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Am I being too demanding of my husband? edited

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My dh gets to work at 7 - 7:30 as an engineer for one of the Big Three auto companies. He usually gets home at 6:00. He has an hour drive home, so he generally leaves work at 5 or after.

DS has activites that start at 6 twice a week, and dh bowls 1x a week. I am supposed to drive ds to activites then we usually go out to dinner after. DH works late and meets us at the activity. We get home 8 pm-ish

After having my son the entire day along with regular housekeeping, I would like to have a rest. Having him almost the entire day, three days a week is getting too much for me. Dh will come home sometimes to drive ds to activity if I really need it, but shouldn't he just do it more often? Is that so much to ask?


I guess I should edit to say that from Tuesday morning to Friday around 6 pm I have my son with no help. I have MS which drains my energy, but still. Is it more my disease, empty complaining, or real issues?

by on Mar. 12, 2013 at 6:40 PM
Replies (11-20):
LovemyQ
by on Mar. 12, 2013 at 8:59 PM

This is a homeschooling forum. I have him home with me so no adult time or alone time. I need the alone time.

Quoting clippingmom:

Lets see I have 3 kids ages 12, 10, and 8. Dh is gone and I mean like GONE for long periods of time he left mid january and just got home last fri and is gone for two days this week.

SO ME just ME cares for the kids I attend school full time. Our 12 YO DD is active in sports, clubs at school plus has 2 dance classes on monday. Poor ds has nothing. and dd #3 has ice skating on mondays and dance on thurs. I am very active in their school and am president of the PTO. so I work addmissions to games in emergency and concessions too. among many other things.

YES you are over reacting be thankful you have what you have!


starbeck96
by Bronze Member on Mar. 12, 2013 at 9:09 PM

I am really not much help either.  I homeschool three kids; ages 15 (twin boys) and a 6 year old daughter.  My husband is self employed, but he has a lot going on.  He works from about 7-1:00 everyday (leaves about 6:30 a.m). When he gets home, he takes a quick shower and is back out the door.  He volunteers at the local public school giving art lessons to 8th graders.  He gives guitar lessons and art lessons too.  Right now things are slow in that area, but should be picking back up.  He is also about to start back to school to hopefully finish his art degree.  He does drywall for a living so he is usually very very tired when he gets home, especially on the days that he hangs and sprays & sands.  So I try not to ask him to do too much. 

If I need a break I just ask him.  Today was one of those days.  My daughter has been sick and so she has been extremely ill.  She was constantly bugging the boys and so they were arguing with her.  They also had a day of constantly arguing with each other...It was a long day...lol.  So, I asked my husband if he would run to the store and grab a few things and take my daughter and one of the boys with him so I could have just 20 minutes of only one child..

The boys are about to start baseball too, so it will be very busy then.  As far as housework goes, I feel your pain.  I do give all my kids chores.  The boys take turns every week washing dishes and helping with laundry.  My daughter will help put up clean, dry dishes and she also helps fold towels and bathcloths, and she helps dust the living room.  Maybe you could give your son a few chores that are appropriate for his age to help you.  It may not be done exactly as you would, but at least it is done..lol.  If it were not for the kids' help, I would never have time to do anything else.  But there are also 4 of us in the house everyday making a mess..lol.

All I can say is to maybe just talk to your husband about it.

ablessedlife
by Member on Mar. 12, 2013 at 9:12 PM
I can understand if he is tired from driving so much each day. And if his job is stressful. It's a tough one. Does hubby like driving? Could you talk to him about it? Could you take turns, you one week, then him one week?
AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Mar. 12, 2013 at 9:33 PM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like your husband has as much on his plate as you do yours.

(said gently)

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














kttycat84
by Bonnie on Mar. 12, 2013 at 9:50 PM

I don't think I can help you out much here. My dh leaves for work at 5 and gets home between 5 and 8. I clean the house, take care of the kids and fix dinner. As much as I want/need a break from the kids at the end of the day, I realize that he needs a break too...after all, he just worked a very physical job for 12-14 hours. On weekends he makes breakfast and helps clean, if he doesn't have duty, but during the week it's all up to me. I get my time to unwind after the kids are in bed, and I get up before they do so I get some to start the day too. Maybe you could find a babysitting co-op or something in your area to help you out some?

clippingmom
by on Mar. 12, 2013 at 9:57 PM


homeschooling or not I still stand by my respose.

Quoting LovemyQ:

This is a homeschooling forum. I have him home with me so no adult time or alone time. I need the alone time.

Quoting clippingmom:

Lets see I have 3 kids ages 12, 10, and 8. Dh is gone and I mean like GONE for long periods of time he left mid january and just got home last fri and is gone for two days this week.

SO ME just ME cares for the kids I attend school full time. Our 12 YO DD is active in sports, clubs at school plus has 2 dance classes on monday. Poor ds has nothing. and dd #3 has ice skating on mondays and dance on thurs. I am very active in their school and am president of the PTO. so I work addmissions to games in emergency and concessions too. among many other things.

YES you are over reacting be thankful you have what you have!




Walnutgrovefarm
by on Mar. 12, 2013 at 10:01 PM

I hs my ds and my dh and I own a business together. He is at the business everyday while I work 4 afternoons a week. I appreciate the fact my dh works to provide for our family. He left the final decision to me on hs and is completely supportive. I do find time once or twice a week to go riding and that is what helps me relax. I would discuss your frustration with your dh, but also letting him know how much you appreciate what he does for your family.

wowguildmomma
by on Mar. 12, 2013 at 10:06 PM

I can understand your frustration. my DH expects all time home and days off to be dedicated entirely to him and I never get a break either. I finally found a friend who doesn't mind helping me out with the kids a few times a week so that i can at least go to the gym a few days a week for an hour or so to get some down time. That way DH doesn't flip out and everything is much less stressful as a whole.

Lynette
by Member on Mar. 12, 2013 at 10:09 PM

That's not too much to ask at all.  I would expect it.

jen2150
by Silver Member on Mar. 12, 2013 at 10:10 PM

I don't depend on my husband for my breaks.  I work them into my day.  I will ask my husband to do things but he is free to say no.   He knows better how tired he is than I do.  Every family has to come to a compromise of what works for them.  I have learned a long time ago I can only control myself.  Talk to your husband and find a compromise you both can live with.  How old are your children?  If they are young remember they won't be young forever.  Maybe you could hire someone to come help you clean a couple of times per week.  I did that when my sons were in preschool and kindergarten.  

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