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Socialization: what doyou do?

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Honestly I am about to go stir crazy. All I do is stay home, homeschooling and tending to the house. Even before the driveshaft fell out, I had no where to go to socialize. The home schooling group closest to me is 45 miles away, so I can Only go once or twice a month, but the talk is only about home school-- there is no "moms day out," the moms atswimming are not interested in talking, the moms at the library and play grounds will talk with me one week, but not thenext. I go to church, but it is over an Hour away, so not much of a chance to hang out there, and my religion demands a lot of voluntarism, but once again that isn't socialization.
I have lived in this area for 8 years now and only know 5 women ( wives of my DH's coworkers) and they ignore me at functions and are always apologizing to DH when he finds out there was a get together and I wasn't invited. ( we didn't think she'd like to go shopping for swimsuits, we didn't think shed like to see a popular movie, she reads such esoteric things we didn't think shed like to join a book club, go clubbing, go drinking etc) I never get calls or emails , so I don't even get a chance to accept or refuse.
I have tried setting up meetup groups, yahoo friends, craiglist meetups, and leaving messageson the library community boards. I have joined reading clubs, mall walking groups, crafting groups only to have them all fizzle out within a few meeting- and some were around for years.
I'm about to just look for a night job to be able to interact with people and still homeschool.
So ladies please. What do you do to avoid or combat the isolation of homeschooling?
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:29 PM
Replies (11-19):
elizabooks
by Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 11:21 AM
Sorry about the misspellings. My phone is cracked and the touch screen is acting odd.
Mrs._Lovett
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 12:01 PM

if you are still trying to get along with your dh's co workers, who seem like they have their own little clique going on,  if it were me, i would show up bubbly and peppy, single one of them out, start with a compliment, ask a few open ended questions, pretend that I genuinely care what they're talking about (people ADORE talking about themselves), point out "I love that too!" whenever they come across something you have in common so they KNOW for a fact you like those things and cant make excuses about it, and when you talk about yourself only say positive things and avoid making it all about your kids. when they finally warm up to you they'll give you a chance. or try taking the initiative to invite them to do things you know they like. not that you should try so hard to be friends with people who dont seem like they want to be friends much but when you only have so much to work with, maybe its worth a shot to try to make it work.

oredeb
by debbie on Mar. 11, 2013 at 1:32 PM

 do you garden? what about a gardening club? or taking people who cant drive to the store? or doctor type thing? that would be more one on one

firefay
by Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 4:12 PM
We do absolutely nothing to socialize, and it sucks! :( My oldest is 4 years old, and her behavior reflects it big time. DH doesn't think playing or talking with others is important, and I cannot drive. I came up with several things for us to do, especially my oldest. Each idea has been shot down with some excuse or another. One activity was a go until the facility we were going to try suddenly shut down. :(
usmom3
by BJ on Mar. 11, 2013 at 4:50 PM

 I count anytime I talk to anther person as being social so I socialise all the time.

motheroffour186
by Bronze Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 8:18 PM

I usually find family members their age and go play at their age group I make sure they spend three days a week together my oldest do ballet drill time where they do extra activity.

WantedNameTaken
by Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 9:51 PM

No advice, just wanted to say that I'm in the same boat.  I've been putting myself out there since I moved almost eight years ago and absolutely nothing has come of it.

I'm incredibly outgoing and talk to strangers all the time.  Hubby gets comfy and looks for a seat when I stop to talk to someone in a store, because I usually get caught up for quite a while.  LOL!

The people with whom I come in contact on a regular basis seem nice enough until the time comes to invite me to an event.  The only social invitations that I get at church are the ones extended by the women's ministry to every woman at church or the ones where someone's hosting a party peddling something that requires me to part with my $$$.

I could write a book about what I've done to make friends (extended invitations, volunteered in the community, chaired committees, offered to pay for activities, joined a co-op, offered to drive to/from venues, extended babysitting services, participated in weekly Bible studies at church, joined the workout group at church, etc.).  That's a virtual resume of what I've done to become engaged with people around me.  I also attend church with my family twice a week.  None of those things has led to a single friendship.  However, I do get to witness countless close friendships amongst some of these same people I've tried to befriend as they feel the need to frequently post pictures of themselves out and about in the area and even hanging out in each other's homes.  I used to think that if I lived on the same street as some of these people...then I realized that women who lived farther away than me were in some of these cliques.

Unfortunately, I moved to a city where most of the people are born and raised here and don't like outsiders - nothing will change that.

I hate to say it, but I've stopped trying.  Cliques inside and outside of church are too much drama for me, so I just hang with hubby and the kids and no longer think about developing relationships outside of my house. :)

Quoting elizabooks:

Honestly I am about to go stir crazy. All I do is stay home, homeschooling and tending to the house. Even before the driveshaft fell out, I had no where to go to socialize. The home schooling group closest to me is 45 miles away, so I can Only go once or twice a month, but the talk is only about home school-- there is no "moms day out," the moms atswimming are not interested in talking, the moms at the library and play grounds will talk with me one week, but not thenext. I go to church, but it is over an Hour away, so not much of a chance to hang out there, and my religion demands a lot of voluntarism, but once again that isn't socialization.
I have lived in this area for 8 years now and only know 5 women ( wives of my DH's coworkers) and they ignore me at functions and are always apologizing to DH when he finds out there was a get together and I wasn't invited. ( we didn't think she'd like to go shopping for swimsuits, we didn't think shed like to see a popular movie, she reads such esoteric things we didn't think shed like to join a book club, go clubbing, go drinking etc) I never get calls or emails , so I don't even get a chance to accept or refuse.
I have tried setting up meetup groups, yahoo friends, craiglist meetups, and leaving messageson the library community boards. I have joined reading clubs, mall walking groups, crafting groups only to have them all fizzle out within a few meeting- and some were around for years.
I'm about to just look for a night job to be able to interact with people and still homeschool.
So ladies please. What do you do to avoid or combat the isolation of homeschooling?


lucsch
by Bronze Member on Mar. 12, 2013 at 2:01 AM

I'm glad this isn't another socalization post about the kids of homeschooling. LOL

I go to a once per week homeschooling support group, where the kids play in the gym, while the moms talk. We sometimes do talk about curriculum, but usually not. The conversations wander all over the place.

I have a friend I talk with as much as daily. I met her through a knitting group on yahoo. LOL Yes, turns out we live one state away, so we do get together a few times per year. I do admit it is very much a one-sided conversation most of the time. I listen, and she talks. I'm just not a talker, anyway.

That's enough for me. I was never the most social person anyway, but experiences in my life have led me to give up on close friendships. I've been used, abandoned and ignored by too many to think it is a worthwhile venture.

Instead, I enjoy my immediate family. Most of my kids are nearly grown up or grown (3 in college-yikes!). I have two grandchildren, too. 

I have many hobbies and a little online business that occupies my time. I enjoying doing things like that and find that a good way to rejuvenate and refresh.

So, in other words, other than online forums, I find socialization highly overrated.

Christie1952
by Member on Mar. 12, 2013 at 12:00 PM

A part time job is a good idea. We put the children in martial arts and 4H. This provided outings for them and for us. Good luck. 

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