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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Can't Win! (OT..but not really) *Vent*

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 11:40 PM
  • 17 Replies
My MIL has made it very clear since day one that she is not supportive of our homeschooling. She got mad at me about something homeschool related a couple of years ago and didn't speak to me for over 6 months! She missed my youngest daughters birth, Thanks giving and Christmas. Ok what ever.
We went to the zoo last week and since it is near where they lived we bought everyone pizza and took it to them so they could see the kids. They live about two hours away from us nd we do not see them often. The last time we saw them was September. The kids were so excited and couldn't wait to talk to them and share all their new stories with them.
She even texted me the next day to say how much they had grow and how impressed she was at what they knew.
Well fast forward about a week. We were talking on the phone last night and were discussing car mileage. I made the comment that hubby was talking about getting me a different van.(my van has high miles and we got it dirt cheap) But I had told him not to bother because I like my van. It just needs a little work, plus I don't put a lot of miles on a car.(plus Hubby is a mechanic/body man) We have had it 9 months and have put less than 4k on it since we got it. Recently because it has needed a little work we have been taking hubbies truck when we go out as a whole family.(hubby has been covered up with work in the garage and hasn't had a chance to work on my van)
Sure we got to the store, shopping, little field trips etc. But it is Winter we don't run a lot..never have. I'm sure when they get older and have more activities it will be different.
We move onto a different topic and about 3 minutes later, she just flips out on me. Saying that I don't take them out enough and I should take them on field trips. I pointed out that we went to the zoo the week before and to their house for a visit. Also that we don't run a lot in the Winter especially with the nasty weather we had had recently.(I also mentioned that we had been hiking twice and out shopping the two weeks before that)
That just wasn't good enough for her. She then proceeded that I (being a sahm with NOTHING to do) had more time than anyone on my hands and should be taking trips/field trips all the time. I asked her just where we should be going. She said should could make a list a mile long. I (was refusing to engage her anger..because I am not quite sure what started all this) joking said I would like to see her list. She then (realising that I wasn't going to get upset) informed me that I wouldn't want to see her list..and that I have too much time on my hands to be sitting at home doing nothing.
I tried to point out that we have school to do, chores to do, I help hubby run a business, we eat at home three meals a day(someone has to cook those meals), laundry, etc..and I don't have as much 'time on my hands' as people like to think

She informed me that I was just making excuses. And that I should be putting a lot more miles on my car than that.
Um..what.????
(Sigh)
Like I said. I can't win. :(
Sorry this is so long, I just needed to put it out there. Not sure why she seems to think everything I do is wrong.
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by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 11:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
usmom3
by BJ on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this
She sounds like someone that just likes to complain & boss others around. I would not talk to her about anything that would give her ammo to use to complain & put me down with.
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tiredmomfor2
by **Lyndsay** on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:42 AM
I normally try my best to avoid all education related conversations. Especially after the last time
I had no idea that the mileage on my car could make me a bad mom. Lol
It makes me feel bad for the kids. They love their grandparents. We haven't given them any reason not to...but every time she pulls crap like this she doesn't talk to them for months and I am left with children who want to know why. Clearly it is her loss...but it stinks that they don't have grandparents that really care.


Quoting usmom3:

She sounds like someone that just likes to complain & boss others around. I would not talk to her about anything that would give her ammo to use to complain & put me down with.

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kttycat84
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 2:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry she's not more supportive. For what it's worth, you get out more than we do :) I don't have a license, so we only leave the house/immediate neighborhood when hubby has a day off work. My kids aren't suffering for their lack of field trips and I'm sure yours aren't either, lol. It's not like public schools have field trips all of the time either :)

debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 2:22 AM
1 mom liked this

 Sorry just ignore it.  She doesnt know what she is talking about.

usmom3
by BJ on Mar. 1, 2013 at 3:58 AM
If I where you I would confront her & call her out on how she blowers your kids off when ever she gets mad at you. Point out to her that she is acting childish & that the children are the ones being punished not you by her withdrawing from their lives when you piss her off. If I was worried that she wouldn't listen to me I would have my hubby talk to her.

