how do you motivate your kids?
in school work ?
Well, I get a whip and a cupcake...
ROTFL!!!!! Girl you always make me laugh!
Quoting mem82:Well, I get a whip and a cupcake...LOL
Well, it depends. No motivation is needed for school. My boys love to learn. In fact, I get more static when its time to be done for the day.
Chores....well, we teach that responsibility is part of life and if you don't take care of your things, you won't have them anymore. If it gets too bad, we will temporarily confiscate toys to demonstrate the concept. That usually does the trick.
Overall behavior, is based on a reward/consequence system. We've learned that giving rewards (proportionately) and taking away privileges (again, proportionately) works the best for us. We're trying to instill that our choices are what directly impact the outcome.
We are a family and we work together. We strive for teamwork in all things. House and school is a cooperative effort. I work to offer my children choices. You can pick up your room and keep your tablet privelege or not pick up your room and loose the tablet for a day, you decide. I try my best to not control my children. They make the choices and live with the consequesnces.
Choices have consequences in our house. My oldest son decided not to do his chore (laundry) I did everyone else's laundry, but his just sat there. One morning he had no pants. He did the laundry that very day (hmmmm wonder why?) The "toy fairy" (they know it's me) comes in at night and everything they haven't put away goes into her box, they get them back in a week. I got tired of stepping on leggos =0
With school work, they have been choosing what to learn so they have been excited to do it. Every once in a very great while (when we were doing k12 and work was like pulling teeth) I would threaten them with going to the brick and mortar,( my oldest still tells people how much he hates that school every time we drive past it!) Goodness in our house that goes over as well as lets walk over hot coals! HAHA! They really snap to it!
Lessons that motivate.
Free Time begins when chores are done.
School work? Bribery works well and I'm certainly not above it.
Chores? Allowance. DD11 has an allowance and while it isn't directly tied to chores, she knows that if her chores (minimal as it is) aren't done, her allowance will dwindle (she gets a base allowance every month; she also has the opportunity to earn extra by doing "hated" chores - chores that we all hate doing, but must be done... like scooping dog poop left by our awesome 110 lb German Shepherd, lol). Chores are never really a hassle here though - she is a very "happy helper" around the house. Puberty is hitting and her overall attitude isn't quite as cheerful, but she still doesn't complain. Lol.
I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol). Aimee
Every month we all work on a life skill. This month it is intrinsic motivation. Last month it was trust. I randomly help them with their chores and they return the favor. I talk to them about the value of hard work. How it is not fair for one person to do all the work. We have two very important sayings around here. Attitude is everything and families work together. I also take karate with my boys. It is great for motivation and self discipline. I look for ways to work these they love into things they are not crazy about. My boys love learning and are full of questions. I follow their interests and know things will get covered in time. I also give them options in chores and school work. I ask for their input and welcome their ideas to do things differently. I never tell them because I told you to. I explain why I do things a certain way and if things come up that are not easy to explain why I simply tell them they need to trust. I also tell them I will always have their best interest at heart. My greatest way I motivate my children is by modeling correct behavior. I love laying things around like books and activities that sparks their imagination. Every morning we all write 7 daily goals we wish to accomplish.
Send her this way, please??! She could probably teach a few of my kids how she does it then. lol
Quoting AutymsMommy:School work? Bribery works well and I'm certainly not above it.Chores? Allowance. DD11 has an allowance and while it isn't directly tied to chores, she knows that if her chores (minimal as it is) aren't done, her allowance will dwindle (she gets a base allowance every month; she also has the opportunity to earn extra by doing "hated" chores - chores that we all hate doing, but must be done... like scooping dog poop left by our awesome 110 lb German Shepherd, lol). Chores are never really a hassle here though - she is a very "happy helper" around the house. Puberty is hitting and her overall attitude isn't quite as cheerful, but she still doesn't complain. Lol.
Weeeeelllll... This week is a good example of what happens when chores don't get done...My daughter is in charge of doing dishes. I will NOT do them for her, so they have been sitting in the sink since Monday (driving me absolutely bonkers). She keeps *promising* me that she'll do them in the morning...and doesn't... So last night when I went to make dinner, I had nothing to make dinner with! I told her since her friend was over (we baby sit her after school til her mom gets home from work throughoutthe week) that I'll wash this one pan and asked when she'd get the rest done. Her response, "Tomorrow night." WRONG. I busted out laughing and told her to go scrub toilets. She through a huge fit and I added on scrubbing floors. She asked what she did to get in trouble. My response when I stopped laughing again, "Not doing your chores when you're supposed to and a really really dumb answer. But since you really apparently didn't know, I'll give you two choices. Either scrub toilets and floors, or starve until TOMORROW NIGHT after you do the dishes." She picked the toilets and floors. Since I was still working on dinner she had to wait to do the floors, and threw a huge fit about not getting to do the floors first, so she got scrubbing walls added on too.My neighbor came home and pickedu p her daughter and after she tucked her in called and asked if she could come and talk for a little bit about something that was bugging her (it was around 10) and I said of course. Before she got to my kitchen, her daughter came running over and throwing a fit that she left. My neighbor tried to get her to go back but the whining got worse so I told her, either go home where it's cozy and warm, your mom will be back in less than 5 minutes, or you can sit in my freezing basement and fold socks. She starts throwing a massive fit begging her mom not to make her do it, and I butt in again with, " You know what just happened to Jamie and I'm sure she'd LOVE to have someone help her with the floors and I'm sure your mom would LOVE squeaky clean floors too." She shut up immediately and went to fold socks. ...I would've went home... but I have folded socks now so I won't complain! My neighbor loved it since it was the first time she did what she was told with no fighting back. Usually, these sorts of ultimatums prevent me from having to motivate for chores...this was just an off week, and a reminder to how crazy Mom can be. School - I usually don't have to motivate, except for reading and writing...and that is a battle I'm still working on. With my little guy, no motivation needed for school. For chores, I threaten to decapitate "Guy." (I seriously never would do it but he doesn't know that....yet....) He gets his stuff done super fast lol.
Connect with CafeMom:
Switch to Mobile Site
Getting Started Guide
Frequently Asked Questions
Part of the CafeMom family
© 2014 CMI Marketing, Inc. All rights reserved.