luck!

romacox
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:21 AM
1 mom liked this

hugs

Boobah
by Nikki :) on Feb. 18, 2013 at 8:09 AM
1 mom liked this
Thats pretty crappy of him. Kids often say "nothing" when asked what they learned. I know my 7 .5 year old does it all the time and it drives me bonkers. She has to be prompted to remember, but then can tell you all about it.
Id call him when you are both calm, and explain how awful it was for your child in school and let him know what you are learning. Assure him it isnt just coloring, and tell him you would really like to sit down with them and discuss the portfolio amd talk about the curric you are using. And you can answer any questions he has then. Its not fair to your child to not give it a chance.
if that fails, I would also get a lawyer involved.
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KLove_Mom
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:00 AM
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You should ask those teachers and principal or anyone else with knowledge of the bullying events to write you a letter describing your child's behavior at the school and what happened. They don't have to say that it's good for you to homeschool, just tell what DID happen when he was at school.

Then you should make up formal lesson plans (most states require that anyway). Just something written down to show how you will progress in work the next month.

A judge will be able to see that a week isn't a very long transition time, and if you have a plan in place it should be fine.

irvinehiker
by Andrea on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:40 AM
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I would think about the legalities too like some of the other posters have said.  Who has custody and what can he legally do?  Many people are opposed to homeschooling because they are not fully educated about it.  I would make a list of why you made this decision and what the benefits are.  I would research the statistics.  Children who are homeschooled score much higher on standardized tests.  Best of luck, I hope everything works out.  

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:28 PM
1 mom liked this
In many states it doesn't matter who has primary; both parents have to agree to homeschooling otherwise the default is public school. Hugs op. That is really crappy of him.


Quoting irvinehiker:

I would think about the legalities too like some of the other posters have said.  Who has custody and what can he legally do?  Many people are opposed to homeschooling because they are not fully educated about it.  I would make a list of why you made this decision and what the benefits are.  I would research the statistics.  Children who are homeschooled score much higher on standardized tests.  Best of luck, I hope everything works out.  


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mem82
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:49 PM
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I'm sorry. 8( I'm not sure what to tell you. Maybe look up the HSDLA? It's the homeschool defense legal aid. They might be able to point you in the right direction. They'll give you some basic advice and even if you have to join they are cheaper than other lawyers by far.

ElisabethCHale
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:03 PM
3 moms liked this

Thanks guys for the advice. I did a lot of research today and I feel that I'm better prepared for him if he actually goes through with this. Today he told me the reason why he isn't for homeschool now is because my son was talking about it to the other children (his current wife's children) and they started pitching a fit for homeschool.

MaraJade27
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 3:32 PM
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Quoting ElisabethCHale:

Thanks guys for the advice. I did a lot of research today and I feel that I'm better prepared for him if he actually goes through with this. Today he told me the reason why he isn't for homeschool now is because my son was talking about it to the other children (his current wife's children) and they started pitching a fit for homeschool.

Well, he needs to tell his wife to be awesome like you and home school. ;)

I'm a stepmom who home schools my son and my three stepsons. Their stepfather is not my biggest fan, in part because HE has kids and isn't home schooling them or organized and disciplined with them and our stepsons as I am with the stepsons. It's not my house, not my problem. That has become our blended family mantra.

--Mara
SAHM   and teacher to my kids. 3yo DS, 16yo, 7yo, and 9yo stepsons (50/50). Hippie chic, cloth diapering mama, natural childbirth advocate, and still in love with my wonderful husband after we've been through so much together.

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