Quoting tiredmomfor2:

I normally try my best to avoid all education related conversations. Especially after the last time

I had no idea that the mileage on my car could make me a bad mom. Lol

It makes me feel bad for the kids. They love their grandparents. We haven't given them any reason not to...but every time she pulls crap like this she doesn't talk to them for months and I am left with children who want to know why. Clearly it is her loss...but it stinks that they don't have grandparents that really care.




Quoting usmom3:

She sounds like someone that just likes to complain & boss others around. I would not talk to her about anything that would give her ammo to use to complain & put me down with.

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wunderwifey
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 8:28 AM
2 moms liked this
My youngest didn't go on a single field trip last year with PS. The oldest went on one. I wish we only had 4k miles on our car. We got it in May last year. We've put 27k miles on it. Driving all the time is not necessarily a good thing. And I know your DH can testify to that.
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bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 8:45 AM
1 mom liked this

 I have a similar MIL, never know when she's going to go off.  I know this doesn't help you now, but in a few years your kids are going to begin to ask HER why she doesn't like them, why she doesn't call etc.  That will set her back on her heels.  Nothing you say will really make her see that she is hurting the kids and herself.  And you will just be the bad guy if you say anything or at least that is my experience.

 

Quoting tiredmomfor2:

I normally try my best to avoid all education related conversations. Especially after the last time
I had no idea that the mileage on my car could make me a bad mom. Lol
It makes me feel bad for the kids. They love their grandparents. We haven't given them any reason not to...but every time she pulls crap like this she doesn't talk to them for months and I am left with children who want to know why. Clearly it is her loss...but it stinks that they don't have grandparents that really care.


Quoting usmom3:

She sounds like someone that just likes to complain & boss others around. I would not talk to her about anything that would give her ammo to use to complain & put me down with.

 

tiredmomfor2
by **Lyndsay** on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:14 AM
I got my van in May as well. :) It was a fixer upper, most of our cars are. Needed a little body work and a new hub. The woman who sold it said it was worthless...and sold it for $1500....it is a $5k+ van. Put a new hub on it and hubby has been fixing and painting it as he has time. It is in need of general repair/maintenance right now.
Love my van!


Quoting wunderwifey:

My youngest didn't go on a single field trip last year with PS. The oldest went on one. I wish we only had 4k miles on our car. We got it in May last year. We've put 27k miles on it. Driving all the time is not necessarily a good thing. And I know your DH can testify to that.

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mem82
by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:19 AM
1 mom liked this
Urgh! Your mil and my brother would get along splendidly.
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tiredmomfor2
by **Lyndsay** on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:20 AM
I don't think she would listen to my husband either. She is his step mom.
I was talking to him about it last night. If we should say something to her or not. If we do, she probably wont speak to us for a very long time. It is just weird that she just picks random things to flip out on me about. It isn't important why she does it, it just needs to stop.
I would get it if they were not learning anything and couldn't function in a public setting. They are learning a lot and know how to mind their p's and Q's in public.
I am going to have to build up some serious courage before I say anything to her. Lol I am not the type to confront.
Ok I am done rambling.


Quoting usmom3:

If I where you I would confront her & call her out on how she blowers your kids off when ever she gets mad at you. Point out to her that she is acting childish & that the children are the ones being punished not you by her withdrawing from their lives when you piss her off. If I was worried that she wouldn't listen to me I would have my hubby talk to her.



Quoting tiredmomfor2:

I normally try my best to avoid all education related conversations. Especially after the last time


I had no idea that the mileage on my car could make me a bad mom. Lol


It makes me feel bad for the kids. They love their grandparents. We haven't given them any reason not to...but every time she pulls crap like this she doesn't talk to them for months and I am left with children who want to know why. Clearly it is her loss...but it stinks that they don't have grandparents that really care.






Quoting usmom3:

She sounds like someone that just likes to complain & boss others around. I would not talk to her about anything that would give her ammo to use to complain & put me down with.


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